Night Crumbs
Seen above working a onesie made from the 70s wallpaper your auntie had in her kitchen for decades, Kelsea Ballerini hit at the country’s anti-drag laws while performing her song If You Go Down (I’m Goin’ Down To) at the CMT Awards. Kelsea brought out a gaggle of RuPaul’s Drag Race queens (Manila Luzon, Jan Sport, Olivia Lux, and Kennedy Davenport), and they all performed in front of a rainbow flag backdrop. The FCC and CMT definitely got a billion THINK OF THE CHILDREN complaints over this, but I’m sure some even called 911. “Hello, 911? This is an emergency! Chesly Ballerinas is pushing the gay agenda on live TV! Oh, sweet Jesus, my grandson just tapped his foot to her song. It’s giving him a case of twinkle toes and turning him into a homersexual before my very eyes. Lock her up now!” – The A.V. Club
Meanwhile, a real crime was committed at the CMT Awards last night when Gwen Stefani showed up looking like a lazy Robert Palmer impersonator whose legs are getting attacked by giant woolly bear caterpillars – Entertainment Tonight
Kourtney Kardashian Uses A Selena Gomez Song For Her Lemme Promo Video After Kylie Jenner And Hailey Bieber’s Feud With Selena
Clearly, Kris Jenner doesn’t have her business savvy hand in Kourtney Kardashian’s “wellness” brand Lemme as she does with all the other Koven business ventures. Because last year, Kourtney posted a beginner Photoshop promo of her jumping into the air while pooting out green powder. Um, Kourt, there’s an ointment for that. And now Kourtney’s back with another product promo that looks like it was shot on an iPhone. But when fans watched the Tik Tok video ad, they realized she used (prepare to GASP) a Selena Gomez song. The song is called “The Heart Wants What It Wants,” so maybe Kourt’s matcha powder-encrusted heart wants to side with Selena against her sister Kylie Jenner and Hailey Bieber in their never-ending feud?
Kaley Cuoco Gave Birth To Her First Child With Boyfriend Tom Pelphrey
Last October, Kaley Cuoco announced that she and actor Tom Pelphrey were expecting their first child together. Time passed, seasons changed, and Kaley posted loads of baby bump pics to her Instagram. Finally, last Thursday, Baby Cuoco-Pelfrey made her big Earth debut. People reports that it’s a girl and her name is Matilda Carmine Richie Pelphrey. No Cuoco in sight! I guess Kaley wanted to save her daughter from a life of having to correct everyone’s pronunciation: “It’s not Cocoa, it’s not Coo-oh-co, it’s KWOHCO! KWOHCO!!”
Open Post: Hosted By Sarah Polley Getting April Fool’d By Her 11-Year-Old Daughter With A Fake Letter Telling Her To Return Her Oscar
Saturday was April Fool’s Day, aka Prankster’s Christmas. Recent Oscar winner Sarah Polley has three kids, so she was always going to fall victim to some kind of prank; saran wrap in the doorway, toothpaste in the Oreos, loosening the top on the salt shaker, etc. But, this year, Sarah’s 11-year-old daughter, Eve, decided to kick things up a notch. Deadline reports that Eve sent her mom a fake letter from David Rubin, former president of the Academy, informing Sarah that her Oscar win for Best Adapted Screenplay was a mistake and she must return it. “David” writes that, in hindsight, the Academy should have told Sarah the moment they realized their error, but they did not want another “Year of the Moonlight.” Hey, I think a giant public fuck-up woulda made this year’s Oscars more interesting, but to each their own, David Rubin!
Drake Previewed A New Track Using A Sample Of Kim Kardashian’s Decision To Divorce Kanye West
Drake has taken some time out of his busy schedule of price-gouging tour tickets and getting face tattoos to potentially re-ignite his long-standing feud with Kanye West. In his new track, Rescue Me, Drizzy breaks out his lyrical Prozac of a voice to coo about how he’s tired of being in the club and he wants love…blah blah Zzzzzz. But instead of being his own miserable company, he placed a sample of Kim Kardashian‘s conversation about wanting a divorce from Kanye on the track as well, in hopes that this will serve as Kanye’s invitation to his pity party.
Reese Witherspoon Officially Filed For Divorce From Jim Toth, And They Have a Prenup
Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth–seen here giving “creepy couple who seemed to pop up everywhere you’d turn at a discount all-inclusive resort to insist on buying you a drink because they ‘saw you from across the bar and really liked your vibe’” realness–snuck in an end-of-the-week joint divorce announcement on Instagram just two Fridays ago after reportedly “growing apart.” And it looks like Reese is wasting no time getting rid of Jim and his midlife crisis jewelry; because she has already officially filed. They have a prenup in place, so the financial aspect might not get that messy.