Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 21, 2019 / Posted by:

The nightmare-inducing hand monster from New Zealand!

If my hand had a face, it would make the same snooty judgmental look that horrifying phalanges demon from the Ninth Circle is making, and my hand would do it because it’s sick of “going to work” every time I think of Prince Hot Ginge. Ooop, there it goes again! So I don’t need that sculpture, and neither do the people of Wellington in New Zealand, but they got it. And now every time they go by the City Gallery, they’ll see a judgy bitch looking at them like, “What, you’ve never seen a sassy Bill Clinton-faced giant hand who is delivering a devastating finger on ‘hip’ pose?”

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 20, 2019 / Posted by:

These Cricketeer suit ads!

Cricketeer was a suits brand from the 1970s that stayed around until at least the mid-80s. You can easily find one on eBay or Etsy if you’re an extra busy serious business man who loves doing yoga on the daily but don’t have the time to change out of your serious business man suit!

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 19, 2019 / Posted by:

Jessiica George, the subway model who gave riders a pose show AND HOW!

When I lived in NYC and rode the subway, I always did my best impersonation of the subway seat, because I wanted to melt into the background and not be noticed. I kept my eyes on my Jackie Collins book (hidden in a James Joyce book because I really didn’t want strangers to bother me to ask if I’m a Harvard lit graduate since I have impeccable taste in English literature) and my headphones firmly stuck in my ear holes. But one NYC swan is not me, and over the weekend, she turned a car on the J train into a regular Barbizon studio by blasting its walls with waves of eleganza and charisma!

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 18, 2019 / Posted by:

Shaq’s Mr. Big candy bar!

Cadbury has been selling the chocolate candy bar Mr. Big in Canada since the beginning of Canada’s time (Canada’s founding mother Celine Dion definitely bit into a Mr. Big after putting the Canadian flag on Canadian soil for the first time). It’s supposedly the biggest candy bar for sale in Canada, and Wikipedia claims it’s 8 inches long, but others claim it’s 12 inches long. Um, that’s a big difference, because any self-respecting size queen wouldn’t even think to strain their jaw by opening their mouths for something as teeny tiny as 8 inches! Why brother! Whatever the case may be, in the mid-90s, Cadbury decided to finally bring Mr. Big to the U.S. and they used Shaq to help them.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 17, 2019 / Posted by:

Malinda Herman, the Chihuahua serenader!

Whenever I open up the sound hole of doom below my nose to warble out a song, my Chihuahua also closes his eyes. But he closes his eyes to pray for the Grim Reaper’s cold embrace to envelope him and rescue him and his delicate ears from the nightmare tornado of pain whirling out of my mouth. But when Malinda Herman’s beloved Chi closes his eyes as she’s singing, he drifts off to a soothing wonderland where he lays on a sumptuous hammock made from the soft musical notes dancing out of his human’s mouth. Malinda Herman IS the Pied Piper of Chihuahuas (but without all the creepiness).

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 16, 2019 / Posted by:

The raccoon citizen of VendingMachineLand!

My mom worked nights and weekend at her hospital job a lot when I was a kid, and she’d take me with her often. I was always excited to go, because it meant two things: 1. I could play secretary (apologies to those I hung up on when answering the phone because I didn’t know how to transfer that shit) and 2. My mom would give me a couple of quarters to go wild at the vending machine. The vending machine was heaven in a box, and this raccoon lived my dream life for a quick second, because bitch got to live in one!

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