Birthday Sluts

November 22, 2015 / Posted by:

Mads Mikkelsen (50)
Hailey Baldwin (19)
Adele Exarchopoulos (22)
Jamie Campbell Bower (27)
Oscar Pistorius (29)
Scarlett Johansson (31)
Tyler Hilton (32)
Shangela Laquifa Wadley (34)
Karen O (37)
Ville Valo (39)
Boris Becker (48)
Mark Ruffalo (48)
Michael Kenneth Williams (49)
Mariel Hemingway (54)
Jamie Lee Curtis (57)
Donny Deutsch (58)
Richard Kind (59)
Steve Van Zandt (65)
Billie Jean King (72)
Terry Gilliam (75)
Robert Vaughn (83)

Pic: Tumblr


Open Post: Hosted By Brad Pitt Working Some Salt And Pepper Pizzazz

November 21, 2015 / Posted by:

Yes, I said “pizzazz” – I love a sassy mop of salt and pepper hair.

Brad Pitt is currently in Berlin filming that War Machine movie, which means he’s back to looking like an IKEA As Is section Anderson Cooper. The last time we saw Brad Pitt, he was working his signature greasy DILF look at the WSJ Innovator Awards two weeks ago. So is it a wig? Is it some Just for Men – Touch of Grey trickery? Whatever it is, I don’t hate it. Like, yes, he looks like a wealthy creep from a Lifetime movie. But he’s also sort of looks like what you’d get if mid-90s Brad Pitt ended up marrying Gwyneth Paltrow, quit showbusiness, moved to a gated community in Greenwich, Connecticut and became a dentist who makes all his patients call him “Doctor B“.

Here’s more of Brad looking super young in the face (maybe his character is fighting a war against wrinkles?) and old everywhere else while filming War Machine.

Pics: Splash


Now For Some Thoughts On Why Women Shouldn’t Be Pilots, Courtesy Of Shirley Bassey

November 21, 2015 / Posted by:

I sure hope the pilot flying that plane up there doesn’t have a pussy!” is what I imagine Shirley Bassey is thinking in the picture above.

Well here’s a whole hell of a lot of random for you. During a recent interview with the Daily Mail, Dame Shirley Bassey (the voice behind a bunch of James Bond theme songs, like the International Gold Digger’s Club anthem, “Diamonds Are Forever“) decided to give a little impromptu TED Talk on gender equality. And basically, here’s what you need to know: Shirley Bassey isn’t having it.

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One Direction Allegedly Got Grace Jones Kicked Off The Jonathan Ross Show

November 21, 2015 / Posted by:

Okay, now before you go and start researching new planets to live on (since a world in which intergalactic goddess Grace Jones is shown anything less than enthusiastic worship is clearly doomed), let’s just keep in mind that this story is courtesy of The Sun. So let’s just say you should probably grab a couple grains of salt before you grab the number of a real estate on Blorg 6.

According to The Sun (via OK!), singing hipster elves One Direction recently got Grace Jones ejected from an appearance on The Jonathan Ross Show. The episode, which was taped earlier in the week and scheduled to air this evening, was supposed to feature 1D and Grace together. But a source claims they were afraid Grace would “overshadow” their appearance (true), so they had her name crossed off the call sheet.

Grace was apparently super pissed when she found out, because she traveled from Jamaica to London specifically for the taping, and that “it showed a complete lack of respect from young guys.” To make up for it, the source says Grace Jones was offered an appearance on Alan Carr: Chatty Man.

Of course, a spokesperson for One Direction is side-eyeing The Sun’s story and told OK! that 1D had nothing to do with Grace being cut from the show, adding that “it wasn’t even discussed with them.” Okay, but if they really wanted to avoid karmic retribution from the ageless icon gods, their publicist should have added: “…in fact, they’re incredibly bummed out that some tacky jerk would deny them the privilege of sharing a seat on that yellow sofa with THE Grace Jones. Yes, even Zayn Malik is sad. He’s not even in the band anymore, and he’s sad too.

Here are the people who are currently holding the No. 1 spot on Grace Jones’ shit list (and possible recipients of a future read) during a sound check and performance for Jimmy Kimmel Live! in Los Angeles last night.

