There must have been some kind of climate summit going on in the Caribbean over the holidays because Lauren Sanchez wasn’t the only person to counterbalance her St. Barts yacht excursion over New Year’s by posting about a pet environmental cause on Instagram immediately after. Page Six reports that eco/panty-warrior Captain Leonardo DiCaprio and his First Mate Lukas Haas, known affectionately within the Pussy Posse as “little buddy,” also spent New Year’s Eve partying on and in the waters surrounding St. Barts with Lauren, Jeff Bezos, and a plethora of other folks who must have had a lot of PTO on the books to spare. Thanks to these brave men and women who have devoted their lives to saving our precious environment, we now know that 26,000 rainforest and Eucalyptus trees have been planted onsite at Mongo Valley Wildlife Sanctuary in Australia and that Leo likes to nibble the celery in his poolside Bloody Mary like an adorable little koala bear!
Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde are still a thing, and this week they were photographed kissing, dancing, cuddling, and, of course, gallivanting (their specialty!) on a yacht in Tuscany, Italy. The papped PDA comes a week after Olivia’s ex Jason Sudeikis went public in New York City with his (rumored) new girlfriend Keeley Hazell. So everyone’s jealous, everyone’s banging, everyone’s hot and rich. Ahhh, la dolce vita!
During the last few days of 2020, 64-year-old David Simpson was thrown overboard from his yacht. And no, he didn’t sweep up onto shore before Kurt Russell fraudulently claimed him as his wife. Instead of that, David climbed onto a beacon of hope and waited for hours to be rescued. If that’s not something we can all sympathize with during this shitstorm of a year, I don’t know what is.
Tom Brady And Gisele Bündchen Are Setting Sail For “Billionaire’s Bunker” In Miami On Their New $2 Million Yacht
The uber-rich really got it made in the shade right now! It’s a fucking great time to be criminally wealthy in America what with all the government hand-outs and profiteering off the unprecedented number of poor people suffering from the economic, physical, and emotional effects of the coronavirus pandemic. And there is no time like the present to flaunt. That. Shit! As such, Page Six reports that Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen just dropped $17 million for a house on Indian Creek Bunker in Miami, also known as “billionaire’s bunker,” where Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump just bought a plot. I know, just $17 million! What a steal. That’s because it’s a tear down.
The only thing more mortifying than getting a full-color back tattoo in response to a midlife crisis is finding out your decades younger girlfriend of three months might actually be a prostitute. But you try telling that to 50-year-old Skeet Ulrich, who, after quietly breaking up with his girlfriend, 29-year-old Australian model Megan Blake Irwin, publicly accused her of being a prostitute in answer to a fan’s comment on an Instagram post asking why they broke up. He didn’t have to do that! At least Ben tried to hide that shit. But as with all things Skeet Ulrich, transparency is paramount. It’s just one of those things everybody knows about him!
Put down your rosaries, folks! Because 77-year-old billionaire music mogul David Geffen is sailing through this whole coronavirus thing. And he wants you to know (people must have been asking, I guess?) that he has been and will continue to remain safe by staying inside. Now, when I say inside, I mean inside one of the countless luxury suites on his private yacht. Oh, billionaires! They’re just like us.