We’ve all enjoyed a good tune from time to time by The Beatles, but I’ve never really connected with them like my parents did. That all changed this morning! Coming straight from the Quincy Jones school of no fucks left to give, Paul McCartney gave an interview that probably has daughter Stella McCartney sobbing from embarrassment into a crate of environmentally friendly chiffon at her design studio. Paul says that back in the day and before they were world-famous Beatles, he and John Lennon were just typical horny boys who liked to play with their trouser Yellow Submarines, er, trouser snakes. They were so boned once (or twice!) that Paul says he, John, and a group of friends jerked off together!
Yesterday, the teenagers who survived the Parkland inspired people in over 800 cities across the world to stand up and march for gun control reform here in the bullet-wounded U.S. Celebs joined in too, one of them being Sir Paul McCartney. Sir Paul joined the march in NYC, and CNN asked him what he thought the protests could accomplish. He referenced his friend and fellow Beatle John Lennon, shot to death in front of his apartment building in NYC in December of 1980. Continue reading
Earlier this month, there were rumors of an old man feud on the set of Homeland between F. Murray Abraham and Mandy Patinkin. There must be something in the Ensure, because now here’s another story about two old legends fighting. But this one isn’t a rumor. Phil Collins has made it clear that he hates Paul McCartney.
Many of us would probably rather sit through an audit by the IRS while wearing Crocs than sit at a party hosted by gross slug Tyga, but not Paul McCartney, Beck and Taylor Hawkins from Foo Fighters. Tyga hosted a Grammys after-party last night at the Argyle and Paul, Beck and Taylor apparently tried to get in but were denied by the door people. When Paul and company were turned away, he joked, “How VIP do we gotta get?” and “We need another hit, guys!”
I don’t know if it’s embarrassing or a compliment to get denied from that salamander douche’s party. I’ll go with the latter. You’re probably wondering why would Paul want to go to that salamander douches party. I came up with 3 reasons:
1. Paul is a down-low Scientologist and he and Beck were trying to steal Tyga away from that “other” cult (the Kardashians).
2. Paul is losing it.
3. Paul was confused and thought that “Tyga” is short for “La Tigresa del Oriente” and who wouldn’t want to go to La Tigresa del Oriente’s party?
But apparently, none of those reasons are right. The Argyle tells TMZ that Paul got shit mixed up and was trying to go to Mark Ronson’s party at Hyde. When he figured out he was at the wrong club, he left. Even though the video shows them getting turned away, the Argyle claims they would’ve let them in if they wanted in.
Here’s the sad, sad scene brought to you by TMZ:
It does make sense that Paul was turned away from Tyga’s party. I mean, to get into a party hosted by Tyga, you either have to be a teenage girl or you have to BYOTDTPOTANR (Bring Your Own Teenage Daughter To Pimp Out To A Nobody Rapper).
It’s been much, much too long since we’ve all gotten a piping hot, extra large serving of cuntness from gold digging grand champion and one of my cunt idols Heather Mills, so thankfully she was asked to be on Ireland’s The Late Late Show where she delivered a beautifully bitchy gem. Heather, who was only relevant for being married to Paul McCartney, was a little pissed when the host Ryan Tubridy brought up Paul McCartney’s name. Thankfully for him, Heather Mills didn’t pull a Heather Mills by dumping a glass of water on his head, but she did say that she wasn’t there to talk about Paul. Ryan told Heather that people are interested in what she has to say about Paul and she responded by spitting out this shiny jewel of delusion:
“No, they’re not. That’s the thing. If I go down the street, all I get is kids coming up to me, half of them don’t even know who he is. That’s why he has to do songs with Rihanna and Kanye West, so people remember. But you know, most of the time I have people coming down the street and saying, ‘Oh my god! You’re a ski-racer’ or ‘You help the animals.’ I own the biggest vegan company in the world. Most of the money I do goes into helping animals, disabled kids, landmine clearing charities… You know, things that are changing the world. This is just someone I fell in love with who to me was a normal guy that happened to write a few cool songs in the 60s and a few in the 70s. It was just someone I fell in love with.”
1. Heather Mills thinks that Heather Mills is more relevant and “in with the kids” than Paul McCartney. If delusion needs inspiration on how to be more delusional, it should spend time with Heather Mills.
2. We all know that “kids” aren’t running up to Heather Mills in the street. That’s crazy. Most kids have been told at a very, very young age to never ever go up to that witch Heather Mills, because she’ll eat their souls.
3. If anyone does go up to Heather Mills in the street, the only question they probably ask her is, “Do you still have that PT Cwuza?”
UPDATE: Shirley said on Facebook that she wasn’t talking about Kanye West, but was talking about some non-famous “industry insider.” So Shirley decided to blast some no namer on Facebook and not name names while doing so. Shirley IS your passive-aggressive cousin.
Kanye West doesn’t know what that smashed paper bag lunch, wood and Lucite trophy is for, but he still wishes he could take a time machine back to that moment and snatch that award out of Shirley Manson’s hands so that he can give it to a true artist like Beyonce.
Last month, the Internet stood and slow clapped for Shirley Manson after she tore a new one into Kanye West (Calm down and pull your chonies back up, Riccardo Tisci, I didn’t mean that literally) for spitting out some nonsensical shit about artistry and for saying that the Best Album of the Year Grammy should’ve went to Beyonce instead of Beck. Well, I guess Kanye clapped back at Shirley in an email he sent to her privately, because she has Crisco’d up her face, put on all her rings and dragged him again on Facebook. Shirley could’ve responded to the private email with a private email, but that wouldn’t be fun and she wouldn’t get any attention from it. So she wrote this mystery trick an open letter on Facebook.