Pics: The Jonathan Ross Show,

Adele Went Undercover And Pranked A Bunch Of Adele Impersonators

November 21, 2015 / Posted by:

Because Adele is GOD and can do whatever she wants (or so my Adele-obsessed friends tell me), Adele decided to promote her latest album of future chart slayers by going undercover as an Adele impersonator to prank some of her fans for a BBC Music special with Graham Norton yesterday. Adele slipped into some Adele drag (aka her best black dress and a 1960s ginger pageant queen wig) and got fixed up with a plastic nose and chin (aka the Kardashian Khosmetic Special), and showed up at a fake Adele impersonator audition pretending to be a Adele impersonator named Jenny.

For the most part, the fake Adeles were nice to the fake-real Adele. Except for the one Adele in the deflated Long Island Medium wig, who got all sassy about how she’d totally read Adele for taking so long to release new music. “I would“? You did! Obviously they all knew something was up with Jenny when she opened her mouth and started singing “Make You Feel My Love“. And then they all whipped out their phones, dialed 911 and were like “Hello? You better send over an ambulance, because I just met ADELE!!!!…and I think I’m having a heart attack.

I don’t know what Adele did with her Adele wig when she was done, but I really hope she gave it to that drag queen in exchange that they promise never to wear that busted Cher wig while performing as Adele ever again.

And in other Adele news, Adele was at the same restaurant with Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, and Liam Hemsworth last night in New York City, and now some people (like People) think they might be friends. Here’s JLaw and her Hunger Games pals looking mopey while going to dinner last night. Maybe they are friends with Adele? That’s totally the face you get from listening to sad Adele songs on the way over in the car.

Pics: Splash

Justin Bieber And Selena Gomez Might Be A Thing Again

November 21, 2015 / Posted by:

For those of you looking at the potato quality picture above and thinking: “For why is some random dude singing to Selena Gomez and two of the three fairies from Sleeping Beauty in a fancy-ass bar?“, well, you got the Selena Gomez part right, but you missed the spoiled Timbit sitting next to her. Don’t beat yourself up over it; Justin Bieber totally blends into the background when he’s not throwing chairs around.

As you can see from the picture above, dickmatization’s former poster children Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber got together, and no, it wasn’t because Selena found a bunch of footy pajamas at her house and decided to return them to their rightful owner. Justin and Selena were caught hanging out at a hotel bar in Beverly Hills last night. And if that wasn’t enough to make you roll your eyes and reach for your “She don’t love herself” GIFs, then there’s also this little nugget of NO: Justin grabbed a mic and busted out a middle school talent show-sounding version “My Girl” to her. Which looked and sounded a little something like this.

@justinbieber singing my girl to @selenagomez….is this real? Pure magic.

A video posted by lındsey (@eatprayphoto) on

No word on how many people in the bar were rushed to the hospital and treated for cringe-uries caused by second-hand embarrassment, but I’m going to assume the answer is: all of them. Neither Justin nor Selena has commented on whether or not they’re humping on each other again, so who even knows how permanent this shit is.

But he didn’t end the night with Selena, because apparently “My Girl” was short for “My Girl…Until Someone Hotter Comes Along“. Shortly after he made Thomas J. roll over in his grave, Justin Bieber hit up a club with Kylie Jenner. Which…also didn’t last very long, since Kylie left the club with Iggy Azalea’s former piece, ASAP Rocky. Yes, Kim Jr. has been single for all of 0.03 seconds, and already she might have a new man. A man who is a whole year older than Tyga. That sound you just heard was Kris Jenner cackling with glee into her morning bowl of spiders.

Pics: Instagram, Splash

Hot Sluts Of The Day!

November 21, 2015 / Posted by:

Every single cholita in this Real Cholas Talk Fashion segment for mitú!

Go ahead and cancel The View, FABLifeorwhateveritscalled, and The Talk, because the only daytime talk show this country really and truly needs is The Cholas! The Latino digital network mitú got a bunch of wise chola beauties together and asked them for their thoughts on celebrities chola-fying themselves. The video really speaks for itself and I don’t have to say shit besides: I WANT TO HEAR THESE CHOLAS’ THOUGHTS ON EVERYTHING. But here’s some choice quotes that take me higher than a Sharpie does when I sniff it hard.

On Nicki Minaj as a chola:First of all, you’re not going to find any hyna wearing like… Mo-sheen-no… Cochino.”

On RiRi as a chola: “818? She’s got an 818 on her. What she know about 818? She don’t know nothing about 818.

On JLo as a chola: “She gets a gold star.”

