Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle can now easily skip on over to Oprah’s humble abode or Ellen DeGeneres’ little seaside shack (that’s if they want to contort their faces into an awkward smile while catching Ellen scorching a gardener’s face with her flaming words of rage for her grass being 1/10th of an inch too long) to borrow a cup of caviar or diamonds, or whatever rich people borrow from each other because they have permanently moved to the Santa Barbara area in California. And yes, I’m resisting the urge to Google, “Is the Whole Foods in Santa Barbara hiring a bagger?” so that I can finally say that I once bagged PHG’s organic eggplant.
After making a little stop-off in Vancouver, so that their ultimate plan of living in California wouldn’t be that obvious, PHG and Meghan borrowed Tyler Perry’s Beverly Hills estate while looking for a house in Bel-Air. But I guess they didn’t want to deal with pap drones or they’re just really big fans of the soap opera masterpiece Santa Barbara (that’s probably it) because they have moved out of the House that Madea built and into their own house in Santa Barbara. Their rep confirmed to People that they’ve been living there since last month:
“The Duke and Duchess of Sussex moved into their family home in July of this year. They have settled into the quiet privacy of their community since their arrival and hope that this will be respected for their neighbors, as well as for them as a family.”
TMZ added that they’ve specifically moved to Montecito and spent around $10 million. That price range probably made a Bel-Air real estate agent look at those low-budget poors up and down and say, “Give me a minute to switch out my Bentley for my Benz because I’m going to have to take you to Bel-Air ADJACENT.”
Page Six also heard from a source who told them that L.A. was never meant to be PHG and Meghan’s home home, and they didn’t leave because of the paparazzi. They’ve been looking at houses in Santa Barbara for a minute and plan to make it Master Archie’s hometown:
“This is the first home either of them has ever owned. It has been a very special time for them as a couple and as a family — to have complete privacy for six weeks since they moved in. They intend to put down their roots in this house and the quiet community, which has considerable privacy. This is where they want to bring Archie up, where they hope he can have as normal a life as possible.
Harry and Meghan never intended to make Los Angeles their home. It was a good place for them to be upon their arrival in the US to be close to Meghan’s mom [who lives in LA]. They have thought about this carefully and researched it well. This is the place where they plan to be happy, make good friends and bring up Archie, giving him the chance to play with other children his age.”
Gayle King better sharpen her shank because PHG and Meghan might be trying to replace her as The Mighty O’s BFFs. Oprah reportedly put PHG and Meghan in touch with Tyler Perry which led to them staying at his mansion. And Oprah, of course, owns a massive $90 million Montecito estate. Ellen DeGeneres has owned several homes in the area, including a Montecito mansion she bought for $27 million last year. Jennifer Lawrence, Rob Lowe, Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis, and Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom (who seem to be looking to upgrade) all have homes there.
Page Six’s source also said that even though PHG grew up in palaces, Tyler Perry’s $18 million, 12-bedroom Bel Air mansion was too opulent for him and he was looking for something more modest and intimate. And honestly, the sheer definition of modest is a $10 million Montecito home, which The Daily Mail claims that Prince Charles helped buy.
PHG and Meghan probably got more space in Montecito than they would have gotten in Bel-Air. And that’s a good thing because now Meghan has plenty of outdoor spaces to choose from when PHG gets that golden shower twinkle (more like tinkle) in his eye and wants to reenact the moment he fell in love with her by asking her to piss in the backyard.