Open Post: Hosted By The Dog Who Gets “Hyped” To Leave A Boarding Kennel Because He Might Get McDonald’s
If you’re an emotionally needy dog, you get your own support dog. If you’re a dog who feels compelled to do hood rat stuff, you take your grandma’s car for a joyride and crash that bitch into anything that gets in your way. But if you’re Bucky, you go viral on TikTok by craving the simpler things in life, like a single warm chicken nugget after a long day in boarding. “How adorably quaint!” cried Elton, the diva dog who demands immediate paw cleanings after going outside for an impressively distinguished shit.
Amber Heard Has Filed An Appeal Asking For A Reversal Or A New Trial Against Johnny Depp’s Defamation Suit
Because dominating the press cycle with their marital drama from the years 2016 to present hasn’t quite been enough, both Johnny Depp and Amber Heard have now filed appeals to the Virginia court’s ruling in their most recent defamation trial, which ended with a jury siding with Johnny on all but one of Amber’s counter complaints. Earlier last month, Johnny filed to appeal the one judgment that went in Amber’s favor, and now, Amber’s filed an appeal to have the verdict overturned completely or be awarded an entirely new trial. Deadline reports that it could take years and the involvement of the Virginia Supreme Court “before this is settled, if it ever really is.” In which case, somebody might want to go nudge Helena Bonham Carter awake and offer her some extra long-acting smelling salts for when she passes right back out again after she learns her friend Johnny might not be “completely vindicated” after all.
This morning, The Sun reported that there was going to be a sequel to The Holiday (2006), and all the main cast members had signed on to reprise their roles including Kate Winslet, the semi-retired Cameron Diaz, Jack Black, and Jude Law (aka Britain’s answer to Nick Cannon). But before rom-com fans could celebrate, that no-good Grinch Nancy Meyers took to Instagram to ruin the fun. 72-year-old Nancy, who wrote and directed the original movie, added this caption to a screenshot of the “news” story: “So many DM’s about this – sorry but it’s not true.” Then she limited Instagram comments, probably because she was getting death threats from horny Jack Black fans. They call themselves “Jackers,” and they’re TERRIFYING.
Great American Family Actor Neal Bledsoe Has Left The Network After Candace Cameron-Bure’s “Traditional Marriage” Comments
This year for Christmas there will be gallons of coal piled into Candace Cameron-Bure‘s stocking because Santa has placed her on the permanent Naughty list. Last month Candace reminded everyone she burns rainbow flags to warm her cold heart by stating there will never be an LGBTQ-themed offering on her new home for crappy Christmas movies, Great American Family. In the aftermath, many people removed their earrings and threw haymakers in her direction for being such a pious prude. And now, one of GAF’s actors, Neal Bledsoe, has packed his belongings and left the network entirely to stand with the LGBTQ+ community. Why he joined the network in the first place is beyond me, but okay!
Get ready to not be shocked at all! Because you will be STUNNED to learn that rumor has it T.J. Holmes cheated with at least one more woman at Good Morning America apart from a three-year relationship with a married producer, Natasha Singh, and his current relationship with married co-anchor Amy Robach. How many side-pieces did this man find at the same location?! Tristan Thompson at least has pieces in other states.
As we all prepare to buy gifts we know we can’t afford, the richest person in the world, Elon Musk, is crying tears of joy and dabbing at his eyes with million-dollar bills after once again being added to the shortlist for Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. Or, perhaps he’s just crying because when he graced the cover last year, he wasn’t in the process of murdering Twitter with his ridiculous antics. Honestly, I don’t think he should have made the list in the first place because he’s a self-destructive demon.