Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 25, 2019 / Posted by:

Twix Cookies-n-Creme!

For one highly magical moment in the early-90s, Mars Inc. decided to give the people a Twix bar that gorged itself on Oreos. I don’t know what happened in the early-90s, but it seems like everyone temporarily lost their sense of taste, which is why they didn’t buy Twix Cookies-n-Creme, causing Mars to take it off shelves after just one year.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 24, 2019 / Posted by:

The terrifyingly hilarious George Best bronze statue!

That Sloth from Goonies trying to hold in a sneeze while on meth statue (read: the Cristiano Ronaldo statue) and the Jeff Sessions in Granny drag while high on meth statue (read: the Lucille Ball statue) has gotten some company in the Bronzed Beauty Hall of Fame. Northern Irish football legend George Best was “honored” with a statue that was shown off to the public at Windsor Park in Belfast on May 22, which would’ve been his 73rd birthday (he died in 2005). Officials say it was supposed to be a George Best statue, but it looks more like George Worst, his Death Eater older brother who just smelled a rank fart… while high on meth.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 23, 2019 / Posted by:

Drumstick cereal!

Nearly 31 years after General Mills should’ve been charged with murdering deliciousness and sent to Death Row for discontinuing ┬áthe diabetes-summoning magic in a bowl called Ice Cream Cones cereal, they’re trying to right that horrible wrong by bringing us Drumstick cereal! Just in one year’s time alone, we’ve gotten Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros, the embarrassing fuck effort in milk called Peeps cereal, and Cotton Candy Cap’n Crunch. In possibly related news, one company that makes insulin just put out a half-priced generic version after publice pressure to control prices, so obviously they want more people to get the ‘betes. Yes, the cereal companies are in CAHOOTS with the insulin companies (just call me the gay Erin Brockovich, Erin Cockovich), which leads me to the latest bowl of diabetes conversion nuggets.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 22, 2019 / Posted by:

Smurf Vitamins!

If Google existed in the 1980s, one of the most Googled questions from parents would have been, “My stupid kid just swallowed the contents of an entire bottle of Flintstones vitamins, does this mean I have to take ’em to the ER? Please say no because I don’t want to miss my Knot’s Landing. DVRs don’t exist yet.” Flintstones ruled the delicious kids vitamin scenes in the olden days, but of course, many, many tried to get a piece of the game including The Smurfs! Continue reading

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 21, 2019 / Posted by:

The dog who is putting every tourist attraction in the world out of business!

According to Travel + Leisure, the top 5 most popular tourist attractions last year were:

5. The Eiffel Tower in Paris
4. The Louvre in Paris
3. The Statue of Liberty in NYC
2. The Vatican
1. The Colosseum in Rome

Well, all of those attractions had a good run, but they can now be bulldozed down to make way for luxury condos, because in 2019, the most visited tourist attraction will be The Sprawling Dog in Abkhazia!

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