Category: Princess Kate
Prince William And Princess Kate Are Heading To Boston For Their “Super Bowl” Of Charity Events
You know, there are British people and there are BRITISH people, if you know what I mean. And then you have your BRITISH, BRITISH people, like Prince William and Princess Kate, who bleed Thames water and breathe the same rarefied Balmoral air as, well, as Ghislaine Maxwell. But try as they might, William and Kate have a lot of catching up to do if they want to court American audiences (fans? Watchers? What do they want from us?!?!) with the same success abroad as William’s brother Prince Harry and his American Wife Meghan Markle. But bless their little crumpet hearts; they’re trying!
King Charles Hosted His First State Banquet As King
Last night was King Charles’ very first state banquet as monarch. The dinner was held for South Africa’s visiting president, Cyril Ramaphosa, who was originally scheduled to make the trip in September. THE QUEEN’S death forced him to reschedule. This banquet was a very big deal (for people who actually give a rat’s ass about the monarchy), so the Royals decided to to bust out the big guns. Their version of “the big guns” is, of course, sparkly tiaras. Queen Consort Camilla wore THE QUEEN’S Belgian Sapphire Tiara and Kate Middleton wore Queen Mary’s Lover’s Knot tiara. The King didn’t get to wear shit. He kept his dome diamond, sapphire, and hair-free. Continue reading
A Royal Expert Claims That Meghan Markle Asked Princess Kate To Be On Her Podcast
There’s a rumor that Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle (pictured above approximately 4 billion years ago when they were still pretending to like each other) might reunite for an episode of Meghan’s podcast Archetypes. Express reports that Neil Sean, a “royal expert” (aren’t we all, at this point?) claimed Meghan asked Kate to guest on the podcast during her recent visit to the UK. I can see it now! “Today’s archetype is… evil, racist royals. What do you think about that particular archetype, Duchess Kate?”
Princess Kate Got Heckled In Northern Ireland
Yesterday Kate Middleton and Prince William visited Northern Ireland to do royal shit (charity, trip to the bar, charity). Sounds fun! Except for the fact that many Irish people loathe the Royals with every fiber of their being. See: the Irish soccer fans who chanted “Lizzie’s in a box!” hours after THE QUEEN died. So it’s not surprising that Kate encountered some Troubles during a walkabout outside Carrickfergus Castle. People reports that while Kate was greeting people in the crowd, one woman took her hand and said, “Nice to meet you, but it would be better if it were when you were in your own country.” HA! All Kate could do was awkwardly laugh, cuz when ya burnt, ya burnt.