In this messy, scary world we have two things we can cling to (three if you count Bette White) that reminds us that there is still some good and kindness in the world. Those things are: the legacy of Mister Fred Rogers and the forever nice guy charm of Mister Tom Hanks. We already knew that Tom was playing Mister Rogers, and now the trailer is finally here.
We’ve all got our causes and in these confusing and dividing times Justin Bieber has discovered his (other than defending Chris Brown), as he’s put out a call to all his fans to help bring back the Double-Stick Popsicles.
So this is surprising for a variety of reasons: 1) I didn’t even know they were gone, and 2) they were discontinued in 1986?! Huh? I feel like I grew up eating these so I have no idea what kind generic double popsicle life I was living? My dad probably glued two Popsicles together just to shut me up.
Pride month ended with a BANG yesterday, and not just because I busted my ass on the floor while drunkenly dancing to a Robyn remix by myself in my living room. 20-year-old rapper Lil Nas X came out as a member of the LGBTQ community (or came out as a Rainbow Brite stan, which is pretty much the same thing) when he tweeted an up-close shot of a rainbow on his album cover and said almost the same thing I said to my cousin when she shockingly shouted, “You gay?!“, at me. And she displayed this act of shockingness while we were on our way to a fucking gay club and I was wearing (true story) a Spandex sleeveless crop top shirt, faux alligator pleather pants, and a star-shaped crystal stick-on tattoo. Lil Nas X thought he made it deadass obvious that he’s as gay as that outfit.
Michael Avenatti wasn’t able to land his big game fish, Donald Trump (bottom feeding flat fish can grow quite big, don’t ya know), but apparently he’s had his sights set on easier prey too. Michael announced that he’s been in possession of a previously unseen tape of Robert Sylvester Kelly engaging in “multiple sexual assaults of a girl underage”. According to Michael, he’s been representing “multiple clients” with allegations of sexual assault against Robert since April of 2018, and has been doing so pro bono because he cares deeply about “young African-American girls”. I’m sure his involvement had nothing at all to do with sidling up to the white-hot spotlight R. Kelly’s been living under since, I don’t know, about April of 2018. But regardless of his motives, it sounds like Michael may have found a smoking gun, and has turned it over to the Cook County State’s Attorney’s office.
UPDATE: And now with mug shot, in case you needed a feel-good wallpaper for your phone.
Bill Cosby will have at least three years to perfect his prison Puddin’ Pop recipe (using dirty toilet water, generic brand gelatin bought from the commissary and powdered milk), because today he was hit with a 3 to 10 year prison sentence for drugging and raping Andrea Constand in 2004. And just like that, Trump crossed Cosby’s name off of the list of possible replacements in case Brett Kavanaugh’s nomination doesn’t go through.
Because nothing is sacred and we should expect the announcement of “The Bible 2: Here We Go Again”any day now, Hollywood is looking at what is left on the clearance rack at what TV shows haven’t been rebooted and trying them on for size…but some shit apparently has been staring them in the face for years now and it took this long to bring it back. It’s being reported that Designing Women is next up for a return to TV, and it even has the original creator, Linda Bloodworth-Thomason behind it…but what about Julia Sugarbaker’s monologues?!