Do you smell that? No, seriously, you guys. Do you smell it? It’s a clip from the next episode of American Idol, where there’s a dramatique gas leak! But what you’re smelling isn’t gas, it’s the Oscar, Emmy, and Tony that Katy Perry deserves for giving the performance of the decade with her dramatic fall that’s making every past Oscar winner hand over their award to her like, “I’m not worthy of this.‘
But yes, American Idol’s still a thing, and the eighteenth season premiered last Sunday, with returning judges Katy Perry, Luke Bryan, Lionel Richie, and forever-host Ryan Seacrest. In a preview clip for this week’s episode, Katy complains about smelling gas, and no it wasn’t from Ryan cutting one.
News regarding the overpriced albatross (aka the revival of American Idol) has been all about how the payroll department at ABC apparently took a quaalude to sign off on paying Katy Perry $25 million when Lionel Richie got far less, but now producers are here to say the new show is going to be about the talent and finally creating a STAH. So that means taking away the only reason people were watching Idol. Continue reading
Lionel Richie’s skills as an American Idol judge are landing him about $15 million less than Katy Perry, a fucked financial move that still has Suze Orman hooked up to an oxygen tank. But that doesn’t mean he’s resting on his laurels. Lionel has a trademarked phrase, and he’s ready to print and sell it on anything that will sit still long enough! Continue reading
It appears Lionel Richie will complete the new American Idol triumvirate with Katy Perry and Luke Bryan, and it’s not soon enough! As in, filming starts Tuesday. Seriously, it was beginning to feel like it’d be easier to get Donald Trump to throw Hillary Clinton onto the Supreme Court judging panel than it was to find any music act to go on American Idol.
TMZ says Lionel is getting about $10 million to listen to pitchy blondes from Nebraska try and make it as a STAH! Luke is getting around $13 million. Ryan Seacrest is going to have $10-15 million to spend on blonde highlights. And we all know producers are breathing into a brown paper bag over spending $25 million on the Witness chanteuse. When Idol went off the air all of five minutes ago, one of the biggest gripes was how expensive it was to lure acts like Jennifer Lopez and Mariah Carey on the panel (“When I’m having a judging moment, it doesn’t come cheap, Daaaaaahling.” –Mariah). So ABC is doing a GREAT job at keeping things cheap and chintzy this time around!
The line-up could be announced as early as today, but a source close to production said it could get held up if lawyers start nitpicking details. Hmmm maybe details like how in FUCK is the man behind “We Are The World” and hump hit “Endless Love” worth $15 million less than the chick behind Kitty Purry??
I can’t believe it. The day I (and let’s face it, American Idol producers too, probably) thought wasn’t going to happen has happened. American Idol has found a second judge. Sure, they’re literally one week away from judging begins and they still don’t have a third, but let’s not get bogged down by inconvenient technicalities.
It’s been two years since we covered Luke Bryan, the country-fried tailgate party version of Tom Cruise. The last time we saw him he had taken a tumble off the stage and into my heart. Nothing makes me bust a gut like a famous person falling on their ass or face! Well, speaking of busting things at concerts, Luke took his angry little hands to a mouthy fan’s face at his concert on Wednesday.