Category: Marshmello

Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here: Kylie Jenner Tops Forbes’ Celebrity 100 List For 2020.

September 1, 2020 / Posted by:

This is our fault. We did this to ourselves. At some point we’re going to have to take responsibility for ourselves as a country and accept the premise that it is, in fact, a shit hole ruled by oligarchs, grifters, charlatans, and DJs with Marshmello heads, and hopefully, commit to making the changes necessary to rectify that. Otherwise, all is lost. Even if Forbes’ Celebrity 100: The World’s Highest Paid Celebrities list is a dubious distinction, we have to admit that even if their formula is about as scientifically sound as the teachings of Dianetics, it does say a lot about what we value as a culture. And right now it’s saying we value Kylie Jenner the most. She earned $560 million. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but 2020 will do strange things to a person—Taylor Swift was ROBBED! Last year’s #1 dropped to #25 ($63.5M) and Kanye West scooted into Kylie’s former #2 slot with $170M.

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Chris Brown Went After Chvrches For Criticizing His Collaboration With Marshmello

April 28, 2019 / Posted by:

Washington state is inches away from passing a bill that will end clock changes and make it Pacific Daylight Time year-round. Sloth-like humans are saying HELL YES to the change, with only a few sadists in the state House voting to continue the evil tradition of rising in pitch blackness in the bowels of winter with a Vote of 89 to 7. Regardless of this potential bucking of the system and upset of the status quo, the world is still spinning, the birds are still chirping, and Chris Brown is still being an asshole. In other words, nothing has changed. There’s a new tale of Chris Brown assholery today, this time against the Scottish band Chvrches, who publicly stated their disappointment in DJ/Producer Marshmello for working with Chris and Tyga on an upcoming project.

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