Everyone knows I’m a jeans and t-shirt kind of dude so whenever I hear anything about fashion I feel like Anne Hathaway in the first half of The Devil Wears Prada. And no, the makeover never happens. I’m pretty much Anne Hathaway all the time. However, I’m smart enough to understand that the news of fashion icon Rihanna gearing up to unleash a new fashion house under the powerful luxury group LVMH is a huge deal.
Elon Musk has been going through it. He was charged with securities fraud and had to step down as chairman of his Tesla, also broke up with his girlfriend, and remember he called that cave rescuer a pedo? Oh yeah, and stock prices for Tesla plummeted when he smoked weed with uber bro, Joe Rogan. All in all, he’s giving a pretty good showing if he’s trying to show us how badly he can fuck up. And the bad news keeps coming, as it’s now being reported Tesla investors are going after Elon for his “funding secured” tweet and they are looking to Grimes and Azealia Banks for all the hot tea.
So it’s been a minute since this was in the headlines, but you’ll probably remember the familiar sensation of your skin crawling as you read this and it’ll all come back to you.
Voice-over god, who once actually played God, Morgan Freeman, was surrounded by rumors that he was going to marry his step-grand daughter E’Dena Hines back in 2009, whom he had raised with his first wife since childhood. That (thankfully) never happened, but something awful did happen in 2015. E’Dena was found stabbed to death on the streets of NYC with her ex standing over her body, screaming incoherently. In case that wasn’t enough to make your skin ask for a ticket on the first plane off your body, we have an update: E’Dena’s killer has been sentenced. And the hearing brought out close friends: Ick and Drama.
The classic Garfield glass mugs from McDonald’s!
If you’ve done your will, then I’m sure you nearly flattened your brain and split every nerve while going on a roller coaster of emotions as you tried to figure out who to pass down your treasured set of Garfield glass mugs to. Hopefully you made the right decision and stated in your will that you want to donate them to the Louvre or the MET. Because those Garfield glass mugs are too precious and priceless for your relative’s dirty ass lips to touch ’em while drinking La Croix or something just as unworthy out of ’em.
Becca Tobin (33)
Benji Schwimmer (35)
Samantha Mumba (36)
Joanna Newsom (37)
Jason Segel (39)
Jay Chou (40)
Burnie Burns (46)
Jason Gray (47)
Jonathan Davis (48)
DJ Quik (49)
Jesse L. Martin (50)
Jane Horrocks (55)
Shelly Miscavige (58)
Mark Rylance (59)
Tom Bailey of The Thompson Twins (63)
Kevin Costner (64)
Ted DiBiase (65)
Phillipe Stark (70)
Takeshi Kitano (72)
Oliver Hardy (1892-1957)
Cary Grant (1904-1986)
David Ruffin (1941-1991)
People’s sources want you to know that Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez’s spouses knew all about them fucking months before we did and it was worked out then. In between running one of the biggest companies in the world, humping on his side piece-turned-main piece, and trying to destroy Superman, it’s amazing how Jeff Bezos actually has time to call into People as a “source” – Celebitchy
Bradley Cooper’s forehead is looking Botox fresh, which would make sense, because I don’t think he wants us to see him make a frown face every time he loses Best Actor at another awards show this season – Lainey Gossip
Lucy Hale is working the current uniform of Los Angeles, which is “receptionist at a forklift supplier coming into work in the morning” – Popoholic
Gregg Araki’s new TV show is either going to be bad in a good way or bad in a bad way – Towleroad
The name “Jayde Nicole” is not one I thought I’d read in 2019, but here we are – (NSFWish) Drunken Stepfather
I want to know more about this negotiation between R. Kelly and Dave Chappelle’s goons – Pajiba
Seeing as though Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright from Vanderump Rules are probably only going to be married for a whole 15 minutes, and California law states that anything made during the marriage is split 50/50, I don’t think it’s a big deal that they’re not getting a prenup – Reality Tea
Because of those glasses and that stache, Zac Efron is giving me unauthorized George Michael Ken doll – OMG Blog
So which Monopoly token is Kevin Hart going to play? – Just Jared
Kellogg’s should be arrested for scamming us by selling a Peeps cereal that looks nothing like Peeps – SOW