Kanye West And Jared Kushner’s Family Both Got Several Millions In Paycheck Protection Program Loans
A few days ago, apropos of nothing besides the obvious (an aggressively throbbing ego), Kanye West announced that he’s running for President of the United States this year, even though he hasn’t filed the paperwork yet. But Kanye running made perfect sense to me, considering his love for both dumb, impulsive decisions and misguided political apparel. But now it looks like Kanye has also picked up some shady business tips from his favorite president and some of his in-laws.
Yesterday, the Treasury Department and Small Business Administration disclosed the names of every business that got $150,000 or more through the Paycheck Protection Program, the Trump administration’s COVID-19 stimulus program. And wouldn’t you know it, but apparently everyone’s favorite Christian Genius Billionaire – accent on the billionaire – reportedly accepted between $2 and $5 million. And Jared Kushner, son-in-law of Trump, allegedly made sure his family nabbed between $1 and $2 million for a school connected to their charity.
If this is your first real introduction to Tavi Gevinson, then here’s what you need to know. She’s a 24-year-old blogger-turned-magazine editor-turned-actress-turned aggrivating pebble in Karlie Kloss’ size 9 Dior heels. Tavi’s personal brand includes calling out bullshit where she sees it on social media, and she recently caught a whiff of something stinky and fetid coming from Karlie’s attempt at a Black Lives Matter post. According to Tavi, Karlie has a lot of “nerve” preaching a message of anti-racism when she has yet to denounce the politics of her brother-in-law and sister-in-law, Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump.
Big yikes for liberal-minded Karlie Kloss who is married to Joshua Kushner, the brother to Ivanka Trump’s husband Jared Kushner. But Karlie doesn’t care about familial relations–she said she voted against Trump in 2016 and she sure as shit will do the same in 2020.
Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan are going to have to take a temporary break from relating to regular people, because Us Weekly says they’re in Rome for a wedding. And it’s not a regular people wedding with watered-down bar rail drinks, a DJ bumping LMFAO, and $49.99 toasters from Target. It’s a big, fancy, star-studded affair in Rome hosted by Meghan’s fashion designer BFF Misha Nonoo and her millionaire oil heir fiancé Michael Hess.
Kim Kardashian is really taking her new job as savior of black people seriously, guys. Not only did she free Alice Johnson but she’s also been working really hard on prison reform which results (if she was even responsible for any of them) have been overwhelmingly meh and she’s becoming a lawyer too!
Kim’s latest missing is saving A$AP Rocky from Swedish jail by getting the White House to intervene! But it’s weird because the Swedish prosecutors–the ones in charge of that decision–are like, “Hmm, this is news to me.”
Kendall Jenner’s one time special friend, A$AP Rocky, is still wasting away in a Swedish jail two weeks after getting arrested for aggravated assault. We should have known it wouldn’t be too long before The Moses of Calabasas, Kim Kardashian, would use her connections to The White House to intervene on his behalf. According to TMZ, Kanye West urged Kim to contact her good friend Jared Kushner who in turn alerted the President Of The United States about Rocky’s situation. Upon learning of Rocky’s plight (and probably after checking to see if he’d ever publicly criticized him), Donald Trump reportedly acknowledged that “something seemed amiss”. Considering Rocky’s own lawyer disputed that he was being held in inhumane conditions, some might say all of this is overkill. But Rocky is reportedly being held without a television! UPDATE: He probably does have a TV.