The picture above is a still from an old interview conducted between NXIVM founder and sex cult leader Keith Raniere and his former #1 student/recruiter/branding iron holder Allison Mack. After today, the only interviews he’ll be giving will be through two-way glass, because a Brooklyn jury just found Keith guilty of everything.
Looks like the dark web is the only place that Woody Allen will be able to release his memoir, as publishers reportedly want nothing to do with it. Since the #MeToo movement there has been a cultural shift in how we look at serial gross guys. As we all know, Woody married his step-daughter Soon Yi, allegedly dated a 16 year old in his 40’s, and has been accused of molestation by Dylan Farrow. Which has resulted in no American publisher wanting to put that creepy mug on an autobiography sleeve and hear about his life as a tortured artist.
Today must be White Actresses Pleading Guilty To Shit Day, because Allison Mack, who went from Chloe in Smallville to second-in-command of a torturous sex cult, has pleaded guilty to racketeering and racketeering conspiracy charges including forced labor. No word if Allison struck a peal deal and that deal includes her getting branded with the word GUILTY, kind of like how the members of the sex cult she helped run were branded.
If Pete Davidson‘s big dick (moderately sized dick?) is the disease, then deleting your Instagram account must be the symptom, because peace-ing out of Insta seems to be a trend surrounding Pete and his BDE. Both Pete and Ariana Grande quit it while they were together, and now Pete’s current confirmed tonsil hockey partner Kate Beckinsale has deleted all of her Instagram pics. Kate must have been tired of comments from fans comparing her relationship with Pete to the Crypt Keeper and Teddy Ruxpin because of their 20 year age difference.
The Kardashian Koven are, hands down, the X-Men of famewhoring because their super power is getting attention. And Kendall Jenner has always been like Kitty Pryde phasing in and out of the limelight whenever the rest of her sisters were doing too much. Not that Kendall hasn’t added to her family’s brand of “Please go away now” because let’s not forget when she became the Martin Luther King Jr of soft drinks a few years ago with that dumb ass Pepsi ad. Now Kendall, with the help of Kris Jenner, just pulled off one of the ultimate switch-a-roos in the history or fame whoring and I don’t know whether to congratulate her or blow up her social media with hate mail for wasting my damn time.
Harvey Weinstein, the giant lump of shit who became a movie mogul, has been trying to get out of facing trial for sexual assault in NYC, and I’m surprised his team of lawyers didn’t argue that only a human can be tried for something and Harvey’s technically a giant lump of shit. But CNN says that today in court, Judge James Burke sided with the prosecution and dropped a wet judicial fart on Team Harvey’s dismissal request. Harvey Weinstein is actually going to trial for rape. First, Bill Cosby goes from alleged rapist to rapist rapist, and now Harvey is one step closer to moving into a prison cell. I see 2018 winking at us like, “See, bitch, I’m not that bad.”