Category: Rihanna

Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here: Kylie Jenner Tops Forbes’ Celebrity 100 List For 2020.

September 1, 2020 / Posted by:

This is our fault. We did this to ourselves. At some point we’re going to have to take responsibility for ourselves as a country and accept the premise that it is, in fact, a shit hole ruled by oligarchs, grifters, charlatans, and DJs with Marshmello heads, and hopefully, commit to making the changes necessary to rectify that. Otherwise, all is lost. Even if Forbes’ Celebrity 100: The World’s Highest Paid Celebrities list is a dubious distinction, we have to admit that even if their formula is about as scientifically sound as the teachings of Dianetics, it does say a lot about what we value as a culture. And right now it’s saying we value Kylie Jenner the most. She earned $560 million. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but 2020 will do strange things to a person—Taylor Swift was ROBBED! Last year’s #1 dropped to #25 ($63.5M) and Kanye West scooted into Kylie’s former #2 slot with $170M.

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Rihanna’s New Album Remains As Elusive As Ever

July 30, 2020 / Posted by:

According to Entertainment Tonight, Rihanna’s long-awaited 9th studio album ain’t coming out until she’s good and ready to release it. Could be tomorrow, could be next year if we have one. So please let her continue her good work helping COVID-19 first responders, quarantined victims of domestic abuse, helping you with your skin-care routine, and being richer than Lord of the Dance Michael Flatley AND Ringo Starr in peace!

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Rihanna Made Her Debut On The Sunday Times Rich List

May 14, 2020 / Posted by:

The Sunday Times Rich List. A thing I just heard of today. Apparently it’s like the Forbes List, but British. Yay. Ranking ridiculously rich people. Woohoo. There’s a bunch of different categories, so even more multi-millionaires can feel special. These lists include the richest people in Film & Television, Husbands and Wives, Sports Stars, Aristocrats, and more.

Rihanna, who’s lived in London for more than a year, decided to grace the Richest Musicians list with her beauty and glamour, debuting at #3. She’s right behind Andrew Lloyd Weber and Paul McCartney, who are tied at #1. Poor ALW. Now he’s got Patti LuPone AND Rihanna on his ass. Continue reading

Rihanna Might Not Have Sent Her Father A Ventilator After All

April 21, 2020 / Posted by:

Earlier this month, Rihanna’s 66-year-old father Ronald Fenty told The Sun that he tested positive for COVID-19 and his dear thoughtful daughter swooped in and saved the day by sending him a ventilator. Ronald claimed that he didn’t get a chance to use the ventilator because he recovered quickly. Ronald didn’t say what he was going to do with his unused ventilator. Would he send it back? Donate it to a hospital? Post it on Facebook Marketplace under Antiques & Collectables? (“VENTILATOR PERSONALLY PURCHASED BY RIHANNA. RARE! PICK UP ONLY, NO LOW BALL OFFERS“). According to a source who spoke with Page Six, the answer probably isn’t going to be any of those options, because Rihanna never sent Ronald a ventilator.

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Rihanna Wants You To Know That She’s Too Busy Saving The World To Put Out New Music

April 11, 2020 / Posted by:

Under normal circumstances, if I heard about a celebrity making statements like the one above, my eyeballs would literally have to be strapped in place for months. But Rihanna is proving herself more efficient than just about anybody in the country right now during the coronavirus pandemic by ponying up money for life-saving equipment and getting out there and doing the damn thing. So y’all should just sit there and shut up about a new bop.

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Rihanna Sent Her Father A Ventilator After He Got Coronavirus

April 10, 2020 / Posted by:

Because everyone and their mother are getting coronavirus, Rihanna’s father got coronavirus. 66-year-old Ronald Fenty tested positive for COVID-19 after suffering from a high fever. He spent two weeks being treated in a Barbadian isolation center. A concerned Rihanna somehow procured a ventilator and sent it to her dad’s home, but Daddy RiRi recovered before he needed to use it. Also, he didn’t know how the hell to use it.

But it’s the thought that counts! So what’s a grateful papa to do? Send flowers? A thoughtful email? Call her up and have one of those tearful, once-in-a-lifetime conversations? Naaaw. Ronald immediately sold that shit (his story, not the ventilator, but give him time) to the British tabloids.

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