REAL Cholas Talk Chola Fashion

"The teardrop…it looks like a bad lunar.” #CholasTalk

Posted by We are mitú on Wednesday, November 18, 2015


I hope there’s a part two and I hope that in part two they critique Gwen Stefani as a chola, Sandra Bullock as a chola, Harald Glööckler as a glamour chola and also talk about the presidential election, Adele, politics, the Sexiest Man Alive debate, anal, Oreo Churros, if Jennifer Lawrence is a stunt queen and pretty much every other topic in the world, because their opinion is highly needed. And they’re right, RiRi don’t know nothing about the 818!

via ONTD


Birthday Sluts

November 21, 2015 / Posted by:

Björk (50)
Jordan Lloyd from Big Brother US (29)
Carly Rae Jepsen (30)
Guy Wilson (30)
Lindsey Haun (31)
Jena Malone (31)
Brie Bella (32)
Nikki Bella (32)
Ryan Starr (33)
Cherie Johnson (40)
Brook Kerr (42)
Rain Phoenix (43)
Michael Strahan (44)
Ken Griffey Jr. (46)
Troy Aikman (49)
Nicollette Sheridan (52)
Cherry Jones (59)
Lorna Luft (63)
Goldie Hawn (70)
Marcy Carsey (71)
Juliet Mills (74)
Marlo Thomas (78)

Pic: Pinterest


Night Crumbs

November 20, 2015 / Posted by:

The premiere for the newest Rocky movie Creed happened in Hollywood last night. Michael B. Jordan was there looking hot and Sylvester Stallone’s eyebrows continued to reach for the heavens, but I bet that while the photographers took these pictures, they screamed, “Fuck you two! Where’s the goddess Jackie Stallone?!” – Lainey Gossip

I see that the Duggars trotted out Anna Duggar for their stupid TLC special – Jezebel

HA! Like Amy Schumer goes to the gym! Those are her words, not mine – Celebitchy

The Real Housemesses of New York City are as close, friendly and lovable as ever – Reality Tea 

Sarah Palin wants to slay some salmon with Louis C.K. That is definitely a euphemism and I guess even Mama Grizzly’s got ginger fever – The Superficial 

Len Wiseman’s new piece is an Instagram model – Drunken Stepfather

The Shannon Twins have transformed into blond Kardashians – Hollywood Tuna 

Giada De Laurentiis’ GUMS – Popoholic

And here’s David Bowie to show all the try-hard bitches how weird is really done – Towleroad

If you told me Melissa McCarthy was starring in movie that was very Troop Beverly Hills, I’d tell you to please hold me, because Hollywood keeps hurting my soul. But you know, this trailer actually made me laugh a lot – Pajiba

Jada Pinkett Smith looks like she’s got Christmas ornament pasties covering her nipples. I guess her tits are really, really ready for the holidays – HuffPo

In case you couldn’t tell from the human obviously growing in her body, Jamie Dornan’s wife is knocked up – Just Jared

So is Seth Meyers’ wife – Popsugar

Presenting this week’s panty creamer buffet – The Berry 

Rose McGowan shaved her head – SOW

Pic: Getty


Morena Baccarin Has To Pay Her Estranged Husband $23K A Month

November 20, 2015 / Posted by:

Back in September, the Internet was hit with a giant wave of ESCANDALONESS (not really, not at all) when we all found out that Morena Baccarin (from the V reboot and Homeland) made a baby with her Gotham co-star Benjamin McKenzie (from The O.C.). It wasn’t a scandal that Benjamin busted a baby into Morena’s body, but was it a little scandalous that her husband, director Austin Chick, claims they were very much married and together when she got it on with Ryan from The O.C. Austin Chick filed for divorce in July after 4 years of marriage.

Morena and Austin have a 2-year-old son together and even though they have joint custody, a judge already declared that their kid will mostly live with her in NYC where she shoots Gotham. Morena won that round, but she lost the next one hard. TMZ says that a judge ruled that Morena must pay Mr. Clean’s son $2,693 a month in child support and $20,249 a month in spousal support. That comes out to a grand total of:


The hell kind of money are they paying her on Gotham? Maybe Morena agreed to throw a bunch of money at her soon-to-be-ex-husband, because he threatened to spill all her secrets to the tabloids or something. I don’t know, but we can all learn a lesson from this. If you ever find yourself in a TV show and you really want to bump sex parts with your co-star, but you’re still married and you don’t have  a prenup, you should file for divorce (or break up with your spouse in writing and notarized) BEFORE the dick goes. Because if you don’t, your checking account could be the one that gets fucked hard after a judge orders you to pay your ex a giant pile of cash every month.

With that being said, #getmoneymrcleansson!


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