Category: Duchess Kate
Prince Philip Has Been Laid To Rest
A week after Prince Philip, THE QUEEN’s husband and companion of 73 years, died at 99, he was laid to rest in St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle. And well, I should’ve expected this, but I caught a case of the sad feelings in the heart area from seeing THE QUEEN sitting all alone inside the chapel. Couldn’t someone have soothed the sads a bit by handing her one of her new Corgi puppies, all dressed in mourning black?!
The Royal Family Is Not Racist, So Says Prince William
Well, everyone, case closed! Racism does not exist in the Royal Family! Prince William has said so! I guess this also means that the sky is not blue, water is not wet, bears do not shit in the woods, and P. Willy’s got a head full of luscious locks and he’s been wearing a bald cap this entire time!
William and Duchess Kate did one of their hand-shaking elbow-bumping events today, and a reporter asked him a couple of questions including if the Royal Family is racist. William should’ve just pretended that the question got lost in the wind and never made it into his earholes, but instead, he answered it, saying that they’re not racist. As the laugh track was cued up, Princess Michael of Kunt’s racist brooch probably threw the most scathing side-eye, and Prince Philip’s ears burned something extra after hearing the words “racist” and “royal” while in his hospital bed.
Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Really Did Tell All During Their CBS Interview With Oprah
Last month, when writing about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s interview with Oprah Winfrey for CBS, I joked that the Royal Family didn’t have to stress, because the biggest, most exclusive revelation to come out of that no-holds-barred interview would probably be about latte preference. Much to the chagrin of the Royal Family and their die-hard fans, Oprah’s interview aired last night. And the reality of the situation is that today I’m on hold with my doctor discussing pain management for muscle strain. Because much like Oprah, my jaw was dropped for the entire 2-hour interview. Just call them the Duke and Duchess of Sussexposing The Firm.
Prince William And Duchess Kate Are Reportedly “Appalled” About Prince Harry And Meghan Markle’s Upcoming Interview With Oprah
On March 7th, CBS will air a 90-minute tell-all interview that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle did with Oprah Winfrey. It’s their first big TV interview since announcing that they were high-tailing it out of the UK and away from their positions as senior members of the Royal Family. I’m sure a whole lot of people are going to watch with bated breath to see what Harry and Meghan have to say, or whether they just spend the entire 90 minutes exhaling massive sighs of relief that their escape plan worked. But two people who likely won’t be tuning in are Prince William and Duchess Kate, who will be doing their own deep breathing, but theirs will be the kind to lower their heart rate to help calm them down from being so absolutely horrified by that interview.
Meghan Markle Shuts Down The “Offensive” Claim That She Changed Her Name On Her Son’s Birth Certificate
Here I was thinking that birth certificate drama was so 2008, but over the weekend there was drama over the birth certificate of Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle’s 1-year-old son Master Archie. The Sun reported that Meghan’s full name was originally on her son’s birth certificate, but that she and Prince Harry later took a Magic Eraser to her full name and did it on the shush. The Sun then tried to stir up the lukewarm feud between Meghan and Duchess Kate by saying that the birth certificate move might have been a dig at Kate and Prince William. But Meghan popped up to both spit at The Sun and side-eye the Palace over the birth certificate change. And before you throw a COVID-protecting Hazmat mask at Detective La Toya Jackson and tell her to get herself to England to investigate this royal mystery, a Palace source called the change an oops.
Prince William And Duchess Kate Have Been Accused Of Breaking COVID Rules At A Christmas Event
Fresh off from getting shit for their taxpayer-funded train tour during a pandemic and for keeping their faces mask-free during a red carpet photo-op with their entire family, Prince William and Duchess Kate are now getting head shakes and tsk-tsks over breaking one of Britain’s COVID rules. Britain’s COVID rules state that different households can get together but the group can not be made up of more than six humans. And on Sunday night, William, Kate, and their three children (7-year-old Prince George, 5-year-old Prince Charlotte, and 2-year-old Prince Louis) met up with P. Willy’s uncle, Prince Edward, and his wife Sophie, Countess of Wessex and their two children (17-year-old Lady Louise and 13-year-old James, Viscount Severn). Since I have a Ph.D. in math (read: I used a Little Professor once), I know that five plus four equals…. *counts on fingers* NINE, which is more than six, which means that they all broke the rules, which means the dungeon for them all!