When Robert Redford announced his retirement from acting last month, a million nostalgia laden hearts were broken. Now the hot grandaddy of the silver screen says he wishes he had never uttered such a proclamation because it probably isn’t true. Mieka’s Sundance Ranch retirement fantasies might not be happening anytime soon, because we will probably be seeing Robert ride on the big screen again. Hell, he may just cark it on set, for all we know!
Bounty of dick Justin Theroux did an interview with the New York Times in which he spoke about splitting from Jennifer Aniston. Justin was obviously taking notes whenever he and Jennifer hung around with GOOP and Coldplay because he describes the implosion of his marriage as a “gentle separation.” That means he had sanity enough not to challenge the pre-nup. Friends money can buy a caliber of lawyer that would have left Justin with nothing but two differently matched hipster boots and tumbleweeds blowing out of his wallet on the chain.
Hallelujah! The clouds have parted and a single ray of sunlight is shining brightly over Justin Bieber, because divine Hillsong intervention has worked for the first time in history and blessed him with a sprinkling of common sense. Despite Justin Bieber looking like a homeless tweaker in that picture above (“Only ‘looking’?” thought anyone who has seen THAT video), he’s worth millions. TMZ reports that The Biebs and Hailey Baldwin did not get secret married last week after being spotted obtaining their marriage license, because they are busy working out a prenup before they hit the gallows- I mean aisle. It’s a Hollywood miracle! A completely rational decision being made by two horny celebrity 20 somethings in a rush to get married. This brings a tear to my eye.
The DC Extended Universe is in a fever to put out as many film adaptions of their properties as possible. Why? Well, because the layperson probably doesn’t know that superheroes come from more than one company and could mistakenly buy a ticket for a DC movie that he thought was a Marvel one. He’s going to go in thinking Spider-Man might make a cameo or there’s actually a good script involved but it will be too late and he’s already spent the money! DC’s upcoming Birds of Prey movie’s got a director (Cathy Yan, the first Asian female director to helm a superhero movie) and Deadline has revealed which actresses are in the running to star.
Sure, you chuckle and keep scrolling whenever someone brings up the Illuminati. It’s such a silly idea to think Beyoncé and husband Jay-Z run a super secret sect of famous celebrities dedicated to ruling the world through money and evil magick, right? Well, you should have studied your one dollar bills more carefully, disbeliever. Because the Illuminati is real, Beyoncé is a powerful witch, and her former drummer Kimberly Thompson is trying to yank back the curtain on the HBIC of the Illuminati despite the evil spells that Bey has cast upon her.
Again, here at Dlisted, we do not condone or endorse blatant thievery, but we do endorse (or I do anyway) foolery produced by raccoons (Exhibit: A, B, C, etc…), and quite fucking frankly, I condone blatant thievery by a criminal ball of fur who only gives a fuck about getting some deliciousness in the robber bag they call a stomach (Exhibit: A, B, etc…). That leads me to today’s HSOTD who proves that not all Canadians are polite and well-mannered creatures who are perfect houseguests. This one’s a straight-up rude bitch and makes zero apologies for it. My idol!