Category: Joe Alwyn

Sources Say Taylor Swift Was Just “Letting Off Steam” With Matty Healy And “Will Not Be Writing Albums About This One”

June 6, 2023 / Posted by:

Welp, as predicted by anyone with reason and/or a marketing degree, Taylor Swift and her rebound beau, Matty Healy from The 1975, have reportedly broken up. This movie isn’t that shucking since Taylor was roasted for sullying her pristine reputation by dating the edgiest of edgy edgelords. The dick couldn’t have been that good–there was no way. And it sure doesn’t seem to have been because not only is Taylor cutting ties, sources are publicly tossing Matty to the wolves and washing their hands of him. They said Taylor was just letting “off some steam” and sewing her “oats.” Well, it’s nice that Taylor got to feel the excitement of dating a racist dude for a hot minute, I guess…

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Taylor Swift’s Newest Song “You’re Losing Me” Is Probably About Her Split From Joe Alwyn

May 27, 2023 / Posted by:

As expected, the Garth Brooks of pop Taylor Swift released her 846th version of her seventh-month-old album Midnights (okay, it was her fifth version… and counting). Initially, it was sold EXCLUSIVELY in CD form at her Eras show in New Jersey last night. But she later released the version, The Late Night Edition, in digital format in her webstore. That edition features a new song called You’re Losing Me, where she sings, “I wouldn’t marry me either/A pathological people pleaser/ Who only wanted you to see her.”  So basically, everyone’s thinking that Taylor and Joe Alwyn broke up after six years together because he didn’t want to marry her. And to Swifties, those lyrics are a battle cry, and they’re pulling out their weapons (aka emojis) as they get ready to ATTACK!

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Taylor Swift Is Getting Called Out For Her “Calculated” Collaboration With Ice Spice

May 25, 2023 / Posted by:

Subtle” was redefined yesterday when Taylor Swift burped up the news that she’s releasing new versions of two songs from her album Midnights. TayTay announced that she and Lana Del Rey recorded a new version of their song Snow on the Beach and that she and IT rapper of the moment, Ice Spice, did a remix of her song Karma. Many have stamped the latter collab with the words “DAMAGE CONTROL” since TayTay’s current poo (typo and it stays), Matty Healy, laughed at racist comments about Ice Spice on a podcast. And while some Swifties have once again defended their savior over this, others are adding this damage control jewel to TayTay’s Queen of Performative Acts crown.

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Matty Healy Will Reportedly Write Songs For Taylor Swift’s Next Album, Despite Backlash From Her Fans

May 24, 2023 / Posted by:

While some people recycle the same restaurants they bring every new lover to, Taylor Swift lures her new boyfriends to the studio. And she’s keeping the tradition going after pulling the plug on her 6-year relationship with Joe Alwyn. Taylor’s less improved English bloke Matty Healy, the frontman of The 1975- will reportedly write songs for her new album. I see that Matty is trying to get himself a Grammy like Joe.

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Matty Healy Allegedly Ghosted His Model Girlfriend For Taylor Swift, Who Has “Never Been This Happy” In Her Life

May 22, 2023 / Posted by:

It seems that 33-year-old Taylor Swift‘s new romance with 34-year-old Matty Healy of The 1975 (who was born in 1989) has shocked a whole slew of people. The Swifties probably didn’t want to see their Queen dating a man who openly admitted to loving racist torture porn (among other horrible things). And her now-ex, Joe Alwyn, reportedly thought she and Matty were just friends. And, apparently, Matty had a girlfriend as well: 23-year-old model  Meredith Mickelson, who sources say was “blindsided” about him moving on to Taylor Swift.

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Joe Alwyn Is Reportedly “Distraught And Slighted” Over Taylor Swift’s Immediate Romance With Matty Healy After Their Break Up

May 19, 2023 / Posted by:

It looks like the Swifties aren’t the only ones who are “distraught and slighted” over Taylor Swift’s new problematic romance with The 1975’s racist torture-porn-loving mess Matty Healy. Her ex, Joe Alwyn, is too, apparently. And since Joe Alwyn co-wrote songs and co-produced Taylor’s album, Folklore, which got him a Grammy, I can’t wait for him to go solo and release his first diss track titled Distraught and Slighted. Because that’s what sources say he’s feeling over TayTay moving on to HIM.

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