Category: Won’t Somebody Please Think Of The Children

Chris Hemsworth And Elsa Pataky Are Getting Dragged For Dunking Their Kid’s Head On His Birthday Cake

March 21, 2023 / Posted by:

Mommy bloggers, assemble! Page Six reports that Chris Hemsworth and Elsa Pataky are getting dragged for their “violent” parenting prank. The couple has three kids: 10-year-old India Rose, and twin boys Tristan and Sasha, who turned nine this past weekend. To celebrate, 39-year-old Chris and 46-year-old Elsa got a chocolate birthday cake and shoved one of their sons’ (twins, impossible to identify) faces into it as a joke. Then Chris posted a pic of the stunt to Instagram, which was a big mistake, HUGE. Cuz people on the Internet have ‘pinions. And you bet your chocolate-covered face they’re gonna share ’em.

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Kanye West Is The Subject Of A Battery Investigation After Snatching A Photog’s Phone, And Kim Kardashian Scolded A Pap Who Asked Her About It In Front Of Her Kids

January 30, 2023 / Posted by:

Despite Kanye West being a boil on the ass of this nation (and Australia without even having stepped foot there), it seems like people are still eager to photograph and record him, most likely in an attempt to catch him acting the fool. On Friday, he did just that (again) when he walked up to the car of a photographer recording him, snatched her phone, and whipped it into the street. She reported the incident to the police, and Ye’s now being investigated for battery, so hopefully, there’s at least one lawyer out there somewhere he hasn’t completely repulsed yet. And though Kim Kardashian was probably secretly elated for him to continue to make her look like the more stable parent to their four children, she was noticeably irritated when a pap asked her to comment on the incident.

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Lil Nas X Might Collaborate With The Wiggles And Parents Are Pissed

January 5, 2023 / Posted by:

It’s been a while since Lil Nas X made headlines for corrupting the youths. That Satan lap dance was nearly two years ago. And his Grammy’s crotch grab was last spring. Is Lil Nas X losing his touch? Thankfully, the answer is no. A few days ago, the rapper posed for an Instagram pic with The Wiggles, and the mere suggestion that the Australian children’s music group might possibly collaborate with Nas sent concerned mothers into a tailspin. Won’t somebody please think of the children?!?

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Open Post: Hosted By The Restaurant In Singapore That Charges A Penalty For Screaming Children

September 27, 2022 / Posted by:

We’ve all been to a restaurant where someone’s obnoxious progeny has disturbed the entire dining room with their peals of shrieks while nearly tripping servers trying to deliver food as they scamper between tables in their quest to empty every sugar caddy and salt and pepper shaker in the joint. And while some parents take their disruptive kids outside to cool off and give the other patrons a break, too many just allow their evil spawns to continue their apeshittery, totally oblivious that every other human being in the restaurant wants them to get to-go boxes and piss off forever. A restaurant in Singapore finally decided that they’d had enough and has put a $10 “screaming children surcharge” in place and said they’ve had a decrease in rambunctious kids with inattentive parents.

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Sources Claim Angelina Jolie Is Trying To “Inflict Pain” On Brad Pitt By Requesting The FBI Report About Their 2016 Private Jet Fight Be Released To The Public

August 18, 2022 / Posted by:

If wearing a skirt on the red carpet of his Bullet Train premiere in Berlin earlier this summer was Brad Pitt’s plan-A to distract us from the imminent release of an FBI report Angelina Jolie initiated back in the stone age following the now infamous 2016 fight the couple had on their private jet that eventually led to Brad producing and starring in Six-Years a Divorcé, his plan-B seems to be calling People Magazine’s emergency PR crisis hotline and reminding them how many exclusives of his babies he’s signed off on for them over the years.

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A Judge Sided With Angelina Jolie And Ruled That Brad Pitt Must Turn Over Business Records For Chateaus Miraval Her Team Had Subpoenaed

July 25, 2022 / Posted by:

Advantage: Jolie! Page Six reports that in the never-ending tennis match between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, a judge has ruled that Brad, his company Mondo Bongo and his business manager must turn over the business records pertaining to Miraval wine that Angelina’s team has subpoenaed. In their previous Miraval Coup volleys, Brad had vehemently opposed Angie’s decision to sell her shares of the winery they bought together back in 2008 to a third party after the judge told her she was free to do so last year. But in June, Brad filed a motion accusing Angelina of intentionally trying to “inflict harm” on him by secretly selling her shares to a “stranger,” a wine group called Tenute del Mondo which turned out to be a subsidiary of Stoli, a brand Brad considers to be acting with “poisonous associations and intentions.” So much ado over a mid-range rose, you’d think Brad was saving lives one frosty glass of influencer juice at a time.

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