Category: Jason Derulo
If You’re A Freak Ass Furry Who Loves To Drop Acid, The “Cats” Movie Is For You!
After we were promised that the Cats movie was going to be every layer of insane, and after everyone prepared to throw their pussies against the screen from getting teased with Idris Elba shaking his shit as the mysterious criminal pussy overlord Macavity, the trailer finally hit our eyeballs and souls, and you better grab a gallon jug of holy water and hide the cat nip before pressing play. Because it is a night terror for all your senses. It does not disappoint.
They honestly should’ve waited until August 26 to release this trailer, because that’s International Dog Day, and this hacked-up musical hairball is a gift to canines everywhere. They’re all going to howl with happiness into the air over how Hollywood did catmanity. If this doesn’t cause all cats to finally rise up against us evil humans, I don’t know what will.
Idris Elba Dances In A Teaser For The Trailer For “Cats”
Earlier today, Idris Elba dropped a teaser for Cats on Instagram, and it truly is a Christmas in July situation, because this video has everything. It’s got Idris dancing. It’s got several front and back shots of Idris in grey sweatpants. It’s got Idris winking directly at the camera, for those who get off on eye contact. And if Idris Elba isn’t your thing, there’s also a couple shots of the bonkers-looking set, which will surely please anyone who thinks this movie is bound to be a mess.
Lindsay Lohan Leads The Endless Glamour And Style Of The MTV European Music Awards
Do I need to write anything more? Simply seeing that Lindsay Lohan was present in attendance should be all the evidence you need that the MTV European Music Awards were a very high-end event. The MTV EMAs were held last night in Spain, and it’s got to be a big, important night if it’s able to drag Lindsay Lohan away from her various Greek beach clubs. But of course Lindsay was there. You can’t think of the word Europe without thinking of Lindsay Lohan. That’s because she’s tried on pretty much every accent found in Europe at one time or another. As for her dress, she looks like a Eurodisco groupie named Svetlana who can’t stay long, because she’s got to pick up her pet serval from DJ Lazer Anus (they share custody).
Open Post: Hosted By The Boxer Flaunting Dat Ass
There’s nothing that gets a room to pop, lock, and drop it like some good R&B, and if you really want to raise the roof, why not take a hit of the good stuff and pop on some Snoop Dogg and Jason Derulo? “Wiggle” may have been the official song of every ladies night in 2013, but that shit still manages to get people boned – and apparently even a dog or two. Meet Zoey the boxer. Don’t let this demure look on her face fool you. Her human companion uploaded this video to YouTube, and it looks like Zoey is single and ready to mingle by the time the beat drops:
Zoey looks like she’s trying to get the attention of a passing camera at the MTV Spring Break house, and who can blame her?! There’s something about a Jason Derulo song that just makes those cheeks clap! Plus, she has moves way better than anything we’ve seen at the MTV Spring Break house. Oh, who are we kidding. I do the same thing when I see my waiter approaching with my order at Buffalo Wild Wings.
Pic: YouTube
Somewhere, A Granny Is Missing Her Favorite Playtex Support Bra
Halsey is one of the music industry’s most frequent red carpet messes, so it’s not a surprise that she would show up to the Billboard Music Awards last night in an outfit that says: “Book my stylist the next appointment at the nearest Pearle Vision.”
That bra is all kinds of tragic. It’s both too big and too small, like some kind of physics-defying underwire nightmare. If that bra could talk, it would beg Halsey to leave it at home and take a set of nipple pasties instead. On the upside, it is nice to see that someone finally purchased the most discounted bra from the clearance section of Ross. But don’t cry for Halsey’s bra. I see a bright future for it. I bet an agent has already signed it to appear as the uncomfortable before bra in an Ahh Bra infomercial.
Jason Derulo Calls Out American Airlines For “Racial Discrimination”
One day after the Cash Me Ousside girl got banned from Spirit airlines for life for punching a passenger, another celebrity found himself in the middle of some airline drama. (I know, I need to punch myself for calling her a celebrity.) Jason Derulo feels like American Airlines racially discriminated against him during a disagreement over dreaded baggage fees.