Prince William Screamed At Prince Harry In Front Of THE QUEEN, And Other “Revelations” From The Final Episodes Of “Harry & Meghan”
Do you feel that? It’s the earth finally settling after it was rocked by all the bombshells (not really) dropped during the final three episodes of Netflix’s Harry & Meghan, which came out today. The first three episodes were covered by Mieka last week, and those episodes were very “when the book report assignment calls for a 1,200-word count, but you’ve only got 400 words in you, so you’ve got to stretch that shit out.” The last three episodes were kind of the same. They cover the royal family drama over Prince Harry and Meghan Markle quitting that bitch, Tyler Perry becoming their Captain Save-A-Ho, and a text from BEYONCE! I know, Harry and Meghan buried the lede. Netflix says that Harry & Meghan is its biggest documentary debut ever, but its debut would’ve been a zillion times bigger if the show was only titled: A Text From Beyonce (featuring Harry and Meghan).
Prince Harry Says That “They Were Happy To Lie To Protect My Brother” In The Trailer For “Volume II” Of Netflix’s “Harry & Meghan”
The first part of Harry & Meghan (aka The Oprah Interview: The B-Sides) is a hit in the UK for Netflix. The first episode got 2.4 million smart TV views in one day. And it’s safe to say that 2.3 million of those views came from Piers Morgan’s viciously hate-fapping to the show so hard that he forgot to wish his wife a happy birthday publicly. The last three episodes (or “Volume II” as it’s pretentiously called) of Harry & Meghan come out this week. To promote it, Netflix released a trailer, and it’s pretty much the same ole same ole.’ But there’s a moment when Prince Harry says, “THEY were happy to lie to protect my brother.” As for who is the THEY that Harry is talking about, is it the Palace? Is it the media? Is it the blind tricks who declared Prince William the hottest bald guy on the planet? Well, even Netflix might be confused about who the “they” is.
Today, you can expect every single government to announce that December 8th is an international holiday where we must gather around our televisions and silently take in the instantly important cultural artifact now known as Netflix’s Harry & Meghan. After declaring war on Prince William and Princess Kate by dropping the first trailer for this shit during the Waleses’ Boston tour and cruelly paying all those fans to boo P. Willy and Kate at a Celtics game (that’s EXACTLY what happened!!!!), Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are back in the second trailer for their docuseries, where they continue to go on about why they left life as senior royals. Netflix also confirmed that Volume I (a pretentious way of saying “the first three episodes) will be released this Thursday, December 8th, and Volume II (a pretentious way of saying “the last three episodes”) will be released a week later on December 15th. But not to worry if you don’t have Netflix; you can catch this when it plays at the Smithsonian since that’s exactly where this pivotal piece of history is headed!
As Prince William and Princess Kate take Boston by STORM heavy rainfall so-so rainfall barely a light drizzle, Netflix has released the first trailer for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s reality show, I mean, docuseries. You may be thinking that Harry, Meghan, and their PR team are cackling into the morning Montecito air over their trailer snatching the attention away from P. Willy and Kate’s three-day tour through the land of Dunkin. But according to sources, Harry and Meghan were trying to get Netflix to push the release of their docuseries into next year because they wanted to tone down what they’ve said about the Royal Family following the death of THE QUEEN. But Netflix needs to get their money’s worth from the multi-year deal they signed with Harry and Meghan two years ago, so they’re reportedly releasing the whole thing on December 8th. And this morning, the first trailer came out. So if the trailer cuts out while you’re watching it, that’s probably just from Meghan sneakily pulling the plug on Netflix’s server as Harry plays lookout.