Andy Dick Will Serve 90 Days In Jail For Groping An Uber Driver

The streets are safe from Andy Dick. But only for 90 days, as the former actor turned professional menace to society has finally been sentenced for an incident from all the way back in 2018 when he allegedly groped his Uber driver. Uber drivers rejoice! You are safe for at least three months.

Andy has been accused of sexually assaulting several people, and he served jail time for sexual battery in 2019 but was released after one day due to overcrowding. Which was clearly a mistake–they should have let out some minor drug offender and popped Andy’s ass in his place! And from November 2021 to today, Andy has been arrested three times; once for allegedly attacking his boyfriend with a liquor bottle, another time for sexual battery, and most recently, for residential burglary after allegedly breaking into a building under construction and being caught by the homeowners.

Back in April 2018, Andy was accused of groping an Uber driver. A warrant was issued for his arrest in 2019. That wasn’t even the last time he had issues with an Uber driver, as he was filmed getting whooped by an UberEats driver after allegedly trying to steal the order. But come Friday, we’ll be safe from Andy Dick… at least temporarily. via The Blast:

Andy Dick has just been sentenced to 90 days in jail after he was convicted of sexual battery for allegedly groping an Uber driver. The comedian will also be forced to register as a sex offender.

According to legal documents obtained by The Blast, the comedian appeared in court on Thursday and faced the stunning decision that will ultimately land him behind bars.

During the hearing, Dick was told he would spend the next 3 months in L.A. County jail and would be forced to register as a sex offender. The comedian will have to complete 52 Alcoholics Anonymous sessions, 52 sexual compulsion anonymous sessions, 12 mental health counseling sessions, and pay restitution to the victim.

Dick was ordered to check himself into custody on November 17, 2022. Following his release, the comedian will spend the next 12 months on “summary probation,” where he can be monitored while he finishes the classes and counseling.

Andy Dick’s probation officer better be literally Batman because I don’t know who the fuck else they think has the combination of mental fortitude and physical strength required to handle him. And good luck to the cellblock that Andy Dick will serve his time in. “Um, can I please be transferred to Death Row?” is what some of his cellblock neighbors will ask after spending more than a minute with him.

Pic: Milla Cochran/Startraksphoto