Category: Chanel

Gigi Hadid Bounced A Runway-Crashing Comedian From The Chanel Show

October 1, 2019 / Posted by:

Elle says that Gigi Hadid may have a backup career if the whole nepotism model thing stops working out for her. Because it seems that Gigi has quite a skill for bouncing, as she was the one who managed to wrangle a show crasher who pretended to be a model and crashed the runway at the Chanel show in Paris today. That crasher didn’t expect delicate ass Gigi to turn into Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard. That’s what happens when you try to upstage a member of The New First Family of Fame WhoresNot on Gigi’s watch, bitch.

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Kunty Karl Was Too Tired To Grace The Audience At The Chanel Show With His Presence 

January 22, 2019 / Posted by:

Like every season, the Chanel couture show went down at the Grand Palais in Paris today, but unlike other haute couture seasons, the Grand High Vampire Witch of the Haus, Karl Lagerfeld, was not there to look over his multi-multi-thousand dollar creations in between beaming ice cold “Suck it in, fatté!” glares through his sunglasses at models who ate more than air before the show.

Kunty Karl usually comes out at the end of the show with the “bride” to take in the applause of his devotees before opening his Jack-O-Lantern-on-meth mouth to “kiss” the bride as he sucks her soul out of her young body. But the bride’s soul was spared today, because Karl wasn’t feeling well and bowed out of bowing.

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Chanel Sort Of Apologized For Racially Profiling Gabourey Sidibe

May 13, 2017 / Posted by:

Phenomenal woman, Gabourey Sidibe, was just trying to buy some glasses at the Chanel store in Chicago. She’s a movie/television star – it’s not like she couldn’t afford to shop there, but nonetheless, Chanel should be happy anyone wants to walk their ass into their janky hut. They haven’t been relevant since Jackie O. (I kid, how would I know? This shirt I’m wearing is probably from Savers.) Gabby says that the counter bitch pulled a Michael K’s favorite scene from Pretty Woman on her.

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