Open Post: Hosted By A Fan Giving Pink A Large Wheel Of Brie

Live shows have lately become a living diorama of society’s social deficits and the atrophy of human decency and decorum. A few months back, we had the orchestra orgasmer. Earlier this month, a fan injured Bebe Rexha by hurling his cell phone at her face during a performance, and another fan made his way up to the stage and slapped Ava Max. And this past weekend, a fan oblivious to anything but her own “Pick me! I wanna go viral!” desires tossed a bag of her powdered mom up on stage, much to the pretty well-handled bewilderment and disgust of Pink. It was such a baffling offering that it overshadowed another fan at the same show passing a strange gift to the stage that Pink received with much more enthusiasm: a huge wheel of brie cheese!

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Scott Disick Bought Amelia Hamlin A $50,000 Print For Her Birthday Using Crypto Currency

Amelia Hamlin’s in love and she doesn’t care who knows it! But she does seem to care what people have to say about it because she turned the comments off of an Instagram post wishing her 38-year-old gentleman friend Scott Disick a happy birthday last month. According to E! News, in addition to gifting Scott with unreserved adoration, she also got him a new Harley Davidson motorcycle. And this month it’s Amelia’s turn to be on the receiving end of Scott’s birthday gifting prowess. For her 20th birthday earlier this week, Scott bought Amelia a photograph of a sexy lady in lingerie riding a saddle on a chair. Sounds super creepy I know but it’s a signed B/W Helmut Newton print worth $57,500, so it’s actually super classy!

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Mackenzie Scott Has Given Away Another $2.74 Billion Right Here On Earth

While her ex-husband Jeff Bezos proceeds to ignite barrels of cash so he can shoot himself into space and finally achieve his childhood dream of playing 7 Minutes in Heaven without the humiliation of waiting in a dark closet for an hour only to come out and find the party had moved to a cooler kid’s house, MacKenzie Scott continues to ensure an eternity in heaven by fulfilling her promise to give away her entire fortune. CNN Business reports that Mack and her new husband Dan Jewett just made a $2.74 billion donation “to organizations that focus on the arts and combating racial discrimination,” bringing Mack’s total giving up to $8.5 billion in under a year. While Jeff has his eye on the stars, Mack’s looking out for humanity right here on earth — and both of hers work!

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Future Gave His 5-Year-Old Son A Rolex For His Birthday

In my experience, 5-year-old children are nearly impossible to shop for. It doesn’t matter what you give them, they get all excited by the box but then as soon as the box is opened and the gift unwrapped, they drop whatever book, toy or stuffed animal you carefully selected baring in mind the child’s current interests and abilities, utter a begrudging “thank you” when prompted by their guardian, and immediately move on to the next wrapped box. This cycle will repeat until all the boxes have been opened and all the adults’ feelings have been hurt by the child’s brazen lack of interest in their carefully selected offering. The lesson here is that it really doesn’t matter what you put in the box, so don’t sweat it! Future recently had to learn this lesson the expensive way when he gifted his 5-year-old son, Future Jr., a very expensive looking Rolex watch.

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It’s The Holiday Hammaconda!

Jon Hamm is obviously embracing the season of giving because he trotted out the Hammaconda as a gift to us all at Barneys in L.A. while shopping with his girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt. She looks kind of embarrassed to be seen with that big lug (and Jon) and she needs to reel that shame in. There are plenty of men and women out there who would gladly trade places with her and would jump out of that store in front of Jon in a full-on Mary Katherine Gallagher “SUPERSTAR” move to announce that the Hammaconda is coming while the “fall on your kneeeeees” line from O Holy Night plays in the background.

I just noticed I got white chocolate all over the front of my shirt when I was dipping Christmas cookies earlier and nothing goes better with pics of peen print than a shirt that looks like it received the Lewinsky treatment. Jon doesn’t usually do much for me, but apparently the holiday spirit has shown itself in the form of fake jizz. I’ve been shit this year, but if Santa wants to do a bitch a favor, he can bring me the Hammaconda and Liam Neeson so I can live my dream of jumping double dutch using their dicks as ropes (I have weird fantasies).

(Pics: Splash, Wenn)