I hate it when I walk out of the restroom and have no idea a piece of toilet paper is sticking to me. – CookieMonsterDory
Nefer-T.P. – FluffKitteh
Sam’s Car from Who’s The Boss?!
In season 5 of Who’s The Boss?, Sam gets her drivers license and so does her best friend Bonnie. Bonnie’s daddy buys her a brand new car, and that’s when the show taught parents an important lesson: “Don’t buy your teen kid some brand new shit for their first car!” Bonnie wrecks her new car in a quick minute. So for Sam’s first car, Tony gets her a used banana boat on wheels that’s longer than Tommy Lee’s dick and covered with red lights for safety. That school bus baby of a car may have been safe for Sam but not for the other drivers. If I saw a young trick driving that gigantic boat car, I’d put on a helmet and drive a different way, because that thing could take me out with one false swerve.
Sam had entered those snobby teenage years, so that banana boat embarrassed her. When Sam parks it at school, the asshole kids gather around and make fun of her. So to avoid getting made fun of again, Sam parks it far away from her school, and it gets snatched! When the police find it, Sam has to tell Tony that she’s an ungrateful brat and was embarrassed by the car.
Jonathan Bower would never! Actually Jonathan Bower probably would’ve paid someone to steal it, drive it to Canada, break it up for parts and torch it.
Honestly, Sam is dumb. All she had to do was drive her car to school and get Mona to walk by it and say, “What a stunning and luxurious automobile.” The kids would shut the hell up, because nobody disagrees with Mona.
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (46)
Winnie Harlow (22)
George Shelley (23)
Cheyenne Kimball (26)
Nick Hogan (26)
Lou Taylor Pucci (31)
Taylor Schilling (32)
Jonathan Rhys Meyers (39)
Alex Rodriguez (41)
Pete Yorn (42)
Cassandra Clare (43)
Maya Rudolph (44)
Bryan Fuller (47)
Triple H (47)
Maria Grazia Cucinotta (48)
Julian McMahon (48)
Juliana Hatfield (49)
Donnie Yen (53)
Bill Engvall (59)
Carol Leifer (60)
Yahoo Serious (63)
Maureen McGovern (67)
Peggy Fleming (68)
Bugs Bunny (76)
Jerry Van Dyke (85)
Norman Lear (94)
Pic: Men’s Fitness
Miley Cyrus posted a picture on Instagram of her wearing a ring that some think is a wedding band, so that started the rumor that she and Liam Hemsworth got secret married. Please, like Miley is going to do something traditional like exchange wedding bands during the ceremony. I won’t believe that she and Liam got married until I see leaked pictures from the ceremony of them bonding their union by getting matching anal tats – Lainey Gossip
Prince William is selling his used Range Rover on Auto Trader for charity – Celebitchy
Today, elegance is spelled J-A-N-E-T M-O-N-T-G-O-M-E-R-Y – Drunken Stepfather
Jill Zarin is still clinging to the Real Housewives in the name of relevancy – Reality Tea
Kate Hudson’s Living The Life Tour has gone to Greece – Egotastic!
The people probably like anal warts more than Kimye so this isn’t saying much – The Superficial
Here’s Rita Ora giving you “sexy Unabomber sketch” – The Nip Slip
I see that the same clown did both Shenae Grimes and Ashley Tisdale’s makeup – Hollywood Tuna
A catfisher is catfishing as Nev Schulman from Catfish – Starcasm
Jenna Dewan is either stretching or trying to wiggle out a stuck fart – Popoholic
Oh, don’t mind me, I’m just being hard-up as usual by trying to find a peen print on Joey McIntyre – SOW
Speaking of peen prints…. – OMG Blog
Matt Damon and Jimmy Kimmel did a couples counseling skit…. and it really needed Sarah Silverman singing about fucking Matt Damon – Towleroad
Jay Mohr changed his mind about divorcing Nikki Cox – Just Jared
Beyonce and Blue Ivy Carter wore matching Beyhive garden party dresses in Paris – Popsugar
As Brittany Murphy’s ghost laughed, Mila Kunis said that Ashton Kutcher’s dick is as big as a can of Guinness – Pajiba
I don’t carry cash, so I when I read the headline “Tilda Swinton Is Your New Auntie Mame,” I grabbed my wallet, pulled out one of my good credit cards, blew it for luck and threw it at the screen. Take my money!
Screenwriter and actress Annie Mumolo is in Bad Moms, and so she did an interview with Vanity Fair to pimp it out. Annie also co-wrote Bridesmaids and she tells Vanity Fair that otherworldly creature Tilda Swinton is a big fan of that movie. Tilda e-mailed Annie and they became pen pals. It’s kind of disappointing knowing that Tilda e-mails like the rest of us regulars. I’d like to think that she writes letters on paper made from the wings of fairies in ink made from the thick jizz of a virile unicorn and sends it via a blue carrier pigeon. But Tilda e-mails, and in one of her e-mails to Annie, she brought up Auntie Mame. That led to Annie agreeing to write a modern-day Auntie Mame movie for Tilda. How do you say “GOD YES” in Venusnese, which is Tilda’s first language.
If Lindsay Lohan’s private life was a room, its walls would be glass, it wouldn’t have a door and outside of it would hang a neon blinking sign that read, “LOOK AT ME” But after the train wreck situation with her alleged cheating and beating Russian fiancé went down, she put a privacy sign on her private life and asked everyone to respect it. But today, LiLo removed that privacy sign for a second to say sowwy for accusing her piece Egor Tarabasov of dipping his untrue dick into a Russian hooker’s leased cooch.