Gwyneth Paltrow Testified At Trial That She Lost A Half Day’s Worth Of Skiing

March 27, 2023 / Posted by:

Day five of Caucasian Court TV’s highest-rated show, The Cashmere Yeti: Vengeance at Deer Valley, is underway and earlier today we heard testimony from Terry Sanderson, the 76-year-old retired optometrist who claims that his life was ruined after Gwyneth Paltrow sent him “absolutely flying” when she skied into him from behind at the Deer Valley Resort in Park City, Utah in 2016. Terry claims to have suffered permanent brain damage that has turned into an unlikable person and robbed him of his ability to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, like wine tasting. On Friday, Gwyneth took the stand and claimed that it was Terry who skied into her that day, and as a result, she “lost half a day of skiing.” She did not, however, blame him for her personality or her inability to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, like food tasting.

Not only did Gwyneth lose precious time on the slopes, but she may also have lost the respect of her peers. According to Page Six, fellow parched blond mother of two, Busy Philipps, “poked fun” at Gwyneth’s loss when she “posted a serious Instagram selfie” with a pal and what “appeared to be two espresso martinis” under the caption “Well, we lost a half day of skiing.” And Busy wasn’t the only person online to make light of Gwyneth’s plight.

Let us pray that Gwyneth is made of sturdier stuff than Terry and will somehow carry on with the ability to enjoy her intravenous feedings intact. As we know, Terry is suing Gwyneth for $300,000. Yet in her largess, Gwyneth is countersuing for a mere $1 and to have her legal expenses paid. The latter of which presumably will include the costs associated with flying her husband, Brad Falchuk, and her two children, Moses and Apple, to Utah to testify on her behalf, as well as the costs associated with deposing a “slate of dueling medical experts” to “undercut testimony from neurologists, radiologists and psychologists hired by Sanderson’s team.” Here’s Terry’s side of the story, according to the AP:

On Monday, Sanderson recalled a screaming woman skiing into him and hitting him between the shoulder blades with her fists and poles as he tried to shield his head.

“All I saw was a whole lot of snow. And I didn’t see the sky, but I was flying,” Sanderson said, calling it “a serious smack.”

Sanderson said he remembered a man in a Deer Valley Resort ski suit come up afterward and instead of offering help, angrily blaming him for the collision.

The hourlong testimony at times brought Sanderson to tears, particularly when he appeared not to be able to focus or remember things — in a way that dovetailed his legal team’s claim that the crash permanently damaged his brain. They have also argued it hurt relationships with his loved ones, including his daughters.

“Something’s wrong in my essence and what I bring to the table with them” since the crash, Sanderson said.

Don’t laugh. This is very serious. Gwyneth’s attorney got a nosebleed from the altitude!

Of course, everyone is entitled to seek justice when they feel they’ve been wronged. But I can’t help but think how many IVs the Park City Food Bank could buy with the dollars spent on this trial. How much could a banana bag cost, anyway? $10?

Pic: Twitter

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