Foot Alert! There ARE Dirty Feet In The New “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood” Trailer

/ May 21, 2019

Foot fetishists rejoice (podophobiacs recoil)! Unlike in the previous trailer, Foot Fucker In Chief Quentin Tarantino paid lipservice to your kink and shoehorned a pair of plump N’ grubby Flintstone feet into the new full length trailer for Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. And everybody, footsuckers included, can breathe a sigh of relief because the feet in question don’t belong to Lena Dunham. As far as we know, the only naked Dunham moment in this production was the time she lifted her skirt and gave William Bradley Pitt the scare of his life. And as we know, Brad don’t scare easy.

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Every Single Dressbarn Store Is Closing

/ May 21, 2019

In the near future, malls and strip malls will only be filled with Starbuckseseseseses (yes, that’s plural for Starbucks), money laundering places fronting as cell phone case stores, and Bath & Body Workseseseseses (again, that’s plural for Bath & Body Works). We already lost the reasonably priced emporium of elegance ensembles that was Charlotte Russe, and now we’re losing Dressbarn, which if you’re not familiar with, sells dresses to humans and doesn’t sell dresses to horses, pigs, cows, and chickens. Although, now I really want to go to a store that sells dresses to chickens.

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Kim Kardashian Got All “I Need To Speak To The Manager” With Jack In The Box On Twitter 

/ May 21, 2019

Since Kim Kardashian is full of herself (which is saying a lot since she’s full of plastic), she decided to publicly call out Jack In The Box on Twitter and start a mystery beef (which is what Jack In The Box puts between two buns), knowing full well how much attention it will bring her. She also brought on the biggest question: KIM KARDASHIAN EATS AT JACK IN THE BOX?!

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Mel B Went Temporarily Blind, But Pretty Much Slams The Report That It’s Due To Herpes

/ May 21, 2019

Before I went to bed last night, I read the headline: Mel B “Doing Fine Now” Following Treatment After Herpes Infection Rendered Her Blind. I thought that well, if you’re going to suffer through the horrible and terrifying fuckery of eyeball issues, it may as well be from something fucked-up yet interesting like HERPES. Unlike me, whose eyeball issues are from just shitty genetics.

But Mel B says that yes, it’s true that her vision is going through it, but it doesn’t seem like it’s because of Coachella’s #1 parting gift: herpes. And the Spice Girls (Minus Posh) reunion tour will go on!

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Olivia Jade Reportedly Wants To Return To USC

/ May 21, 2019

Even before the feds screamed, “Freeze, rich dirtbags!“, at her parents, anyone who followed Olivia Jade Giannulli knew she didn’t want to be a college student. She said wanted to go to USC for the same reason anyone with a thirst for a Solo cup filled with Malibu does: the parties. But when it came to the “student” part of being a college student, she wasn’t into it.

Olivia hasn’t officially been kicked out of USC; her academic status is currently under review while her parents, Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli, face prison time and multiple charges for their role in the college admissions scandal. An extended, possibly-permanent hiatus from school sounds like Olivia’s dream, but according to one source that spoke to Us Weekly, she’s “begging” to go back.

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Sophie Turner Thinks The Petition To Remake The Final Season Of “Game Of Thrones” Is “Disrespectful”

/ May 21, 2019

The Game Of Thrones series finale was a huge success… if all you care about is numbers. If you’re worried about fan-reaction or execution, well then, you may want to critique the success/failure ratio a bit differently. But back to the numbers. HBO scored the highest multi-platform tune-in with the show across its HBO network and its streaming services, HBO Go and HBO Now. In total, the series finale brought in a whopping 19.3 million nerds viewers for the final show.

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