The Olsens Aren’t Going To Be In Fuller House

After the Netflix reboot that EVERYONE (aka just me) asked for was announced, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen played like nobody talked to them about it. John Stamos must know that Greek yogurt is like Kryptonite to a bohemian forest troll, because he risked his life by calling them liars. The Olsens said that they were going to talk to Bob Saget about it . Their conversation probably went something like this:

Bob Saget: So are you guys going to do it?

Olsens: Bleheheheheheheheheh!! *click*

The executive producer of Fuller House tells The Wrap that the Olsens will not join Kimmy Gibbler, Stephanie Tanner, DJ Tanner, Uncle Jesse and Joey in the reboot. They have decided that they didn’t want to take time away from running their fashion empire. Translation: They are way too good and way too rich for that shit.

“Although Ashley and Mary-Kate will not be a part of ‘Fuller House,’ I know how much ‘Full House’ has meant to them and they are still very much considered family. It has been exciting to see how they have built their professional careers, and I support their choice to focus on their fashion brands and various business endeavors. I appreciate their support and good wishes towards ‘Fuller House.’”

Sure, the producers could always get The Conjuring doll to play a grown up Michelle, but it wouldn’t be the same. The Conjuring doll is way too alive in the eyes and so not scary enough to play an Olsen.