Sources Say The Sussexes Have “Declared War” On The Wales By Releasing The Trailer For “Meghan & Harry” During Their “Super Bowl” Charity Event

If memory serves, America did an entire revolution so we wouldn’t have to be bothered with the goings on of the British Royal Family. So I am a bit perplexed as to why they keep washing up on our shores, looking for attention and dumping their family tea all up in our harbors. As if we don’t have our own traditions of feuding inbred clans to contend with! Page Six reports that sources claim that the release of the trailer for Prince Harry and his American Wife Meghan Markle’s Netflix documentary, Harry & Meghan, is part of a ”coordinated campaign” to “overshadow” Prince William and Princess Kate’s “Super Bowl” charity trip to Boston. And the Daily Mail says the documentary as a whole is tantamount to “a declaration of war,” which, as far as I can tell, ain’t got shit to do with the price of tea, which, BY THE WAY, should be free since we didn’t ask for it and y’all just dumped it on us anyway. I mean, we will take it. But we are not paying a penny more than we’re already shelling out for our Netflix subscriptions! 

The other night, Bostonians weren’t even able to enjoy one of their only pleasures in life, watching grown men sweat and grunt over a rubber ball, without Prince William and Princess Kate watching over them on the jumbo-tron, lording their court-side seats over the hoi polloi watching at home and in crowded, dungeon-like sports taverns over lukewarm drams of a traditional quaff of fermented wheat water brewed in honor of their hero Samuel Adams. At the same time, a separate group of Ordinary American Citizens found themselves watching dazzling images on a huge small silver screen of the Sussexes, the Hatfields to the Waleses’ McCoy’s, speaking in hushed tones about sacrifice and stakes over a traditional quaff of fermented grapes brewed in honor of their heroes Ernest and Julio Gallo. Page Six reports:

The release of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s Netflix trailer is believed to be a “coordinated campaign” to overshadow the Prince and Princess of Wales’ big US visit, sources told Page Six.

The dramatic teaser for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s hotly anticipated six-part docuseries, “Harry & Meghan,” dropped early Thursday, while Prince William and Kate Middleton were in the middle of their big Boston visit — for William’s pet cause, the Earthshot Prize ceremony, which has been touted as his “Super Bowl.”

Since we’ve heard repeated times that the Sussexes got spooked that their documentary contained too many “truth bombs” and tried to get Netflix to delay its release, one might conclude that they themselves didn’t intentionally release the trailer on the day of the Waleses’ Big Game. But if that’s the case, frequent Meghan and Harry confidant, Omid Scobie, didn’t do them any favors by tweeting the trailer with the caption, “If tomorrow is Prince William’s Super Bowl, then here’s your Halftime Show.” Unless, of course, he was doing them a favor, in which case, the gloves are definitely off. Which in America means you better be ready for a bare-knuckle brawl. But for these Brits, it means you better be ready for a satin or kid leather cheek lashing and a bad seat at your dad’s coronation. DM reports:

Harry and Meghan’s new Netflix documentary is being seen as a ‘declaration of war’ by the royals, sources said last night.

A promotional trailer, which was posted online on the second day of the Prince and Princess of Wales’ high-profile visit to the US, dispelled any hopes that the Sussexes are declaring a ceasefire in their acrimonious battle with the Royal Family.

As well as including dozens of supposedly private pictures from their family album, the footage includes a voiceover from Harry saying gravely, ‘no-one sees what’s happening behind closed doors’ over a black and white picture of his wife on an armchair, apparently crying.

The message, say royal sources, is unmistakable. ‘I don’t see how anyone could view it as anything other than a declaration of war,’ said one.

Another said the timing of the trailer’s release had not gone unnoticed among palace staff, adding: ‘None of this is a surprise’.

The minute-long Netflix teaser strongly suggests the Sussexes will confront rumours about their tempestuous relationships with senior royals head-on.

Royal insiders reacted with horror and an increasing sense of anger yesterday as the trailer was released on social media ahead of the documentary being broadcast on Netflix next week as part of the Sussexes’ multi-million dollar deal with the streaming giant.

See, now, this is why the NFL pays so much for Halftime production costs. We have to have something shiny and loud to distract us from the brain-scrambling massacre on the field. Then again, there was that one year when the Black Eyed Peas headlined, and that felt like an assault, so perhaps all the hyperbole and hand-wringing over what is essentially a tempest in a teacup is warranted.

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