The eternal flame of love that is Pete Davidson and Emily Ratajkowski‘s minute rice relationship may be ending sooner than we all thought. Or, later than we all thought, if you believe in love the way I do. Because apparently, EmRata is dating others. This is shocking news, I know, but we better not let Pete’s mom Amy find out because she will definitely pull up to EmRata’s house ready to whoop that ass. Meanwhile, now that he knows he’s not the only one, Pete is dealing with a case of the sads, even though it’s now being reported that they were never exclusive in the first place.

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Elon Musk said he would protect everyone’s right to freedom of speech once he grabbed Twitter by the neck and made it his bitch, but we knew that was a lie. And in keeping true to his commitment to making sure Twitter burns to the ground, he has now targeted many high-profile journalists from various media outlets like CNN and the New York Times. Of course, Elon understands their frustrations and has found a way to address their concerns. HA! No, he didn’t. Instead, he did what most corroded jerks do when they can’t handle the truth by suspending their accounts without any explanation.

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The 45th Annual Kennedy Center Honors already happened earlier this month, and those who’ve given us a lifetime of contributions in the entertainment arena, like U2 and George Clooney, were some of this year’s honorees. And if by “lifetime contributions” they meant “your iTunes is still fucked all the way up and always will be for the rest of your lifetime by the unsolicited disbursal of U2’s Songs of Innocence album,” then yeah, I guess U2 qualifies. But not to be outdone by U2’s tomfoolery, honoree, and one of the “world’s most handsome men,” George Clooney also did some shady shit in his storied time in the biz–literally. While giving a speech about his good friend, George, Matt Damon’s KCH speech touched on the time that George took a big girthy dump in fellow actor Richard Kind’s kitty litter box back in the day when they were roommates. Stars–they’re just like us!

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The woman known as Jennifer Shah is truly going to go down in the Real Housewives history books for being the absolute messiest and most perfect casting choice for the series ever. Not only has Jen been charged and pleaded guilty to federal charges for scamming people, many of which were elderly, through her marketing company. Last season, Jen was nearly arrested on camera, and the feds raided her house for evidence. Turns out that the feds also found a bunch of fake designer shit. BREAKING: a Real Housewife was caught faking the lavish lifestyle she can’t afford!

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Earlier this week, several suspicious Twitter accounts claimed that there was going to be an announcement about the late Stephen Sondheim’s unfinished musical Square One. Then this morning, one of those suspicious Twitter accounts announced that Sondheim muse Bernadette Peters and Nathan Lane were going to star in the Broadway premiere of Square One in 2023. Well, if it sounds too good to be true, that’s because it is. It was a hoax. There are no plans for a production of Square One, and Bernadette’s rep shut down the rumor. I know that the First Commandment should really be “Thou Shalt Not Trust Twitter,” but the trick or tricks behind this hoax went too far. How dare they mess with the emotions of theater queens by making us believe that the legendary Bernadette was about to croon out a new Sondheim song on a Broadway stage. Send that evil prankster immediately to Death Row, or worse, make them watch Diana: The Musical  – The A.V. Club

Panera’s Charged Lemonade went viral after a TikToker said she was drinking them regularly until she found out one of them has 260 milligrams of caffeine (about four shots of espresso) and at least 62 grams of sugar (almost twice as much as a can of Coke). So if you want to visit space but don’t want to take a ride on Jeff Bezos’ dick rocket, just drink a Panera Charged Lemonade and up, up, you’ll go. But sadly, I drink so much coffee all day that I’d probably take a big gulp of a Charged Lemonade and say, “Is it in yet?!” – Celebitchy

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