Remember when Jersey Shore used to be a bit of escapist fun that allowed us to mock a bunch of self-involved, bro’d and ho’d out ding dongs? Well, that reality show is over and a new kind of reality has taken over. The once fun loving JWoww, aka Jenni Farley, is now filled with rage. In a lengthy blog post on her website, Jenni shared video of her estranged husband, Roger Mathews, violently throwing her to the floor. She says she made the decision to share that private moment (as well as a number of recorded arguments, police reports, and text messages between her and the couple’s nanny) as self-defense against all the lies she alleges Roger has been spreading about her, claiming she will stop at nothing to keep him from his children, 2-year-old Greyson Valor, and 4-year-old Meilani Alexandra.
Now that her divorce with Brad Pitt has moved past the custody phase (I think? Like I don’t want to jinx her), Angelina Jolie is starting the follow-up struggle: recovering her tattered public persona. It’s hard to come out of a malicious divorce without looking like an evil bitch, and considering how many “sources” were popping up to spill some tea, Angie definitely didn’t. But here she is talking about her kids, so how can she be a bitch?
Yodeling caroler of that one Christmas song your ear buds will be bleeding to until December 25, Mariah Carey, is catching flack after she posted a video of her kids, Moroccan and Monroe, being groomed to take over backups of said song. People aren’t only upset that “All I Want For Christmas” will carry over to the next generation, they are pissed because the 7-year-old twins weren’t wearing seatbelts in the car while singing.
Ryan Murphy better pump the brakes and tell Sarah Paulson she can go back to eating carbs for the time being, because American Crime Story: The Child Army Trial isn’t a sure thing just yet. It seems there’s still a chance to avoid a Kramer Vs Kramer situation with People Magazine reporting that Angelina Jolie doesn’t actually want sole custody, and The Blast reporting that William Bradley Pitt is terrified about what a trial will do to the children. Which is huge because it means somebody actually has thought of the children! Knock me over with a feather. Better late than never.
Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that William Bradley Pitt is a fun and great dad! Despite the fact that his visits with his children are still monitored by Department of Children and Family Services, they are frequent and fun! According to Us Weekly, now that the temporary custody agreement he and Angelina Jolie barely agreed to is over, Brad spends quality time his brood every other day. The bad new is, Us claims their custody battle is “far from over” *sad trombone*.
Divorce attorney to the stars Laura Wasser is officially off Angelina Jolie’s payroll. I guess the dust has settled enough at this point where Angie felt she could catch a breath (the thready rasp of an injured bird) long enough to announce what everybody already knew. People confirms that Laura is no longer representing Angie and that San Francisco-based lawyer Samantha Bley Dejean, whom she brought in a month ago, will continue on as lead counsel. For the sake of the children, of course.