Category: Hot Slut of the Day
The HSOTD Hall Of Fame: Abandoned Couch!
This Friday, Dlisted will hang a closed sign on its door after 18 years of spreading the industrial-strength fuckery, and yes, I’m still slightly in denial. And I’m the trick that brought this on! But Dlisted cannot say goodbye to the internet without paying tribute to one of its most popular and weirdest features: Hot Slut of the Day! For me, there are dozens of memorable HSOTDs who have permanently taken up residency in my brain, but I’ve managed to narrow it down to five for our Hot Slut Hall of Fame.
Our first inductee into the HSOTD Hall of Fame is a Hot Slut from 2008. It landed in my inbox as an HSOTD nomination from former regular commenter LA (shout out to LA!). Abandoned couch was… wait for it… wait for it.. an abandoned couch left on the curb in the 10000 block of West Victory Boulevard in North Hollywood. It made HEADLINES after a driver lost control of their car, flipped sideways, and landed on somebody’s memaw’s old couch. The driver wasn’t injured, and it was obviously thanks to Abandoned Couch! AC was a perfect HSOTD because it was smothered in pure glamour (see: its gold jacquard ensemble), and it was an unlikely hero. AC went on to become Hot Slut of the Week and Hot Slut of the Month but didn’t get the Hot Slut of the Year crown. That went to Spaghetti Cat. But former and current readers still bring up Abandoned Couch to me today, and some say it’s their favorite HSOTD in HSOTD history. Hopefully, Abandoned Couch has re-branded as Lounging Couch and is spending its retirement lounging on a beach somewhere. It deserves it!
Original HSOTD post from September 15, 2008:
Abandoned couch in North Hollywood, CA – This lonely couch saved a 30-year-old passenger in a car accident! The car just happened to land on the couch this way. Cops say the couch probably cushioned the blow. The passenger walked away without any injuries.
I need to show my lazy ass couch this story. It just lays there, feeding on my crumbs, when it really should be out in the world, saving others!
via Curbed
Pic: Flickr
Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Cockroach Who Upstaged Rihanna At Last Night’s Met Gala!
At last night’s Met Gala tribute to Karl Lagerfeld, guests were probably heard screaming, “That shameless Marjorie Taylor Greene has struck again and crashed the Met Gala,” and “I didn’t know Harvey Weinstein was out of prison!” Because a roach crashed the Aquafresh Toothpaste-looking carpet. And yes, I expect to be hit with a defamation lawsuit from the roach community for comparing them to those two. But while everybody was waiting for Rihanna’s always-late ass to grace the Met Gala with her glamorous presence, a roach hit the scene and instantly became the belle of the Met Gala ball.
Hot Slut Of The Day!
Ragù Express!
At the start of the aughts, Ragù, the grocery store tomato sauce that any Italian will tell you is as authentic as their Italian grandmother’s homemade sauce (served on a bed of spaghetti noodles made from pure sarcasm), decided to give Easy Mac a run for its lazy bitch money. Ragù Express was a gourmet Italian meal in a pouch that was ready to do the Mambo Italiano on tongues in just minutes, thanks to the microwave. Yes, so for a quick moment in the early 2000s, world-renowned Italian culinary master, Chef Boyardee, threw bitchy side-eyes at Ragù Express for trying to steal his quickie pasta crown.
Hot Slut Of The Day!
Crash, the one-eyed rescue cat who is the new Cadbury Bunny!
Mark March 21, 2023, as an extremely important date in cat history (HISStory?) because it’s the day a cat was named the Cadbury Bunny for the first time ever. So it looks like catmanity can go ahead and check off “claim the Cadbury Bunny title!” on their list of things to do during their impending world takeover. Crash, a one-eyed pussy from Boise, Idaho, has won the 2023 Cadbury Bunny Tryouts after beating out his competition! So all hail the new Cadbury Bunny Pussy!
Hot Slut Of The Day!
Tyco’s Zero Gravity Cliff Hangers (with Nite Glow) racing set!
During the Christmas season of 1988, my little gay ass was definitely asking Santa Claus to please, please, please put a Super Star Barbie or a Barbie and the Rockers doll underneath my Christmas tree. And as I was begging for a Barbie, the other boys in my class were begging for one of the IT toys of 1988: Tyco’s Zero Gravity Cliff Hangers racing set! Tyco’s Zero Gravity Cliff Hangers racing set wasn’t your basic slot car set (yes, “slot car,” so go ahead and call it today’s Hot Slot Of The Day!). The set not only took cars upside down, but it glowed in the dark! This toy was definitely responsible for a rise in blood pressure among kids in the 1980s because it was THAT thrilling.
Hot Slut Of The Day!
Ice Breakers Liquid Ice!
After I made Altoids Sours an HSOTD the other day, reader Maggie dropped another fresh breath artifact from the past, Ice Breakers Liquid Ice, into my inbox. Maggie remembered Ice Breakers Liquid Ice being from the 90s, and I did too. But we must be confusing Ice Breakers Liquid Ice for shady 90s breath legend Breath Asure. Because it wasn’t until the early aughts when Ice Breakers Liquid Ice started breaking mouths with its extra potent mintiness.