Category: Geordie Shore

Lindsay Lohan Leads The Endless Glamour And Style Of The MTV European Music Awards

November 5, 2018 / Posted by:

Do I need to write anything more? Simply seeing that Lindsay Lohan was present in attendance should be all the evidence you need that the MTV European Music Awards were a very high-end event. The MTV EMAs were held last night in Spain, and it’s got to be a big, important night if it’s able to drag Lindsay Lohan away from her various Greek beach clubs. But of course Lindsay was there. You can’t think of the word Europe without thinking of Lindsay Lohan. That’s because she’s tried on pretty much every accent found in Europe at one time or another. As for her dress, she looks like a Eurodisco groupie named Svetlana who can’t stay long, because she’s got to pick up her pet serval from DJ Lazer Anus (they share custody).

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What A Loverly Gay Couple

May 24, 2011 / Posted by:

No, this is not a picture from a pamphlet for one of those gay cruises that promises hard nips and passion fruit cosmos. It’s the cast of the completely heterosexual Geordie Shore! You know Geordie Shore! It’s the newest strain of Jersey Shore that is about to simultaneously destroy humanity in the UK while inspiring the youth! The cast gathered together at some bridge in the UK to make STD stew by dipping their petri dish crotches into a tub of lukewarm water.

I joke, but this cast really is refreshing. The fine ladies of Geordie Shore look like they rolled out of the gutter, cleaned their pits off with fire hydrant water and then stumbled to the photo shoot smelling of vodka vomit and fried ham. The fine lads of Geordie Shore, on the other hand, look like they woke up at 5am to do side-by-side ab crunches before painstakingly plucking each other’s eyebrows in a giant bubble bath. The dudes look plucked and pampered while the chicks look fucked and tampered. I love it.

In other Shore news, the Jersey Shore whores are still making us Americans proud. Ronnie fist pumped right into the face of a pregnant Situation last night. A million Italians just breathed a sigh of relief, because they no longer have to dirty their fists by punching The Situation out now that Ronnie’s done it for them.

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