Category: I Love Kim Kardashian’s Stylist

Lukas Gage Went From A Living In A Tiny Apartment To Dating Kim Kardashian’s Stylist In Record Time

February 21, 2023 / Posted by:

The Devil works hard but his manager, Kris Jenner, works harder. Today in What Won’t She Do news, Kris has somehow managed to turn a working-class hero into another cog in the Kardashian machine, churning out tangential plotlines in exchange for his mortal soul. Or it’s just a coincidence. But two years ago, Lukas Gage was just another one of “these poor people that live in these tiny apartments,” and today, he’s banging around on dune buddies at a luxury Mexican resort with his new boyfriend, Chris Appleton, who just so happens to be Kim Kardashian’s hairstylist. The very one who fried her shit to a crisp Corpse Blonde for the Met Gala last year.

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Kanye West And His “Mystery Blonde” Are “Married”

January 13, 2023 / Posted by:

Mystery blonde solved! And she’s not even a real blonde if you can believe it. Or a lawyer (but she might have had a hand in designing Kanye’s Yeezy phone; she helps out where she can). TMZ reports that the woman Kanye West has been spotted with at the Waldorf Astoria in L.A. is Bianca Censoria, a former Yeezy architectural designer from Austria Australia. And her ass looks just like Kim Kardashian’s (did a decade ago). Also, her face. Especially since she and Kim apparently share the same sadistic colorist. However, unlike Kim, Bianca thought it would be a good idea to marry Kanye West in this, The Year of Our Lord, 2023.

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Travis Barker And Kourtney Kasdashian’s Italian Wedding Was A Study In Leather And Lace

May 23, 2022 / Posted by:

The ancient port city of Portofino, Italy was invaded over the weekend by a slavering hoard of Gauls ghouls who breached the fortified walls of the famed Castello Brown and held what appears to have been some sort of Satanic ritual. Townsfolk reportedly heard their sinister machinations (“I, like, totally do,” “bro, same!”) and the screams of the innocent (Scott Disick from 6,000 miles away) well into the early morning hours. Fortunately, no virgins were sacrificed because no virgins could be found. People reports that Travis Barker has made an honest woman out of Kourtney Kardashian for the third time this year in a ceremony that could only be described as comically tacky. The bride wore white and little else.

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Kim Kardashian Says She Wore A Second Dress That Belonged To Marilyn Monroe After The Met Gala

May 6, 2022 / Posted by:

Kim Kardashian’s determination to wear a dead woman’s clothes, that don’t even fit, in the face of near-universal ridicule and ire, apparently knows no bounds. One would think that walking the red carpet at the Met Gala with your ass hanging out of the back of the dress you borrowed from a museum whose main attraction is a collection of shrunken heads only to be accused of desecrating the memory of a beloved Hollywood icon, would be enough humiliation for one day. But that would mean that Kim possesses even an ounce of shame, and I’m pretty sure she had all that removed to make room for more ass. Kim posted an update to her Met Gala evening on Instagram and revealed that she wore a second dress that used to belong to Marilyn Monroe. That means she wore at least two dresses that evening, and possibly hundreds more. Who knows how many replica dresses she blew out.

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Kim Kardashian Wore Marilyn Monroe’s Iconic “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” Dress To The Met Gala

May 3, 2022 / Posted by:

The last thing you want to do when dressing for the Met Gala is set yourself up for a Who Wore it Better situation. Especially if the person who you’re going to be compared to is Marilyn Fucking Monroe, one of the most iconic, oft-imitated and naturally stunning women in Hollywood history. Regardless, since Kim Kardashian believes her own hype, not only did she wear an exact replica of one of Marilyn’s most famous looks, the nude sheath covered in thousands of crystals that she wore to serenade President John F. Kennedy on his birthday in 1962, Kim also, for a hot second, wore the actual dress that Marylin wore on the red carpet. Vogue reports that Kim borrowed the dress from Ripley’s Believe or Not! museum in Florida, which acquired it in 2016 at auction for $4.8 million. It’s an odd place for such an iconic dress to be displayed. If it wasn’t for Ripley’s deep pockets, it might have ended up at The Smithsonian. But now that Kim’s worn it, it truly is worthy of display in Ripley’s Vintage Oddities Collection next to the two-headed calf and the display commemorating The Kentucky Meat Shower of 1876.

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Pete Davidson Has Added To His Tattoo Collection And Got Kim Kardashian’s Name Branded On His Chest

March 17, 2022 / Posted by:

Let’s all just relax, I assure you, everything is all fine and normal. Just because there is a woman wearing a shiny rubber inner tube, sitting across from a surly leprechaun, in a brightly lit studio, cheerfully discussing how her boyfriend had her name seared into his flesh, despite the fact that she knows such talk will further enrage her children’s father, whose frequent and disturbing rants have gotten so out of hand he’s been temporarily banned for sharing them, doesn’t prove the government secretly adding LSD to our water supply. I only wish that were the case.

According to Us Weekly, choices continue to be made, which means we are now all forced to contemplate Pete Davidson’s bare torso for the umpteenth time because Kim Kardashian thought it would be a good idea to appear on The Ellen Degeneres Show and brag that he had her name branded into his chest. Trust me, you’re going to want to make sure you’ve had your kaleidoscope koffee before proceeding.

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