85-year-old Bill Cosby is in some legal trouble again, but not nearly as much as I think he deserves. After being sentenced to 10 years in jail in Pennsylvania for the rape of Andrea Constand, Bill’s conviction was overturned in June 2021 by the Pennsylvania Supreme Court due to a previous agreement he had with prosecutors. But over in New York, Bill Cosby is now facing a civil lawsuit from five of his alleged victims. And the women are also hitting NBCUniversal with a lawsuit. There’s obviously no prison time on the table, but taking Bill’s money would also be nice.
Just four years ago, Robert Sylvester Kelly was bragging that it was too late to prosecute him for any alleged crimes because, not only was he adored by “40 billion motherfuckers,” but they “should have did this shit thirty years ago” before his music had “been injected into the world.” Speaking of lethal injections, Robert won’t be administered one for the crimes of racketeering and sex trafficking that he was convicted of last September in New York. However, according to Page Six, he will be serving a 30-year sentence for them. Oopsie daisy! Turns out it wasn’t too late to #MuteRKelly after all. Today, Robert was sentenced to serve 30 years for one count of racketeering and eight counts of violating the Mann Act which “prohibits the transport of ‘any woman or girl across state lines for any ‘immoral purpose’.” Thanks to vaccines and the dozens of brave women (45 witnesses testified!) who came forward to share their experiences, 40 billion motherfuckers have been cured!
Well, it was fun while it lasted. According to Reuters, the U.S. Supreme Court has declined to intervene in the Pennsylvania Supreme Court’s decision to reverse Bill Cosby’s 2018 conviction for the sexual assault of Andrea Constand, thus assuring that Bill will likely die a free man. However, if there’s a silver lining to be seen in this decision, it’s that that could be any day now. Bill was sentenced to three to 10 years, but the devil don’t care if Bill’s evil ass is farting into a musty horsehair prison cot or a luxurious Scandinavian memory foam pillow top wrapped in organic cotton. He’s waiting in the wings rubbing his hands together in fevered anticipation as we speak ready to drag it to hell. Jesus may have let Justice fall asleep at the wheel, but Satan’s got that good connect and he and Karma are ready to PAR-TAY!
Bill Cosby Is Putting His Comedy Tour On Hold Because Of His Upcoming Civil Trial For Alleged Sexual Assault Of A Minor
Bill Cosby is finding out the hard way that being an ex-con poses a lot of additional roadblocks on one’s path to success. Say what you will about Bill, but before he was incarcerated for AlLeGEdlY drugging and raping Andrea Constand (et al), he was a very popular comedian. Now, even though his conviction was overturned, Bill is struggling to relaunch his
career veneer of respectability. TMZ reports that Bill’s planned comedy tour has been put on hold due to an upcoming civil trial in which he is being accused of, big surprise, sexual assault. I mean damn, can this poor old man catch his breath? I sure hope not.
Bill Cosby just got out of prison because of a technicality and will no longer face punishment for allegedly drugging and raping Andrea Constand and dozens upon dozens of other women over the course of his long career and life. Even though the Pennsylvania Supreme Court overturned his conviction, most people should understand that he literally admitted to getting quaaludes to use on women sexually. But there are still people who actually support him. Well, those people are in luck because TMZ says that Cosby has a docuseries coming and is reportedly trying to put together a comedy tour.
Yesterday we all found that 83-year-old Bill Cosby would not, in fact, be spending the rest of his days in prison for rape, because a legal technicality had gotten him an early release after just two years served on a 3-10 year prison sentence. Bill is probably celebrating, and we know his TV wife Phylicia Rashad was throwing up her hands in celebration. But someone must have told her that her unbridled enthusiasm for Bill’s release was capital-t Tacky, because she’s released a second statement on the matter. We know the news was probably the height of awful for Bill’s victims. And one alleged victim – Janice Dickinson – confirmed as much, when she released her own statement describing that the news of Bill’s release absolutely, undeniably, 100% sucks.