Prince Harry and Meghan Markle can let out a huge sigh of relief today. Because no longer do they have to stress about awkwardly changing the subject when one of their new neighbors asks, “So what is it that you do for work?” For a long time, Harry and Meghan have been – ahem – between jobs, due to COVID-19 messing up their ability to make some money from those lucrative speaking engagements they were hoping to land after stepping down as senior royals. But Harry and Meghan are officially employed people, thanks to a multi-project deal with Netflix.
When Bella Thorne announced she was joining OnlyFans, the content subscription services that has truly blossomed in these quarantine times, she crashed the site. Because a whole lot of horny strangers were itching to pay $20 a month for Bella’s uncensored content. Bella was also planning to film a documentary on her OnlyFans journey, which she projected would bring her at least $1 million a month. It’s a good thing that Bella’s online side-project is releasing titty pics, and not running a psychic prediction site, because Bella’s financial projection was WAY off. According to Page Six, Bella reached her million-dollar goal after just 24 hours.
Ewan McGregor has played Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi in three Star Wars prequels (five if you could his two voice cameos in The Force Awakens and Rise of Skywalker). And it was recently decided that 50% of the money he’s made playing Obi-Wan would go directly to his ex-wife, Eve Mavrakis. I’m practically tripping over my own two feet to make a Star Wars settlement joke. I’m leaning towards, “She Obi-Wanted half of his cash,” or “Use the force…to auto-deposit 50% of your residuals into her bank account.”
TMZ reports that after 24 years of marriage, Nicole Young has filed for divorce from Dr. Dre and I’m choosing to fantasize about her future wealth and independence rather than focus on the dissolution of their family. Dre (government name: Andre Romelle Young) is reportedly worth $800 million, both their kids are grown, there is no prenup and Nicole is seeking spousal support. Hopefully, Nicole’s about to get a heaping helping of that Apple sauce, because after 24 years, I’m sure she knows where all the bodies are buried.
It was reported this week that Disneyland is planning to officially re-open on July 17th, four months after they closed in response to the COVID-19 pandemic. Coronavirus or not, Disneyland’s got to open the gates and start overcharging guests, because it sounds like it’s about to take a $100 million hit. If sources that spoke to The Sun are telling the truth, then Beyoncé is very close to signing a $100 million contract with Disney.
By now, there probably isn’t a square inch of NYC that hasn’t been touched, literally and figuratively, by the shitty COVID-19 virus. And that includes the famous Joanne Trattoria, owned and operated by Joe Germanotta, father of Lady Gaga. Gaga is also part-owner of the place. Times are tough and hospitality staff are losing their jobs left and right. But Joe decided to go the extra mile and ensure that the dedicated employees of his eatery were taken care of financially––except somebody else was going to pay for it.