What’s that common saying about getting over an ex? Something like, the best way to get over your ex-wife is to hook up with the actress from Uncut Gems and immediately do a weird interview about it? Yeah, I believe it’s something like that. After we first learned that 44-year-old Christian egomaniac Kanye West had gone on several dates with 31-year-old Julia Fox, Julia herself decided to confirm the rumors by writing a piece for Interview magazine about her dates with Kanye, complete with – and forgive me for describing it as such – a sexy photoshoot orchestrated by Kanye for their second date. Yeah, strap in – Horny Boyfriend Kanye is back.
Usually, when two famous people decide to debut themselves as a couple, they post a cheesy Instagram picture, or they’re photographed by a helpful paparazzi strolling hand-in-hand along a beach. But Kanye isn’t your regular old attention whore. No sir, Kanye gets creative when it comes time to show off his latest lady. Yesterday, Interview published a cringey piece called “Date Night.” Julia writes that she met Kanye on New Year’s Eve in Miami, and they instantly hit it off. What, like you haven’t ever celebrated a week of casually dating someone by calling up a national periodical and asking them to publish your diary entry about it? via Interview:
“His energy is so fun to be around. He had me and my friends laughing, dancing, and smiling all night. We decided to keep the energy going and fly back to New York City to see Slave Play. Ye’s flight landed at six and the play was at seven and he was there ON TIME. I was impressed. After the play we chose to do dinner at Carbone which is one of my favorite restaurants. Obviously.”
Obviously! But that part about Kanye’s energy being so fun to be around. Are we all talking about the same Kanye here? Because the Kanye I know looks like the type of person to stare into your soul with 800 lumens of judgment if he thinks you’re wearing something from the mall. Actually, that might explain this next part. Julia says that during dinner, Kanye art directed a photoshoot with Julia, in the middle of the restaurant, while a whole bunch of poor unwilling customers were forced to participate in Kanye’s narcissism happening. Then, after dinner, they went back to a hotel where Kanye dressed his new muse up in clothing he hand-picked, like some kind of heavily discounted, delusion-sponsored version of Phantom Thread. via Interview:
“I mean, I’m still in shock. Ye had an entire hotel suite full of clothes. It was every girl’s dream come true. It felt like a real Cinderella moment. I don’t know how he did it, or how he got all of it there in time. But I was so surprised. Like, who does things like this on a second date? Or any date!”
Who does that? Well, a rich weirdo, for starters. People with major control issues. Men who confuse women for their own personal Barbie dolls. So essentially, Kanye West. Kanye West would do that. You’re dating Kanye West, Julia.
Julia finished her piece by saying that everything between herself and Kanye so far has been “so organic,” and that she doesn’t know what the future holds, but that she’s “loving the ride.” Here are several examples of Kanye and Julia on their second-date photo shoot, being about as organic as a McDonald’s chicken nugget: