Category: Fast And The Furious
Here Are Some Of The Movie Trailers The Studios Served Up During The Super Bowl
Invariably, the worst food you will eat at any given Super Bowl party are nachos. Somebody’s always trying to be cute and do too much. And by the time they come around to you, they are a soggy, sticky mess that have been touched by way too many bare hands and you have no idea what you’re supposed to be eating. You’ll be all “Is this a garbanzo bean? And what is this… pineapple?!?!” Yet apparently, every single one of the movie studios that paid for a spot during yesterday’s game signed up to bring nachos. So we got served a dozen sloppy variations of cheese on chips when all anybody really wants are some hard-fried chicken wings and a cold beer. To which the studios all said “go fish,” and handed us a plate of Tropical Tuna Fiesta Surprise nachos instead (I’m looking at you, Air. Viola Davis is owed an apology).
Rita Moreno Joins The Cast Of “Fast X” Playing Vin Diesel’s Grandmother
Congratulations! It’s an abuelita! The Fast Family just got a little bit bigger, as it seems to do every damn day (they use the rhythm method), with the addition of the one and only Rita Moreno who will be playing Vin Diesel’s grandmother in Fast X, the upcoming penultimate installment of the Fast and Furious franchise. Rita will be joining other franchise newborns Jason Mamoa, Brie Larson and The Transporter director Louis Leterrier who is replacing OG Fast director Justin Lin who bailed on Fast X after reportedly beefing with Vin. But if Vin thought bringing a sweet old lady like Rita into the fold would be without risk, he’s got another thing coming. Don’t FUCK with Rita. She cheated on Brando with Elvis for revenge. And it worked. She will bury anyone who crosses her. If Vin still has a single working brain cell, he better use it to have fresh flowers to be sent to Rita’s trailer every day because when the next Fast Feud comes, and it’s gonna come, he’s gonna want to have Rita in his corner.
Jason Momoa And Eiza Gonzales Are Reportedly Dating And He Apologized For Taking Pictures Of The Sistine Chapel
Human bearskin rug Jason Momoa is keeping somebody warm at night other than Kate Beckinsale. According to People, Jason is currently dating Ambulance star Eiza Gonzalez. Sources say things between Jason and Eiza are casual at the moment, but he did attend the Ambulance premiere last month. Turns out there was nothing between Jason and Kate at the Vanity Fair Oscars party, she was just cold so Jason gave her his coat. But Eiza apparently has the privilege of lounging naked on Jason’s chest in front of a cozy fire.
Justin Lin Reportedly Quit “Fast X” After A “Major Disagreement” With Vin Diesel
The tenth Fast and Furious movie, Fast X, is being split into two movies–but they may wanna rethink that plan because pulling the first film off seems to be a bit of a struggle, so I can’t imagine doing this twice. The Hollywood Reporter says that director, Justin Lin, announced on social media that he made the “difficult decision” to leave the movie–but it seems the true tea is that it wasn’t that difficult. It seems that after a huge blowout over script changes, Justin quit that bitch, storming out and slamming the door. I’m sure that it wasn’t ten minutes before Vin Diesel was texting him pictures of the dearly departed Paul Walker to guilt him back in.
Brie Larson Has Joined The Cast Of “Fast & Furious 10”
Fresh off from entering the NFT/Metaverse arena that charges people for *checks notes* nothing of any physical value, Brie Larson is joining The Fastiverse, or whatever they’re calling it. Hopefully, Brie’s trip into the Fast and Furious movies goes better than The Rock’s and it doesn’t end with her calling Vin Diesel a “chicken shit,”“candy ass.” But it probably will!
Jason Momoa Is Reportedly Living In A $750,000 RV
After Jason Momoa announced that he and Lisa Bonet were done after nearly 17 years together, it was very up in the air as to what they would do once they went their separate ways. In my mind, I pictured Jason moving into the pool house and joining Lisa for breakfast and yoga every morning until she finally got sick of him. But as it turns out, when Jason and Lisa decided it was over, he moved into his own place. The only thing is, his own place is on four wheels and it’s parked in a friend’s driveway. Nobody needed a sexy reboot of Chris Farley’s Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker character, but Jason Momoa is currently channeling a little bit of that “living in a van” energy.