Category: Apple Martin

Apple Martin Made Her Debut As A “Chanel Girl” At Paris Fashion Week

January 24, 2023 / Posted by:

In the year of our Lord 2008, the late Karl Lagerfeld met 4-year-old Apple Martin, the blessed daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. At that meeting, the prophet Karl declared that, one day, the baby Apple would grow up to be a Chanel girl. Yesterday, Karl’s prediction came true. People reports that 18-year-old Apple made her Paris Fashion Week debut in head-to-toe Chanel, sitting front row of the fashion house’s haute couture show. Somewhere, deep in the rankest depths of hell, Karl weeps. “It came true! It came true!” His moment of triumph is interrupted by a smack in the head by Satan himself: “Quit crying and get back to work, bitch! This lap ain’t gonna dance on itself…”

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