Category: Prison Time

Elizabeth Holmes Has Reported To A Texas Prison To Begin Her 11-Year Prison Sentence

May 30, 2023 / Posted by:

It’s official. After months of trying to delay her 11-year prison sentence and the New York Times helping her rehabilitate her image,  Theranos fraudster Elizabeth Holmes has finally reported to the clink. According to the Associated Press, 39-year-old Elizabeth (sorry, Liz) entered a federal women’s prison camp in Bryan, Texas earlier today. And, small world alert, it’s the same minimum security facility where the feds sent Housewives telemarketing scammer Jen Shah. Man, I hope these two become grifter-besties and star in their own prison reality show called House Of Fraud with Holmes & Shah.

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Jen Shah Of “The Real Housewives Of Salt Lake City” Is Demanding An Investigation After A Prison Picture Of Her Was Leaked

May 26, 2023 / Posted by:

Though the unsavory and immoral players of Scandoval have overshadowed most of the other many miscreants of Bravo for the past few months, lawless scammer extraordinaire Jen Shah still exists–though in captivity. She began serving a 6 ½ year prison sentence (that’s already been reduced by a year) back in February for pleading guilty to wire fraud in a telemarketing lead generation scam that mostly targeted the elderly. Up until now, we’ve only gotten a glimpse into her incarceration in the form of two badly written “Jen’s Diaryentries on her website, which hilariously has a spot where you can provide your email address (DON’T). But a pic of her in prison recently surfaced, and now she wants an investigation to see who was behind the camera. And shocking to no one, her victims haven’t seen a dime of the restitution she promised to pay back, so the Feds are hoping to garnish her The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City checks.

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The New York Times Tried To Help Elizabeth Holmes Rehabilitate Her Image With A Profile

May 8, 2023 / Posted by:

Elizabeth Holmes is headed to prison… soon. Maybe. Eventually. The Theranos fraudster was supposed to start serving her 11-year sentence on April 27, but she got it delayed with a last-minute appeal. Yesterday, The New York Times published a series of interviews with her entitled, “Liz Holmes Wants You to Forget About Elizabeth.” It’s the first time Elizabe- sorry, LIZ has spoken with the media since 2016, and Business Insider described the piece as an obvious attempt to rehabilitate her public image before she heads to the clink.

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R. Kelly Is Suing The Detention Center He’s Living In For Putting Him On Suicide Watch (UPDATE)

July 5, 2022 / Posted by:

UPDATE: TMZ says that R. Kelly got what he wanted and he has been taken off of suicide watch.

It must have been a rude awakening for R. Kelly when he realized he was spending his Independence Day in a place that doesn’t celebrate independence: Prison! And with twenty-nine more firework-free holidays ahead I’m sure at some point he’ll forget what potato salad and chargrilled burgers taste like. I mean of course, ultimately he can go to Hell. But before that happens he has a long time in the pokey to think about his past three decades of inflicting abuse. And the people who run his current home, Metropolitan Detention Center, Brooklyn, have placed him on suicide watch. Although, R. Kelly’s trying to convince everyone he has no plans of harming himself or others.

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R. Kelly Has Been Sentenced To 30 Years In Prison

June 29, 2022 / Posted by:

Just four years ago, Robert Sylvester Kelly was bragging that it was too late to prosecute him for any alleged crimes because, not only was he adored by “40 billion motherfuckers,” but they “should have did this shit thirty years ago” before his music had “been injected into the world.” Speaking of lethal injections, Robert won’t be administered one for the crimes of racketeering and sex trafficking that he was convicted of last September in New York. However, according to Page Six, he will be serving a 30-year sentence for them. Oopsie daisy! Turns out it wasn’t too late to #MuteRKelly after all. Today, Robert was sentenced to serve 30 years for one count of racketeering and eight counts of violating the Mann Act which “prohibits the transport of ‘any woman or girl across state lines for any ‘immoral purpose’.” Thanks to vaccines and the dozens of brave women (45 witnesses testified!) who came forward to share their experiences, 40 billion motherfuckers have been cured!

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Joe Exotic Has Called Off His Prison Wedding And Is Back With His Ex

June 19, 2022 / Posted by:

TRUE LOVE IS DEAD! Sort of. When it comes to Joe Exotic, something usually dies. Whether it be that bitch Carol Baskin’s husband (so Joe claims), interest in the Tiger King and any of its spinoffs, or a prison romance. Last we heard of Joseph Maldonado-Passage, he was planning to marry his mysterious felonious fiancé, John Graham. After meeting behind bars, Joe wanted to make an honest man out of John and marry him. The main thing hindering his impending nuptials was his messy divorce from Dillon Passage. Well, it looks like Joe won’t be adding another hyphen to his name because the marriage is officially off!

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