Tom Delonge getting vindicated by the US Navy for posting authentic UFO videos really must have kicked shit into high gear in the alien/UFO/UAP community, because people are really trying to get their asses arrested or at least make it on the news in the name of aliens. That joke event-turned-real life poor decision, Storm Area 51, has gotten real. People have descended on the small towns which neighbor the alleged alien-holding-government facility and they are causing more trouble than they’re worth.
If Pop Star Bingo was a thing, you can be guaranteed that somewhere among the squares marked MISGUIDED ATTEMPT AT ACTING and PERFUME RELEASE, the bingo card would include a space that reads: PERFORMS FOR DICTATOR. It happens a lot. Mariah’s done it. JLo did it. And in 2015, Nicki Minaj performed at a Christmas party hosted by a company owned by Angolan dictator-type José Eduardo dos Santos. That may seem like Nicki likes money more than human rights. But that was then, and this is now.
Back in May, Jenelle Evans of Teen Mom 2 and her husband David Eason, the human equivalent of a Calvin pissing on MY EX car decal, lost temporary custody of their children after he put down the family dog, Nugget. Child Protective Services took their 2-year-old Ensley and placed her with Jenelle’s mother, Barbara. Jenelle’s 4-year-old son Kaiser went to stay with his father Nathan Griffith. Barbara has custody of Jenelle’s 9-year-old son Jace, so he wasn’t removed. Instead, CPS said Jace’s visits at his mom’s house were suspended. David’s 11-year-old daughter Maryssa, whom he had custody of,went to live with her mom. TMZ is now reporting that a judge has gone ahead and given Jenelle two of her children back.
Because the second most popular life affirming mantra embroidered on lace trimmed pillows in basement lounge rooms is “It’s going to get worse before it gets better” (the first is “Live, Laugh, Love” obviously), the college admissions cheating scandal just got a little worse for the implicated parties. Felicity Huffman, Lori Loughlin, and their deep pocket buddies have been named in a $500 billion lawsuit by a mom and her son who say he was unfairly denied college admission due to these lying, cheating hos. Maybe they figured that if they win the $500 billion they can buy his way into college, too?
The 39th Annual Golden Raspberry Awards were just announced, and as is usual in most losing your virginity in high school scenarios, the Razzies continue to nail the best of the worst! This year was a real equal opportunity caller out-er of the bad shit on the silver (nickel plated?) screen, and no hair piece, Dame, politician’s wife or puppet was excluded from the Razzie spotlight of the worst for 2018.
HAHAHAHAHA!! Ok, now that that’s out of the way. I think when Venezuelan fitness model Michelle Lewin watched the Fyre Festival documentary she paid no attention to the lies, scandal and infamy surrounding that cautionary tale of fuckery. Her attention span decreased to zero after the scene where the models frolicked with the pigs and probably thought, “Ooooh, look at the little piggies! We must shoot there at once!” Flash forward to embarrassment and red pig bites on your ass and now she’s probably wishing for a do-over.