Stephanie Tanner Was Probably High On Meth Here

Full House’s Jodie Sweetin has a new book out called “Unsweetined” (I guess “How Rooood” was already taken), which chronicles her road from child star to crackhouse resident. To promote the book, Jodie spent a little time with UsWeekly to basically tell them all the weird places she got fucked up at. The interview reads like a food journal for junkies! Or like the average Dlisted reader’s diary entry. This is what I’m talking about:

Jodie on getting the drunk barfs at Candace Cameron’s wedding:
“I probably had two bottles of wine, and I was only 14. That first drink gave me the self confidence I had been searching for my whole life. But that set the pattern of the kind of drinking that I would do.”

Jodie on driving drunk while her baby daughter was in the car:
“That was the big rock bottom. I had two glasses of wine and drove with her in the car. I not only put myself in danger, but also my daughter, who I loved more than anything. I felt terrible.”

Jodie on claiming to be sober on GMA even though she was fucked up:
“I was selfish, self-serving, insecure, angry and fearful person living a double life. I covered up my problems by pretending to be happy and saying that everything was fine.”

Jodie on doing meth in the bathroom at the premiere of the Olsen Troll’s movie New York Minute:
“I was pulling off the deceit. It was hard for people to believe I was doing that much drugs. I look at photos from that event, and I didn’t even look strung out!”

In Jodie’s defense, anybody who sat through New York Minute wishes they had given themselves a meth-enema before they watched it. And I’m guessing Kirk Cameron was at Candace’s wedding, so that explains why she swallowed 2 bottles of the sweet nectar. Yes, my real name is Michael “Enabler” Kay Kae.