Open Post: Hosted By Dolly Parton Already Working On Making 2023 Better For Us All

January 5, 2023 / Posted by:

I just knew Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda were gonna try to pull Dolly Parton into this mess! And here we are. Consequences of Sound reports that Dolly’s going to contribute to a song on the soundtrack for 80 for Brady, that CTE inducing movie produced by Tom Brady, starring Dolly’s old 9 to 5 crew of working stiffs plus Rita Moreno and Sally Field pretending they’ve never seen an Oscars podium before. But if anybody’s going to save that drek from complete and utter dreckitude, it’s Dolly. Shit, she saved the Mexican Pizza AND New Year’s Eve. So she should have no problem saving her girls from making absolute fools of themselves. But Harry Hamlin’s on his own!

Since 80 for Brady has the number 80 in the title, which, by the way, represents the supposed ages of the ladies and has nothing whatsoever to do with the 1980s, the theme for the song is the 1980s. Not to mix sports metaphors or anything, but pinch-hitter Dolly is pulling in some heavy hitters from the bench in order to pull off the most astonishing hat trick since Tom Brady attempted to make that MAGA hat disappear. The song, Gonna Be You, was written by Diane Warren, and features vocals from Dolly, Debbie Harry, Cyndi Lauper, Gloria Estefan, and Belinda Carlisle. I hope and pray that the music video for this song features Guy Fieri singing all parts. COS reports:

A star-studded group of singers including Dolly Parton, Debbie Harry, and Cyndi Lauper have joined forces for a new song called “Gonna Be You,” recorded for the soundtrack to the equally star-studded upcoming road trip comedy 80 for Brady. Penned by songwriting mastermind Diane Warren and also featuring Gloria Estefan and Belinda Carlisle, the track is out on January 20th.

“When I wrote ‘Gonna Be You’ for 80 FOR BRADY, I wanted to write a song that celebrated these women’s deep friendship,” Warren said in a press release. “Since 80 was in the title I got a crazy idea, why not get some of the most iconic singers from the ’80s, who are still amazing and always will be, to all sing it?! Everyone I approached said yes and was just as excited as me!!”

Good luck to all involved except Harry Hamlin. And when Dolly’s done saving the NFL, she’s headed over to Dionne Warwick‘s house to compare notes on hussies and record a gospel duet she wrote. Rolling Stone reports:

Dionne & Dolly would be the perfect stage name for a country-soul duo made up of Dionne Warwick and Dolly Parton — a version of which isn’t too far off in the future. During a recent appearance on the Tamron Hall Show, Warwick revealed that she and Parton have recorded a gospel duet titled “Peace Like a River,” set for release later this month.

“She sent me a song that she wanted me to record and I said, ‘OK, that sounds like a deal,’” Warwick recalled of the collaboration’s origins. “She’s such a sweetheart, I know her. She sent me another song — the one that we’re going to be doing as a duet — it’s a gospel song called ‘Peace Like a River.’ She wrote it and I’m very excited about this.”

Really, the long and the short of it is that 2023 is shaping up to be The Year of Dolly, just as every year since 1959 has been. She’s saving us all; every single one us except Harry Hamlin.

Pic: Twitter

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