When this dude says, “Feel the Bern!”, it means something completely different, eh?
89-year-old British billionaire Bernie Ecclestone, who is the former head of Formula One Group, has shown everyone that he doesn’t bust dusty nuts and his jizz has still got it. His 44-year-old third wife, Fabiana Flosi, is pregnant with his fourth child. And his first born is old enough to be his future fourth born’s grandmother. As you let that sink in, Mick Jagger is looking at Bernie like, “Pfft, amateur,” since Mick’s got a child who is younger than his great-grandchild.
The messy aftermath of Pamela Anderson‘s marriage to 74-year-old movie producer Jon Peters has lasted longer than the damn marriage itself. 52-year-old Pamela married her old boyfriend from the 1980s in a spur of the moment decision after spending three days with him. They lasted 11 days and now they’re over, but luckily for them, they never filed the marriage certificate. Last we heard, Jon dumped Pamela in a text message. But he’s talked to Page Six since then and tells them that yes, a few text messages were involved. But he’s also claiming he paid off Pamela’s debts and that her sexy work life is what turned him off to being married to her. Which is like… does he know who she is?
Time to pour one out for an absolute legend. Jeremy Meeks’ watch has ended and it’s time to hold whatever the equivalent of a viking funeral is for the storied career of a Gold Digger nonpareil. According to Us Weekly, Jeremy and his TopShop ATM Chloe Green have officially split after two years, one baby (Jayden Meeks-Green), and one hundred trips around the globe on daddy’s yacht. For his achievements in the arts of The Come Up, Fortuitous Insemination, and the Commodification of What Your Momma Gave You, Jeremy has earned himself an entire wing in the Gold Diggers Hall Of Fame.
A sad story is coming out of Italy as screen legend and iconic Italian beauty, 92-year-old Gina Lollobrigida, is in a bit of legal/romantic drama. It seems that her maybe-boy toy/assistant/manager has been accused of stealing millions in money and assets from her. This is why boy toys need to be given an allowance and any requests for more money need to be put in writing. You can’t just hand them the credit cards and pin numbers! You need to keep track.
The very model of a timeless classic, the symbiotic relationship between an Italian gigolo and a divorced/widowed Eastern European gold digger, has been dealt a devastating blow. Page Six reports that Ivana Trump and her fourth ex-husband Rossano Rubicondi have officially ended their on again off again relationship for good. Or at least for now. I think it probably depends on if Rossano’s dreams of a reality TV show about him running a fast/casual Italian restaurant near Mar-a-Lago called “Rossano to Go” eventually pans out. Sadly, I don’t think that it will. The venture appears to have stalled out sometime in 2017.
It’s been a minute since we’ve received an important update on Gold Digger Hall of Famer Jeremy Meeks. Back in June he cinched the bag up tight when his mark, I’m sorry, the love of his life, Topshop heiress Chloe Green delivered a healthy baby boy. Days later we learned that he and ex-wife/mother of his first kid Melissa Meeks had come to a custody arrangement wherein she would get a six-figure check, and their son Jeremy Jr. would come live with daddy in his new London mansion. I’m sure Jr. was thrilled with this arrangement because even the very young know that Pret A Manger > Hooters. Well, somebody just knocked that passable croissan’wich out of that poor kid’s hand and replaced it with a surprisingly decent hot wing, because according to The Blast, Momma Meeks will assume primary custody and Jeremy will pay monthly child support. Say goodbye to your dreams of becoming a prince by marrying Princess Charlotte in 20 years, little fellow. Back to Stockton you go.