1.4 Million Copies Of Prince Harry’s Memoir “Spare” Were Sold In One Day, Breaking First Day Sales Records For Its Publishers

January 12, 2023 / Posted by:

The numbers are in and Prince Harry, I’m sorry, HRH INTERNATIONAL BEST SELLING AUTHOR Prince Henry Charles Albert David “Harold” Harry, Duke of Suffix, has a hit on his hands. Variety reports that Spare, Harry’s ghost-written memoir, has become the fastest selling book in all of Penguin Random House history, beating the first day sales of President Barack Obama’s memoir, A Promised Land, “selling 1.4 million copies in the U.S., U.K. and Canada on its first day of sales.” Old Barack looks pretty dumb right now. But that’s what he gets for skimping on the details about his junk. Had it leaked that Barry Jr. was going to make an appearance in APL, there wouldn’t have been enough paper on the planet to fulfill our needs. Printer, tissue, or otherwise!

Something for John Stamos to think about before his memoir rolls out later this year. Title suggestion: Stay Hard alt. title, Full House/Empty Balls. Variety reports:

Prince Harry’s jaw-dropping memoir “Spare” – which details his drug-taking, sex life and spats with members of the Royal Family – has sold an equally jaw-dropping 1.4 million copies in the U.S., U.K. and Canada on its first day of sales.

Penguin Random House said in a statement (first reported by People magazine): “Penguin Random House announced today the English language edition of ‘Spare,’ the memoir by Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex, sold more than 1,430,000 million units in all formats and editions in the United States, Canada and the U.K. on the first day of its publication, Tuesday, January 10, 2023.”

“The first full day of sales of ‘Spare’ represents the largest first-day sales total for any nonfiction book ever published by Penguin Random House, the world’s largest trade publisher.”

That’s great news for Harry, however — With great Sussex comes great responsibility. And that’s what ghostwriters are for. Harry’s ghostwriter, J.R. Moehringer, now has the inevitable task of defending their work against claims of “inaccuracies and historical errors.” Luckily, so far, it’s just been nitpicky stuff that J.R. caulks up to a blurry line between memory and fact, quoting famed memoirist Mary Karr, and others, and points to Harry’s own admittance that “my memory is my memory, it does what it does…and there’s just as much truth in what I remember and how I remember it as there is in so-called objective facts.” You know what they say, facts are like assholes: They stink!

In other words: Spare is HRT (his royal truth). J.R. directly addressed, among other things, the X-Box in the room that Harry remembers receiving for his 13th birthday in 1997. The X-box wasn’t released until 2001. In Spare, Harry says, and J.R. Writes that his mother Princess Diana’s death fucked with his memory. But not his money, bitches!

And it’s a FACT fact, not one of these “no-called” “facts,” that Harry didn’t start experimenting with drugs until after his mother died, so who is to say it wasn’t the grief that made him think that Britain’s fancy version of TJ Maxx, TK Maxx (their K stands for King, ours is J for José), used to have a yearly sale where he would cop his favorite Neo-Colonial Safari gear. The Telegraph reports:

He writes in Spare: “I was particularly fond of their once-a-year sale, when they’d be flush with items from Gap or J Crew”.

However, a spokeswoman for the retailer said: “Whilst we’re delighted Prince Harry is a big fan, we thought we should explain we don’t actually do sales. Instead, we offer great value, style, and savings all year round”.

A Royal biographer and historian has called the mistakes “quite serious”, adding that they “discredit” the Duke and his memoir.

Oh no, how will he survive if he’s been discredited? Do you know how many more books he’s going to have to sell if he hopes to break even? None? Really? You mean he’s already sold enough copies to keep his American wife and children in khakis and polo shirts for the rest of their lives? Well then. I have to be honest with you; it doesn’t really sound all that serious to me. It’s not like he lied and said that frostbite made his dick fall off, and when it grew back in, it was twice the size. And even if he did, I’d run out to Costco and buy a copy yesterday.

Pic: PA Images/INSTARimages.com/Cover Images

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