There’s a reason they give you those cute little “I Voted” stickers at the polls, and it’s so you can show the world that you are an informed, responsible, civic-minded individual who has participated in the sacred act of democratic agency upon which our country was built (citation needed), without letting them know that you just copied your husband’s ballot at the 11th hour because you’re a lazy dum-dum who couldn’t get their shit together in time. Now, I don’t know if Katy Perry’s husband Orlando Bloom is the lazy dum-dum in their family or if Katy’s just an ambitious dum-dum. Because Katy got out and voted, but instead of posting a cute ‘lil selfie with her sticker, she took a selfie inside the voting booth that managed to show her entire ass, including who she voted for.
Open Post: Hosted By Snoop Dogg Letting Everyone Know That He Does NOT Smoke At Least 75 Blunts A Day
Rapping marijuana leaf Snoop Dogg is known primarily for two things; his love of weed and his love of weed. Did I miss anything? Probably not, because we’ve known Snoop to be the banner of Legalize It since the 90s when he told us he loves to sip on Gin and Juice. I can guarantee you there was probably weed in there as well, so when his PBR ( or personal blunt roller for your poor folks that can’t afford one) admitted she rolls 70 to 150 blunts for him in one day, it didn’t really come as a surprise to any of us. But do you know who it did surprise? Snoop! And not because he was offended at the number since it was an egregious understatement. Instead, he wants everyone to know he would NEVER smoke that much weed in a day.
Open Post: Hosted By Snoop Dogg’s Personal Blunt Roller Revealing The Amount She Rolls For Him Each Day
Everyone already knows that Snoop Dogg (shown here demonstrating the size of the next blunt he’d like rolled for him) has crafted his entire persona around smoking that sticky icky icky ooh wee, so it came as no surprise to learn that he employs his own full-time personal blunt roller. People were then delighted to hear that he took the current flailing economy into account and gave his roller, named Ranagade PerRana (which seems like the quintessential professional blunt roller name) a raise on the $40,000-$50,000 she initially made. But, Ranagade just shared the number of blunts she rolls for Snoop each day, and after hearing what it is, I’m thinking that her new salary actually isn’t enough to make up for the fatigue her poor little fingers must withstand each shift at Chez Snoop.
Reverend Reefer himself Snoop Dogg previously admitted that he pays someone to roll his blunts for him. And no, sadly, someone isn’t me. But in the event that person gets carpal tunnel from all that blunt-rolling, I’ll be there to take over. Now, Snoop admits that because of the barely affordable times we’re living in, his PBR (Professional Blunt Roller) has demanded a salary increase. And being the wonderful boss he is, he obliged. Probably because he was high as hell.
We all know her as a model, actress, and owner of $2 million dollar legs, but did you also know that Heidi Klum can also sing? If you count breathy autotune as singing then Heidi is a bona fide vocalist! Last month, Heidi released a dance ditty with the man who cannot say no to a paycheck, Snoop Dogg. If you’re looking for a masterclass in posing featuring singing, then the redundantly titled Chai Tea with Heidi is for you!
What’s more gangster than being a multi-millionaire rapper who’s been tapped to half-heartedly crip walk, while high off their ass, on America’s biggest stage, earning millions of additional dollars, and puts a vulnerable, poorly paid gig worker on blast to their millions of Instagram followers because their late-night munchies didn’t arrive in a timely manner? It’s a riddle as American as a McDonald’s Apple Pie that’s been sitting under the heat lamp for too long which, ironically, was probably part of Snoop Dogg’s missing Uber Eats order from January. And the answer to that riddle is Sayd. That’s right, Sayd, the Uber Eats driver who is planning to file a lawsuit against Snoop for sharing his personal information and photo on Instagram to Snoop’s 70 million followers, is more gangster than Snoop. Snoop’s a punk.