Since Emily Ratajkowski split from her 5 ‘clock shadowed predator (allegedly) ghost of an Elizabethan child–Sebastian Bear-McClard–last July, she’s been linked to a rapid parade of men. Most recently, she was spotted getting her face slurped on by Harry Styles in Tokyo on March 25–not too long after her and Eric Andre’s Valentine’s Day nude “draw me like one of your pick-me-ass-bitches” stunts. But according to what Emily said during an early March podcast interview, she and Harry might have already been dating for almost two months when they were papped making out.

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Long gone are the days when paying $600 for a single item of clothing means you won’t look like someone who sleeps in abandoned rail cars and flosses their teeth with hay. Case in point; Magnolia Pearl. No, she isn’t an old Southern Belle obsessed with the antebellum era, nor is she even a person. Magnolia Pearl is a line of hipster chic clothing affectionately referred to as “poverty core.” And do you know who coins terms like that? People who have never been poor a day in their life.  Yet ironically, over on TikTok the shade is rich and plentiful as some aren’t understanding what the big fuss is about.

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Last year, it was reported that Shakira was planning to move from Barcelona to Miami since she only really lived in Barcelona for the father of her two children, Gerard Pique, who plays football there. So now that her relationship with Gerard has exploded thanks to his wandering peen ways, she’s taking her and her kids to Miami to live full-time. It’s kinda like a reverse Eat Pray Love, to live out her new life as a single mother with her close friends and family after her messy split from Gerard Pique. And who knows if she’ll take her Balcony Witch with her or not. Probably not, since it’s rumored that Gerard Pique’s dad helped with Shakira’s decision to leave Barcelona by evicting her ass from the home she shared with her ex.

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Today in Hollywood Is Repeating Shit, Again news: the immensely successful Harry Potter may be getting a reboot series at HBO. The last Harry Potter movie, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2, was released in 2011. I guess Warner Bros. feels like a little over a decade is enough time to reboot the entire damn thing because that’s what they’re reportedly looking to do. And they’re trying to bring JK Rowling on as a producer. If the series happens and JK Rowling signs on, that means she may do press for the show. Well, I guess HBO Max executives all own stock in Tylenol since this could be one big giant PR headache disaster. 

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Gizelle Bryant is an OG of The Real Housewives of Potomac who’s probably been able to hold on for so long based on her occasional shady one-liners, her peen-passing pastor ex-husband, her deliciously tragic fashion and home design choices, and her drama-provoking friendship with cast mate, Robyn Dixon. The two ladies also have a podcast together called Reasonably Shady. Robyn pissed off Bravo fans and Andy Cohen by talking about her cheating husband debacle on it and directing listeners to pay for more details, and she and Gizelle both pissed off “Slim Shady” Eminem himself by trying to capitalize on the word “shady.” But now, Gizelle’s recent full use of the gay f-slur when discussing the Jussie Smollet fake hate crime mess has kicked up some controversy.

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