Last month, when writing about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s interview with Oprah Winfrey for CBS, I joked that the Royal Family didn’t have to stress, because the biggest, most exclusive revelation to come out of that no-holds-barred interview would probably be about latte preference. Much to the chagrin of the Royal Family and their die-hard fans, Oprah’s interview aired last night. And the reality of the situation is that today I’m on hold with my doctor discussing pain management for muscle strain. Because much like Oprah, my jaw was dropped for the entire 2-hour interview. Just call them the Duke and Duchess of Sussexposing The Firm.
The interview opened with Meghan telling us what we already learned from the trailers, which is that she was silenced from publicly defending herself while working as a senior Royal. But that was just the tip of the ice teaberg. Here’s what we learned from the most dramatic exit interview ever conducted.
Meghan and Harry confessed that they actually got secretly married three days before their big TV wedding on May 19, 2018. The Archbishop of Canterbury married them in secret so that they could say meaningful vows to each other instead of the standard by-the-book ones.
And any happiness they had on their wedding day quickly disappeared after the reality of being married into the Royal Family set in. Meghan described her existence as super lonely, saying that there was a time she only left her house two times over a four-month period after one member of the Royal Family allegedly told her to “lay low” because she was “too saturated” in the media. With nothing to do but sit inside, staring at the walls, and knowing that she couldn’t say a word while the British press was picking apart everything down to her nail polish, Meghan went to a dark place mentally. And when she reached out for help, The Firm let her know that there was nothing they could do. via Hello! magazine:
Meghan heartbreakingly admitted that she had such a difficult time that she “didn’t want to be alive”, and that she struggled to tell Harry how she was feeling. She said: “It was a very real and frightening constant thought. I remember that he just cradled me, and I went to the institution and I said I needed to go somewhere and get help, and I was told that I couldn’t, because it wouldn’t be good for the institution.”
Speaking of their wedding, remember how one of the loudest pieces of gossip surrounding their wedding was how American Mean Girl Bully Meghan allegedly made poor sweet Duchess Kate cry during a flower girl dress fitting? Meghan says it was actually the other way around. And please note, Meghan doesn’t hate Kate; she actually claims Kate has apologized and everything is all good. Meghan’s issue is with how The Firm never corrected people on the details of the story:
“There wasn’t a confrontation and I don’t think it’s fair to her to get into the details of that because she’d apologized and I’d forgiven her. What’s hard to get over is to get blamed over something I didn’t do, and that actually happened to me. I’m not saying it to be disparaging to her…I would have hoped that she would have wanted that corrected…She’s a good person.”
Meghan continued to point out that any hate Kate might have gotten, like when the press called her “Waity Katy” (the implication being that she was waiting to marry Prince William), isn’t the same, because “rude and racist are not the same.”
"Kate was called Waity Katie, waiting to marry William, while I imagine that was really hard & I do… this is not the same & if a member of his family will comfortably say we've all had to deal with things that are rude. Rude & racist are not the same." —Meghan #OprahMeghanHarry pic.twitter.com/2QWtDh24ef
— CBS This Morning (@CBSThisMorning) March 8, 2021
Also still in Meghan’s good books is Harry’s grandmother, Queen Elizabeth. Both Harry and Meghan had nothing but nice things to say about The Queen, with Harry adding that his gran was always fully up to speed on his plans to step away from the Royal Family. So, no blindsiding. Meghan says she always had a nice relationship with Queen Elizabeth, and that she was always “wonderful” to Meghan. So the Queen is not who Meghan was talking about when she mentioned that someone in the Royal Family had concerns over how dark their unborn baby’s skin color would be:
— People (@people) March 8, 2021
When Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor was born, it was reported that he wouldn’t be given a fancy royal title because Harry and Meghan were down-to-earth types who wanted Archie to be raised just like any “ordinary” kid. Now we’re learning that maybe it had more to do with some racist ghoul at the palace asking a servant to slip into the kitchen supply closet and fetch a paper bag. Meghan wouldn’t say who kept bringing up the potential shade of Archie’s skin. Princess Michael of Kent just looked around nervously.
So with that being said, no one should be that surprised that Harry and Meghan wanted the fuck out. And when they decided to leave, they did so only with some money left to Harry by his mother, Princess Diana. Harry denied the rumor that his father, Prince Charles, funded their move to Montecito. Harry says the money left to him by his mother was the only way they could escape. They also acknowledged Tyler Perry’s involvement in this, who they say not only loaned them a place to stay, but also gave them the real-life Madea’s Witness Protection experience by paying for their security detail when they arrived in the US.
All this led up to a conversation about Charles and William, who might be the villains of The Crown, should Netflix announce a surprise 7th season. Prince Charles allegedly stopped answering the phone when Harry called:
Prince Harry admitted that he had conversations with his father, Prince Charles, about taking a step back from the royal family “before he stopped taking my calls”. He added that he believes Charles stopped taking his calls because Harry took the situation into his own hands after seeing how it was affecting his family.
Prince Harry revealed that the royal family cut him off in the first quarter of 2020 and that they looked for new opportunities to be able to fund security.
“But they only know what they know – or what they’re told – and I’ve tried to educate them in the process that I’ve been educated.”
Harry added that he believes his father and brother are “trapped” in a toxic environment and that he too was trapped until he met Meghan, who opened his eyes to how messed up the system was. And I’ll just leave this little bit of backstory here. Around the time that Harry and Meghan announced they were stepping down as senior royals, their journalist friend Tom Bradbury explained that it was likely because of “bad personal splits,” and that, “a lot of harsh things were said around the time of the wedding. And it’s gone a bit too far.” Too far, you say? Oh, like what? Starting every conversation with a prediction about their future baby’s skin color? Don’t worry Tom, I think we can figure it out on our own.
There was a bit of good news that came out of their interview, and that was the revelation that Meghan is currently pregnant with a baby girl. They also shared a video of Archie running on the beach.
— michelle (@ddarveyy) March 8, 2021
Of course, in the hours after the interview, Twitter lit up with a million opinions on Harry and Meghan’s interview. Some were happily hating on Charles. Angry Piers Morgan-types were accusing Meghan of putting on an award-winning acting performance.
Charles and William haven’t had anything to say, which means they could be crafting a rebuttal, or maybe they didn’t even watch the interview, because their staff helpfully trapped them in a room without access to television or wifi, in order to keep them nice and ignorant. But likely, the Royal Family didn’t like what they heard. Well, except Prince Andrew. He probably loved every minute of it. He probably sent them a thank-you bouquet first thing this morning.
“My sincerest thanks! Everyone has been so busy guessing if I’m the racist that they haven’t had time to guess if I’m a pedo! Very much appreciated!“