When I heard Will Smith was making his triumphant return to the big screen in another movie about slavery I immediately became uninterested. But Will still needs damage control after the incident we shall now refer to as Slap-A-Ho Day, and apparently, Emancipation is getting rave reviews. Now, Will has overthrown his wife Jada Pinkett-Smith‘s hosting gig on her Facebook show Red Table Talk to bore his children to tears as he discusses how his co-star Ben Foster got all method on him by ignoring him the entire six months of production.

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Do you feel that? It’s the earth finally settling after it was rocked by all the bombshells (not really) dropped during the final three episodes of Netflix’s Harry & Meghan, which came out today. The first three episodes were covered by Mieka last week, and those episodes were very “when the book report assignment calls for a 1,200-word count, but you’ve only got 400 words in you, so you’ve got to stretch that shit out.” The last three episodes were kind of the same. They cover the royal family drama over Prince Harry and Meghan Markle quitting that bitch, Tyler Perry becoming their Captain Save-A-Ho, and a text from BEYONCE! I know, Harry and Meghan buried the lede. Netflix says that Harry & Meghan is its biggest documentary debut ever, but its debut would’ve been a zillion times bigger if the show was only titled: A Text From Beyonce (featuring Harry and Meghan).

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Lea Michele is getting some attention, but it’s not about race or bullying this time! Lea shared selfies on her Instagram, and social media lit up about buccal fat removal–the new procedure allegedly making its way through the women of Hollywood like Pete Davidson. Lea’s name was tossed around with other women, and people started talking about the hot new insecurity people can have about their faces. But, of course, like all superficial cosmetic things, there’s a medical downside. so before you vacuum your cheeks to fit in with weirdos, consult a professional!

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And romaine wept. Salads just haven’t been the same ever since Olivia Wilde grabbed her “special salad dressing” and went home last month after the dissolution of her and Harry Styles’ two-year relationship, which just so happened to also be good for Don’t Worry Darling buzz. As we already learned, Olivia was having a “difficult” time with the relationship ending. And a source says that Olivia and her vengeful nips are “still pretty hurt” about it, but Harry “isn’t too broken up” about the breakup.

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Bow, the Pepaw Bully King of Los Angeles’ Heaven On Earth Cat Sanctuary!

The Hot Slut of the Day title is not the first one won by Bow here. Bow was already a titleholder since the Heaven on Earth cat sanctuary named him as their Naughty Cat of the Week. Bow earned that illustrious title by allegedly fucking with other elder cats during feeding time. Actually, I shouldn’t even say “allegedly.” Because if cats could talk, we’d all be screwed, but that’s not the point. If cats could talk and you asked Bow if he bullied other senior pussies, he’d probably proudly say, “Yes, and why aren’t you bowing down before this two-time titleholder?!”

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