Category: April Fools’ Day
Open Post: Hosted By Sarah Polley Getting April Fool’d By Her 11-Year-Old Daughter With A Fake Letter Telling Her To Return Her Oscar
Saturday was April Fool’s Day, aka Prankster’s Christmas. Recent Oscar winner Sarah Polley has three kids, so she was always going to fall victim to some kind of prank; saran wrap in the doorway, toothpaste in the Oreos, loosening the top on the salt shaker, etc. But, this year, Sarah’s 11-year-old daughter, Eve, decided to kick things up a notch. Deadline reports that Eve sent her mom a fake letter from David Rubin, former president of the Academy, informing Sarah that her Oscar win for Best Adapted Screenplay was a mistake and she must return it. “David” writes that, in hindsight, the Academy should have told Sarah the moment they realized their error, but they did not want another “Year of the Moonlight.” Hey, I think a giant public fuck-up woulda made this year’s Oscars more interesting, but to each their own, David Rubin!
Tori Spelling Claims The Press Is To Blame For Her April Fools’ Day Stunt
Shhhhh. Hush, y’all. What is that plaintive little wail? I think it’s coming from storage locker #88,663. Could it be the cases of CBD lube quivering in fear, knowing what grim fate awaits them when Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott rush in breathlessly to grab a few more jars and set about installing fetus #6 into her vacant womb cave for real this time? There it is again. This must be what it sounds like when doves cry.
On April 1st, Tori posted an ill-conceived Instagram stunt, in which she’d claimed her beleaguered uterus was blessedly hosting a new hatchling. This had some people’s knickers in a knot over what appeared to be a lack of sensitivity for the plight of those who have miscarried or cannot conceive. Well, unlike her default position for Dean’s mighty, seed-shooting peen, Tori isn’t taking these accusations lying down and claims her pregnancy announcement was a way to turn the tables on the press.
Tori Spelling Got Dragged For Announcing A Pregnancy On April Fools’ Day
Tori Spelling has built a very lucrative career off of having kids and making terrible decisions, so it should come as no surprise to anyone that a choice Tori Spelling made yesterday was to post a picture of a “bump” with the caption “No. 6.” Yesterday was April 1st, so a whole lot of people looked at Tori and wondered if she needed a refresher on the definition of the day. It’s April Fools’ Day, not Act a Fool Day, and that’s what some people accused Tori of when she posted that pregnancy announcement.
Surprise, Surprise, Michael Strahan Didn’t Close His Gap After All
Right before April Fools’ Day, Michael Strahan announced that he had closed the gap in his front teeth with the help of cosmetic dentist, Dr. Lee Gause of Smile Design Manhattan. Well, we can all rest easy today because Michael didn’t close his gap. It was just an April Fools’ prank. You got us good, Michael.
April Fools? Michael Strahan Closed The Famous Gap In His Teeth
There has never been a time in my life where I’ve looked at Michael Strahan‘s gap and thought to myself “Is that the Grand Canyon?” because his smile has always been a part of his charm. Unless you ask Kelly Ripa, who I’m sure wouldn’t mind giving him a few more gaps in his teeth by punching him in the face. But I digress, when you think of Michael you think of that gap. Well, Michael’s gap has gone on to glory. Or has it just gone into hiding until April 2nd?
BREAKING: Prince William Is The Last Living Bald-Headed Man On Earth
Well, looks like I’ll be busy all day writing obits for Stanley Tucci, Mark Strong, The Rock, Morris Chestnut, Jason Statham, Sir Patrick Stewart, Kelly Slater, Shemar Moore, Taye Diggs, Bruce Willis, Billy Zane, Boris Kodjoe, Common, Ed Harris, Michael Chiklis, LL Cool J, Corey Stoll, Danny DeVito, and Homer Simpson. Because it seems like they’re dead. Hell, if you’re a bald man who is reading this right now, guess what? You’re a ghost! It looks like Prince William is the only bald-headed man alive because some new study claims that he is the World’s Sexiest Bald Man. And no, this “study” was not conducted by the University of Trolling and The April Fools’ Day Gazette.