John Stamos was on a podcast last month and talked about that time when he had a full-grown “have [no] mercy” man-trum while filming the very first episode of Full House and demanded that barely-year-old babies, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, get fired for crying. But since he basically called the replacement babies fug and awful, the Olsen Twins made their return which eventually launched them into straight-to-VHS kid stardom. As such, adult Mary-Kate and Ashley turned John down a few years ago when he asked them to return for the Fuller House reboot on Netflix, probably because they’re reclusive, already super rich, and knew the show would be a huge, stinking, even-cornier-than-the-original turd. And apparently, John’s fits haven’t evolved much since 1987 because he was just on another podcast and said he was visibly, publicly pissed at them for sitting the show out. However, John says he and the twins ended up hashing it out after coming together to mourn the untimely death of their co-star, Bob Saget.
A big “well pin a rose on your nose” to the new Mr. and Mrs. Stephanie Judith Tanner! People reported that Jodie Sweetin of Full House/Fuller House fame and Mescal Wasilewski, a clinical social worker, got married in the backyard of a private Malibu estate on Saturday evening. And if you’re feeling a vague tinge of “ehh, I have an uneasy feeling about this” deja vu, it might be because Jodie’s done this every few years; Mescal is her fourth husband since the early aughts (and there have been some unsuccessful engagements sprinkled in there as well). But while Jodie had her predictable child-star messy period, she’s seemingly gotten back on her own two feet again over the years–besides recently getting knocked off of them by overly-aggressive cops while she protested the overturning of Roe vs. Wade.
Lori Loughlin and her smarmy husband Mossimo Giannulli (along with Felicity Huffman) dominated headlines for a while after their involvement in the Operation Varsity Blues college admissions scandal was uncovered, their case progressed, and they served their subsequent time in the clink. During their downfall, Lori took every opportunity to show the public that she’s whiny, entitled, and oblivious, which is probably why Aunt Becky on Full House/Fuller House was her defining role. You would think that someone with notoriety and more money than sense who tried and very publicly failed to pull off a scam so privileged that it basically united a large portion of the country in muttering “aw hell naw” would just cry into their stacks of cash and go away forever, but not Lori–she’s a persistent “eternal optimist,” so she recently stepped out to grace her first red carpet since the college admissions scandal.
Olivia Jade might actually have to worry about maintaining a 2.0 GPA because the poor thing is still enrolled at USC. Turns out neither her nor her sister Isabella Giannulli actually dropped out as previously reported after Operation Varsity Blues sent their folks, Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli, to jail (and then back to their multi-million dollar Bel Air Mansion after posting $1 million in bail. Each!). Maybe the girls are waiting to actually get expelled so they can qualify for student unemployment benefits. Look, I went to community college for 6 years, I obviously don’t know how any of this works. But according to Today, Olivia and Isabella STILL might have a paper due for their Navigating Media and News in the Digital Age class. Haha, as if they write their own papers!
Because the second most popular life affirming mantra embroidered on lace trimmed pillows in basement lounge rooms is “It’s going to get worse before it gets better” (the first is “Live, Laugh, Love” obviously), the college admissions cheating scandal just got a little worse for the implicated parties. Felicity Huffman, Lori Loughlin, and their deep pocket buddies have been named in a $500 billion lawsuit by a mom and her son who say he was unfairly denied college admission due to these lying, cheating hos. Maybe they figured that if they win the $500 billion they can buy his way into college, too?
The Plot Thickens (Or Thins, Depending On How Much You Care): Elizabeth Olsen Was Never Asked To Do “Fuller House”
The makers of Making A Murderer are currently working on a second season for Netflix, but they need to hit the red ABORT button on those plans and instead shift their focus to investigating and thoroughly covering the journey to get Michelle Tanner in Fuller House. That American saga has more twists and turns than the Trollsens’ spinning heads when they do a Satanic spell on a bitch.