The cackles from Satan were extra loud around Los Angeles yesterday because a member of the Koven, Kourtney Kardashian, announced another Kardashian spawn will soon be upon us. During Blink-182’s show at the BMO Stadium last night, 44-year-old Kourtney Kardashian announced that she’s pregnant with 47-year-old Travis Barker’s baby by holding up a sign in the audience that read, “Travis I’m Pregnant.” Say what you want about the Kartrashians (and we do ), but IN THIS ECONOMY and IN THIS JOB MARKET, they are keeping the nanny industry alive! So this is excellent news for nannies who need a job and also have the patience to stand there as it takes Kourtney forty-five minutes to drool out the words, “Don’t… feed… them… su… gar.”
Now that Sam Smith has realized their new goal of being the sexiest slab of raw chicken in the world, they’ve teamed up with Madonna to unleash a new song unto the masses. Initially, Sam and Madge teased an upcoming song, but at that point, it was just speculation. For us, at least. Because, unlike Madge’s upcoming tour that may or may not reach completion, the song is finally here. And since Sam is in their “I wanna be shocking and NEKKID!” phase, teaming up with Madge makes sense. Sam and Madge’s song, aptly titled Vulgar, and it’s the kind of beat you’ll be hearing on your drunkest days while slamming two-for-one Tito’s mules at bars all across the world during Pride.
As expected, the Garth Brooks of pop Taylor Swift released her 846th version of her seventh-month-old album Midnights (okay, it was her fifth version… and counting). Initially, it was sold EXCLUSIVELY in CD form at her Eras show in New Jersey last night. But she later released the version, The Late Night Edition, in digital format in her webstore. That edition features a new song called You’re Losing Me, where she sings, “I wouldn’t marry me either/A pathological people pleaser/ Who only wanted you to see her.” So basically, everyone’s thinking that Taylor and Joe Alwyn broke up after six years together because he didn’t want to marry her. And to Swifties, those lyrics are a battle cry, and they’re pulling out their weapons (aka emojis) as they get ready to ATTACK!
Those Pictures Of Ariana Madix “Moving Out” Of Her Home With Tom Sandoval Were Staged For A Sponsored Post
37-year-old Ariana Madix and her ex, 39-year-old Tom Sandoval, were together since 2016 before his shocking affair with 28-year-old Raquel Leviss rocked the Vanderpump Rules cast and shot a whole bunch more ratings into Lisa Vanderpump and Andy Cohen‘s pockets. But they aren’t the only ones who are going to cash in on this. Ariana staged “moving out” pics of her carrying boxes from the home she shares with Tom for some sponcon cash. Well… at least she’s taking getting cheated on well–turning lemons into lemonade in 2023 looks like this: selling your soul.
The rumors of Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell leaving their partners for each other have brought more attention to Will Gluck’s upcoming rom-com Anyone But You than any movie trailer could ever dream of. While some are calling Sydney and Glen the new (and way less famous) Brangelina (although Gledney doesn’t really have the same ring to it), a few sources tell TMZ that Sydney is still totally engaged to her fiancé Jonathan Davino and there’s nothing going on between her and Glen. BUT WAIT. Glen’s girlfriend, Gigi Paris, unfollowed Sydney on Instagram and we all know a move like that is more brutal and serious than Gigi throwing a drink at Sydney and calling her a homewrecker!
Last night, Elizabeth Olsen went on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert to promote her new show, Love & Death, the second limited series about axe murderer Candy Montgomery in under a year (Hulu’s version starred Jessica Biel). During the interview, Elizabeth gabbed about making Marvel movies, and she told Stephen Colbert that it’s “ridiculous” that she does most of her stunts. She adds that “it’s a waste of everyone’s time,” cuz stunt doubles do it “so much better.” Elisabeth, stop wasting our time and say what you really mean: fuck Tom Cruise!