Today, you can expect every single government to announce that December 8th is an international holiday where we must gather around our televisions and silently take in the instantly important cultural artifact now known as Netflix’s Harry & Meghan. After declaring war on Prince William and Princess Kate by dropping the first trailer for this shit during the Waleses’ Boston tour and cruelly paying all those fans to boo P. Willy and Kate at a Celtics game (that’s EXACTLY what happened!!!!), Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are back in the second trailer for their docuseries, where they continue to go on about why they left life as senior royals. Netflix also confirmed that Volume I (a pretentious way of saying “the first three episodes) will be released this Thursday, December 8th, and Volume II (a pretentious way of saying “the last three episodes”) will be released a week later on December 15th. But not to worry if you don’t have Netflix; you can catch this when it plays at the Smithsonian since that’s exactly where this pivotal piece of history is headed!
Sources Say The Sussexes Have “Declared War” On The Wales By Releasing The Trailer For “Meghan & Harry” During Their “Super Bowl” Charity Event
If memory serves, America did an entire revolution so we wouldn’t have to be bothered with the goings on of the British Royal Family. So I am a bit perplexed as to why they keep washing up on our shores, looking for attention and dumping their family tea all up in our harbors. As if we don’t have our own traditions of feuding inbred clans to contend with! Page Six reports that sources claim that the release of the trailer for Prince Harry and his American Wife Meghan Markle’s Netflix documentary, Harry & Meghan, is part of a ”coordinated campaign” to “overshadow” Prince William and Princess Kate’s “Super Bowl” charity trip to Boston. And the Daily Mail says the documentary as a whole is tantamount to “a declaration of war,” which, as far as I can tell, ain’t got shit to do with the price of tea, which, BY THE WAY, should be free since we didn’t ask for it and y’all just dumped it on us anyway. I mean, we will take it. But we are not paying a penny more than we’re already shelling out for our Netflix subscriptions!
Prince William And Princess Kate Sat Courtside At A Boston Celtics Game Last Night, And They Were Booed
Prince William and Princess Kate’s Caribbean tour earlier this year went over about as well as a Black woman who isn’t a first-generation African immigrant existing in Lady Hussey’s presence–which is not well at all–so as we know, they decided to take a working trip to somewhere known to be FAR more friendly and welcoming: Boston. Kate and William are in the city to attend the Earthshot Prize Awards and decided to go on a field trip to a Boston Celtics game where they sat courtside; because where else can you see Bostonians at their very dignified best than at one of their professional teams’ sporting events? But some Bostonians weren’t amused and welcomed the royals with boos and chants of “USA!”
As Prince William and Princess Kate take Boston by STORM heavy rainfall so-so rainfall barely a light drizzle, Netflix has released the first trailer for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s reality show, I mean, docuseries. You may be thinking that Harry, Meghan, and their PR team are cackling into the morning Montecito air over their trailer snatching the attention away from P. Willy and Kate’s three-day tour through the land of Dunkin. But according to sources, Harry and Meghan were trying to get Netflix to push the release of their docuseries into next year because they wanted to tone down what they’ve said about the Royal Family following the death of THE QUEEN. But Netflix needs to get their money’s worth from the multi-year deal they signed with Harry and Meghan two years ago, so they’re reportedly releasing the whole thing on December 8th. And this morning, the first trailer came out. So if the trailer cuts out while you’re watching it, that’s probably just from Meghan sneakily pulling the plug on Netflix’s server as Harry plays lookout.
You know, there are British people and there are BRITISH people, if you know what I mean. And then you have your BRITISH, BRITISH people, like Prince William and Princess Kate, who bleed Thames water and breathe the same rarefied Balmoral air as, well, as Ghislaine Maxwell. But try as they might, William and Kate have a lot of catching up to do if they want to court American audiences (fans? Watchers? What do they want from us?!?!) with the same success abroad as William’s brother Prince Harry and his American Wife Meghan Markle. But bless their little crumpet hearts; they’re trying!
Last night was King Charles’ very first state banquet as monarch. The dinner was held for South Africa’s visiting president, Cyril Ramaphosa, who was originally scheduled to make the trip in September. THE QUEEN’S death forced him to reschedule. This banquet was a very big deal (for people who actually give a rat’s ass about the monarchy), so the Royals decided to to bust out the big guns. Their version of “the big guns” is, of course, sparkly tiaras. Queen Consort Camilla wore THE QUEEN’S Belgian Sapphire Tiara and Kate Middleton wore Queen Mary’s Lover’s Knot tiara. The King didn’t get to wear shit. He kept his dome diamond, sapphire, and hair-free. Continue reading