Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For “Magic Mike’s Last Dance” Featuring Salma Hayek In The Role Originally Played By Thandiwe Newton
Cast your memory back to February of this year. It was the best of times (somebody gave Nick Cannon a vending machine full of condoms), it was the worst of times (he never used them), it was an age of wisdom (Channing Tatum said he almost didn’t do Magic Mike 3 for the sake of his health), it was the age of foolishness (Thandiwe Newton dropped out of MM3 after reportedly fighting with Channing over The Oscar’s Slap). And because the good and wise times hence have gone unheeded, Nick’s expecting baby #12, and we now have the first trailer for Magic Mike’s Last Dance in which Salma Hayek doffs Thandiwe’s fedora and brushes Channing’s “well-defined six-pack.” It’s as if we’ve learned nothing in all this time, yet somehow, simultaneously, we found the meaning of life. Light and dark. Hope and despair. Magical Michael and his merry band of manly men may just make horny believers of us all.
Beyoncé Leads The Grammy Nominations, Followed By Kendrick Lamar, Adele, And Brandi Carlile
The 2023 Grammy Award nominations came out today, and Beyoncé leads the pack with 9 nominations for her album, Renaissance. Kendrick Lamar follows closely behind with eight noms, and Adele and Brandi Carlile each snagged seven. With these latest nods, Beyoncé ties her husband Jay-Z as the most Grammy-nominated artist of all time: 88 nods in total. Fart out one more song in the next year, Bey, and your long con revenge plot against Jay’s cheating ass will finally be complete!
Zoë Kravitz Covers Channing Tatum, Taylor Swift And “Nepo Babies” In This Month’s GQ
I don’t want anybody to get too excited: The prediction I’m about to make may be premature, as it is based solely on the pretentious Art fumes wafting off of Zoë Kravitz’ recent interview with GQ in which she touches on falling in love with Channing Tatum, the star of her upcoming feminist directorial debut, over their shared passion for Art, not long after the dissolution of her marriage Karl Glusman, and disputes the idea that “nepo babies” are any different from regular babies that go into the same business as their parents. I mean, I obviously hope and pray that we have another Don’t Worry Darling situation on our hands with Pussy Island, but I’m not quite ready to start taking bets. I know the odds are grim, so for now, I’m just floating the idea in case I get the chance to scream, “I TOLD YOU SO!” when, a year from now, we’re all losing our collective shit when Geena Davis shows up late to the Venice Film Festival swirling an Aperol Spritz.
Candace Cameron Bure Says Her New Network Great American Family Won’t Feature Same-Sex Couples In Holiday Movies, And Hilarie Burton Drags Her For It
Who would have thought Candace Cameron Bure, the artist formerly known as DJ Tanner, would grow up to be such an unlikeable human being? JoJo Siwa knows it. But the one person who is putting on the Cape of Good Faith to really call her out is Hilarie Burton. Once again, Candace has grabbed her cross and flask of Holy Water to swing and spew more religious tropes about her new network Great American Family being the place where only God-lovers can enjoy wholesome sin-free content! And in doing so, Hilarie grabbed her ally sword to slice Candace’s trite rhetoric to shreds once and for all.
Taylor Swift’s Fans Are Protecting Their Queen On Twitter After Drake Threw Some Billboard Hot 100 Shade Her Way
Swifties are having a WEEK. Today, they’re dealing with Tickemaster crashing as they try buy tickets to their Queen’s tour. And yesterday, they had to deal with Drake disrespecting their Savior!
Beyonce isn’t the only person with a fan base of STANS who are ready to draw blood at any cost for their Queen. Apparently Taylor Swift‘s fans are also just as messy as they are, and anyone who has anything bad to say about her will immediately feel their wrath. Recently low budget House diva Drake was definitely in his feelings after Taylor’s song Anti-Hero once again got the top spot on the Billboard Hot 100, which shouldn’t come as a surprise because Taylor is a siren whose music hypnotizes money to drown into the sea of her bank account. Why Drake chose to say anything is beyond me but her army of fans, the Swifites, swiftly grabbed Drake by his weave and dragged him up and down the Twitter hallway.
Andy Dick Will Serve 90 Days In Jail For Groping An Uber Driver
The streets are safe from Andy Dick. But only for 90 days, as the former actor turned professional menace to society has finally been sentenced for an incident from all the way back in 2018 when he allegedly groped his Uber driver. Uber drivers rejoice! You are safe for at least three months.