Lori Loughlin May Cop A Plea Deal After All, And Her Daughters Are Officially No Longer USC Students
Lori Loughlin‘s life has been in a tail-spin ever since her own greed, hubris, and pride got the best of her and she pleaded not guilty to the allegations laid against her in the College Admissions Scandal. Operation Varsity Blues uncovered $500,000 of alleged bribery money used by Lori Loughlin and her husband Mossimo for allegedly getting her two daughters, Olivia Jade and Isabella Giannulli, into USC. The feds allege that Lori used that $500,000 to falsify rowing credentials for her daughters. Welp, the government got her good, and her not-guilty plea turned into more charges, which turned into a lifetime of HELL and TORMENT!
Well, listen, Lori’s fellow College Admissions Scandal schemer Felicity Huffman is flourishing in prison. Not only is she almost done with her sentence and will be out in time for Sunday Night Football, jail life isn’t so bad since she has a tanning area and foosball and shit. So now Lori’s looking at Felicity’s slap on the wrist and thinking: “I am also a rich famous white woman–perhaps I will also get a slap on the wrist? …Maybe I should take a plea?” Took her long enough.
TMZ is keeping fully up-to-date on all things Felicity Huffman and have footage of sis walking around outside of jail. Currently she’s serving a fourteen day-sentence for spending $15,000 to fake her daughter’s SAT scores. Her slap on the wrist started last week and already it’s almost over! It’s like she did a Desperate Housewives time jump!
Lori Loughlin is hilarious. She’s currently awaiting trial for her alleged role in Operation Varsity Blues where rich people used illegal bribes to get their kids into prestigious universities. Lori allegedly used $500,000 to fake some rowing credentials for her daughters, Olivia Jade and Isabella Giannulli. Well listen, that wasn’t the funniest part. She pled not guilty, where others in the case pled out, and then she got hit with more charges. But that‘s not what has me laughing today.
Felicity Huffman is now in prison until October 27, and Lori is super curious about it since she might also be going to prison–albeit for longer than two weeks. Get this, Felicity Huffman is tanning and playing double-dutch with non-violent female criminals, and Lori tried to reach out before she started her sentence and plans to reach out after. Because didn’t you know that Felicity Huffman going to prison has a lot to do with Lori Loughlin?
Felicity Huffman was sentenced to a paltry two weeks in jail for pleading guilty for her role in Operation Varsity Blues, where she spent $15,000 to fake her daughter’s SAT scores. Since we all love Lynette Scavo–especially John Legend–we couldn’t actually let this rich white woman spend the full fourteen days in prison, and now it’s been revealed that Felicity will prance free at 13 days, having one shaved off for time-served.
Today is the day Felicity Huffman begins her – to partially-quote her former co-star Ricardo Chavira – white privilege prison sentence for her involvement in the college admission scandal. I hope William H. Macy sent her in with a signed and framed picture of himself to remind her of what she’s missing out on back home, or to trade it in the yard for a 2-pack of kitchen sponges she can fashion into a set of makeshift hair rollers. Ha! Who am I kidding? Felicity totally isn’t going to that kind of prison.
U.S. Attorney Says Lori Loughlin Should Expect A “Substantially Higher” Punishment Than Felicity Huffman
From the Department of DUH: Lori Loughlin is in more trouble than Felicity Huffman. Both women participated in Operation Varsity Blues, which saw rich people scamming their children’s way into high education through bribe-bribes and not just “charitable donation” bullshit. Felicity dropped $15,000 to make her daughter look better at the SATs, while Lori allegedly dropped a full half a million in order to lie about her two daughters, Olivia Jade and Isabella, being on the rowing team so they could get into USC. if you know anything about numbers and the law, it’s that $15,000 is much less than $500,000, and that the more you break a law the harsher you’ll be punished for it.
So maybe Lori thought–after Felicity earned herself 14 days in jail, a fine and some community service–that she too would be spared some pain and slapped gently on the wrist for her rich people crimes. Alas, the U.S. Attorney who is coming after Lori has news for her: It ain’t gonna happen since Felicity admitted to doing a wrong.