Category: Age Ain’t Nothin’ But A Number

Jennifer Aniston Talks About Breaking Her Body From Working Out And How She Hates When People Say She Looks Great For Her Age

June 9, 2023 / Posted by:

Jennifer Aniston has partnered with a home fitness brand called Pvolve, and she’s talking to InStyle and British Vogue to promote that shit. Apparently, Pvolve’s whole thing is exercising without pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion/injury/death. 54-year-old Jennifer says this approach appealed to her cuz her old fitness routine used to be so intense she eventually “burnt out and broke my body.” Ugh, so relatable. That’s, like, my main issue with fitness. I simply go too hard and too long. I’m definitely not one of those losers who joined a gym in January, went once a week for three months, and then stopped going because “the weather got nice, so maybe I’ll take up jogging” (and, no, this hypothetical schlub did not take up jogging).

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The Tech Mogul Who Spend $2 Million A Year To Reverse His Age Is Now Getting Blood Transfusions From His Teenage Son

May 25, 2023 / Posted by:

Remember Bryan Johnson, the evil tech millionaire who dumped his ex-fiancèe when she told him she had breast cancer? Well, this piece of shit is back in the news. This time, it’s for his other claim to fame: his $2 million-a-year obsession with reversing the effects of aging. The New York Post reports that Bryan is using his 17-year-old son, Talmage, as a “blood boy.” It’s exactly like it sounds. Last month, young Talmage donated his precious teen plasma to Bryan, and Bryan donated his middle-aged plasma to his 70-year-old father, Richard, in the first “tri-generational blood-swapping treatment.”

Apparently, Bryan thinks getting his son’s blood fed into his veins will make his body younger. His ultimate goal is to have all his major organs functioning as though he was in his late teens. This includes his brain, kidneys, liver, teeth, hair, skin, penis, and rectum. “Give me your blood, son, so my dick can be 17 again…”

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Open Post: Hosted By Halle Berry Hitting Back At A Troll Who Says She’s Too Old To Pose For Nudes

April 11, 2023 / Posted by:

Over the weekend, Halle Berry posted a photo on Instagram and Twitter showing herself drinking wine on a balcony in the nude. The dream! 56-year-old Halle captioned it, “I do what I wanna do [kiss emoji].” Most of the responses to Halle’s photo were positive and/or pervily appreciative. But one Twitter user/proud “anti-feminist” (so, misogynist) @ShadayaKnight, took issue with Halle’s gift to the world. Complex reports that he accused her of “posting nudes for attention in menopause”. Halle hit back with this: “Did you guys know the heart of a shrimp is located in its head?” Honestly, no, I didn’t. Thanks, Halle!

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Leonardo DiCaprio And Gigi Hadid Got “Close” At A Party After Split Rumors

February 25, 2023 / Posted by:

After Leonardo DiCaprio broke up with 26-year-old Camila Morrone, the young and sexy bachelor (or so his PR team keeps telling me) has been playing the field. Over the last few months, he’s been spotted with women who meet his usual age range of 25-ish like Gigi Hadid and Victoria Lamas. He even managed to set off everyone’s alarm bells when he romantically sat next to a 19-year-old model. Thankfully, that teenage rumor wasn’t true, and college freshman classes across America can rest easy. Having dabbled in the concept of dating someone three decades younger than him, Leo appears to be back to getting “cozy” with 27-year-old Gigi. Yeah, there’s still a 20-year age difference, but at least this one’s high school graduation wasn’t affected by COVID

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Lucy Hale Talked About Dating A 52-Year-Old, And It’s Probably Skeet Ulrich

January 20, 2023 / Posted by:

The topic of the week is celeb relationships with large age gaps, and Lucy Hale has something to say! Nearly two years ago, 33-year-old Lucy and 53-year-old Skeet Ulrich made everyone scratch their heads and go, “Heh?”, when paps caught them kissing on a lunch date in L.A. Less than three months later, it was reported that this random pairing had already thrown in the towel. Neither party ever publicly commented on their relationship… until now. Kinda. Us Weekly reports that Lucy went on Rachel Bilson’s podcast, Broad Ideas, and discussed her dating preferences. Lucy says that she’s dated “all the way up to 52,” and she “loved it.” While she didn’t explicitly name Skeet as her 52-year-old (and, um, he was technically 51 during their fling), it’s gotta be Skeet, right? Unless Lucy’s been screwing around with other famous 52-year-olds like Kevin Smith, Hunter Biden, or Fat Joe…

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Open Post: Hosted By Flossie, The World’s Oldest Living Cat

November 25, 2022 / Posted by:

Introducing Flossie, the current Guinness World Record-holder for the oldest living cat at 26 years and 316 days, to be precise. Flossie, who has since turned 27, was recently adopted by Vicki Green, who got her from Cats Protection, a British kitty charity. Cats Protection employee Naomi Rosling says she was “flabbergasted” when Flossie’s vet records revealed she was almost 27. Vicki says she knew Flossie was special but had no clue she’d be sharing her home with world record holder. Suuure. Vicki probably scoured the Internet looking for the oldest cat possible, all in a sick attempt to be a part of a Guinness World record. Sweetie, if you want a record that badly, go see Spider-Man 292 times in theaters like a normal person!

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