Four Suspects Have Been Charged In Connection With Kim Kardashian’s Robbery

January 13, 2017 / Posted by:

Kris Jenner must be changing her Spanx every 20 minutes due to all the attention-triggered pee dribbles she’s been letting out over this week. First there were the arrests, and now there are charges. I bet she’s already contacted Ryan Murphy and asked how much he’d pay for the exclusive rights to a little script she’s thrown together called American Krime Story: Kim vs. The Jewelry Thieves. “And if you need someone to play the lead role, I’ve been told I’m a dead ringer for Kim!

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The World Will Not Be Further Traumatized By The Image Of Joseph Fiennes As Michael Jackson

January 13, 2017 / Posted by:

When it was first announced early last year that Joseph Fiennes was going to play Michael Jackson in some British TV thing about the rumored magical road trip that MJ, Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando went on after the 9/11 attacks, there was outrage over a white actor doing blackface, err whiterface, to play MJ. But Sky Arts went through with the fuckery anyway and the result gave us the retina-burning sight of Joseph Fiennes looking like a melting white chocolate Kinder egg in a $1.99 wig.

A quick minute after Sky Arts released the trailer for Urban Myths, Michael Jackson’s daughter Paris Jackson said on Twitter that it grossed her out and left her highly offended. The outrage from Michael Jackson’s family was enough for Sky Arts to torch that episode of Urban Myths along with that prosthetic mask Joseph Fiennes wore.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 13, 2017 / Posted by:

Pete Parkkonen, the yodeling sex god of Finland!

I doubt that your loins have fully recovered from quivering themselves raw while watching #SaltBae sensually salt a big piece of meat, and it doesn’t look like they’re going to fully recover anytime soon thanks to today’s crotch seizure-inducing HSOTD. Pete Parkkonen sounds like the Finish version of Peter Parker and well, he will make ALL of your senses tingle with hot day-shift Chippendale’s dancer moves, fuck-me eyes, greasy nipples and luscious Fabio mane.

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Birthday Sluts

January 13, 2017 / Posted by:

Orlando Bloom (40)
Natalia Dyer (20)
Tyler Henry (21)
Liam Hemsworth (27)
Beau Mirchoff (28)
Julian Morris (34)
William Hung (34)
Ginger Zee (36)
Jill Wagner (38)
Ross McCall (41)
Michael Peña (41)
Nicole Eggert (45)
Atoosa Rubenstein (45)
Shonda Rhimes (47)
Traci Bingham (49)
Patrick Dempsey (51)
Penelope Ann Miller (53)
Trace Adkins (55)
Julia-Louis Dreyfus (56)

Matthew Bourne (57)
Janet Hubert (61)
Jay McInerney (62)
Richard Moll (74)
Nick Clooney (83)
Rip Taylor (83)
Frances Sternhagen (87)

Pic: Andy Gotts/TimeOut

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